


Part II: New World

by ButterflyBunny



Series: Before The Solstice [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Advanced Technology, Afterlife, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awesome Jane Foster, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky starts to remember, Camping, Character Death, Comfort, Confessions, Conspiracy, Conversations, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Dancing, Dancing and Singing, Death, Developing Friendships, Difficult Decisions, Dreams and Nightmares, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Driving, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Flashbacks, Flirting, Forehead Touching, Haircuts, Healing, Heavy Angst, Home, Homecoming, Hopeful Ending, Hotel Sex, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, It's like Mad Max meets Waterworld, Jane Foster deserves the world, Jealousy, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, Loneliness, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Memories, Minor Original Character(s), Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Universe, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Female Character, POV Jane Foster, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Plot Twists, Post apocalyptic future, Post-War, Promises, Protective Bucky Barnes, Rain, Rebellion, Recovered Memories, Recovery, Repressed Memories, Resolved Sexual Tension, Restaurants, Returning Home, Road Trips, Romance, Sex, Sexual Tension, Sleeping Together, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Slow Romance, Technology, Temporary Amnesia, Thunderstorms, Touching, Traveling, Trust, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, War, World War IV, Worldbuilding, long nights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:33:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 84,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyBunny/pseuds/ButterflyBunny
Summary: After escaping Arcadia, Bucky and Jane venture into the New World together. Bucky is in the search for his past, while Jane is on her way towards the only thing she has left. Together they must survive The Desolation, the remainders of the Old World, and travel through the remaining four colonies not knowing the dangers that await them.





	1. Promises, Promises

_“Bucky, wait”_

_He turns to Steve and takes a finger to his lips, gesturing him to be silence. The blond purses his lips and shakes his head, but ultimately follows him. They are in their – second favorite – place in the colony, the old dock with the abandoned and wrecked ships. Steve doesn’t like much there, he prefers the old Big Wheel, the incessant rocking of the boats make him sick every time, and Steve spent a lot of time sick without the help of the sea._

_“I might get sick” Steve says in a whisper._

_“Fine” Bucky rolls his eyes, “Just don’t puke all over me, punk”_

_He hears him chuckles softly, “Jerk”_

_Bucky glances at him and offers him a smile. It was Bucky’s idea to go there. The High Commander had announced that a new fishing boat – the one Arcadia had gifted them – would be named that day and he wanted to see it before it was unveiled. He had woken Steve before dawn so they could go to the docks._

_“It’s not going to be used to fish”_

_Bucky stops on his tracks and Steve bumps into him, but before he can say anything, he turns and covers his mouth. Steve’s wide blue eyes turn into a glare before he too hears the two men than Bucky had seen._

_“They are going to try getting to the other side, or explore underwater, I think” The stranger continues, “Arcadia paid for the boat and they are sending equipment from The Cinders”_

_Steve and Bucky exchange confused glances and when Steve shrugs, he turns, hiding behind a wall to look at the two men without being noticed. He hadn’t seen them before, and Bucky and Steve knew pretty much everyone in Catalean, they spent their days walking around the colony after school since they can recall. The two men were inhaling something, Supernova, Bucky’s mind supplies, a drug that was only found in Arcadia._

_The second man snickers, “Why don’t they just tell these people?”_

_Good question. Bucky thinks._

_“You think Catalean would share if they found something?” The man scoffs, “Why do you think they sent us all the way from Arcadia to supervise?” he makes airquotes._

_“Oh, man, what do you think we’ll find?” The other man chuckles, “Have you seen Titanic? That big rock the old lady throws in the ocean”_

_Both laugh, “Whatever, man, I’ll work two months and then back to Arcadia, the air smells odd here”_

_Bucky frowns. Steve pulls from his arm then, and before he can turn to him, his foot sinks on a rotten wood palet, making a creaking noise that echoes loudly. He then glances at the two men and they turn to him quickly._

_“Hey!” One of the men say, “You there!”_

_“Steve, run” Bucky whispers harshly._

_His feet move before he finishes the sentence._

_They can hear the men calling after them, Bucky’s lungs are burning and his legs are weak under him. they have been running for what feels like hours but they hadn’t being able to lose them. It was best to hide inside one of the old boats, The Mirage, he knows it well. The wood was rotten and the salt water had ruined the painting outside of it and Bucky wonders why do they keep them anchored to their docks if they are not useful at all. The two men see them, the light of their flashlights pointing at them and when Steve jumps inside Bucky follows._

_He makes a wrong turn and falls, and he’s submerged underwater for a few seconds, before he swims upwards, legs kicking and arms flapping to stay on the surface. Steve looks down at him and reaches for him._

_“They are on the boat!”_

_“Hold my hand!” Steve says._

_Steve’s hand shoots out to reach him, but it’s just too far. And the men are right behind them, their voices getting louder as they moved closer. He knows they aren’t going to make it, not the two of them. He stretches as much as he can, the weight of the water pulling him down as he finally, finally reaches Steve’s hand. it’s cold and wet, the fingers circling around his wrist are long, white and shaky. He looks at Steve, and when he licks his lips they are wet and he can taste the salted water, dripping from his hair. He can’t let anything happen to Steve, he always promised to keep him save._

_So he lets his hand go. Slips through his fingers like the water drowning him._

_“You have to go!” He yells at Steve, head on the surface again, “They can’t catch both of us”_

_“No!” Steve shuts his eyes tightly, “It’s you and me!” he says, “Until the end of the line!”_

_When Bucky looks up, blue eyes, much like his own, are looking at him wide as plates and scared. It’s dark, and he can barely see, the only thing he can hear is the waves crashing into the boat, rocking the wooden floor Steve’s standing on. He knows they can’t both leave._

_"You go” His voice strained, and it breaks before he can finish, “You go first”_

_“Bucky, no” Steve shakes his head._

_“There! In the water!” One of the men yells, too close to them._

_“Steve! Go!” Bucky yells, “I’ll catch up!”_

_Steve takes a few deep breaths in looking at the flashlight lights come closer. Bucky nods at him before starting to swim to the shore, it’s for show, he will never make it. And when he turns Steve is gone, he would run home safely while the men followed Bucky instead. It was the end of the line, and Bucky had gotten Steve safe through it. He opens his mouth and takes a deep breath in, before yelling them to catch him if they could._

“Bucky!”

Bucky blinks his eyes open, feeling his eyelids heavy when he does, he can hear Jane talking to him and then to someone else. _Yondu_ , his mind supplies, the memory of what had happened… Minutes? Hours ago? Returning as the blood starts rushing to his heavy head. He feels Jane warm next to him, and when he turns he frowns at her, as she returns the look with concern in her eyes. He tries to figure where he is, as he looks around and feels something like leather under his fingers, the floor vibrating under his feet. A moving vehicle. Coulson had told Bucky that Yondu and his band were nomads, moving around Desolation collecting “antiques” like they called them, and sometimes they stole things from the supply trucks that traveled from colony to colony. Daisy had told him they called themselves…

He shuts his eyes trying to remember.

“Bucky, I need you awake, Look at me” 

Jane cups his cheek and he does.

“I cleaned the wound, but I gotta do something before I close it”

Jane’s face is inches from his, a strand of her har falls over her cheek and he wonders when did she tied it up, her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes roam over his body, falling on his left arm. He feels sleepy but not tired. He glances pass Jane when she leans look at his arm examining the cut closely, there’s a window behind her but there’s only darkness behind, the landscape moving too fast until is almost a blur.

Jane holds his jaw making him look at her again, “The cut on your- the dagger was poisoned”

 _Yes, Jane_. He makes an effort to nod.

“You need anything, sweetheart?” 

Yondu is behind Jane. Jane shakes her head and moves away from Bucky, explaining Yondu about the poison as she reaches for the bag. Daisy had told him she packed everything they needed, the medical kit inside was full of medicine and bandages, but he wasn’t sure what could Jane use. The poison in Zola’s dagger was one found in a plant that the man grew himself, and if just the small amount that entered his body through the cut was making him feel like that, he couldn’t imagine what it could do if ingested. 

He looks at Yondu and the man raises an eyebrow.

“It smells like honeysuckle so this could work” Jane says, and shows him a small autoinjector like the ones Mordo used in some of the fighters, “I just- Bucky, I- I’m not sure if-”

He makes a noise, deep from his throat. Jane takes a deep breath and nods. 

“Sure you know what you’re doing?” Yondu asks sceptically. 

Jane glances at Bucky, “Yes” with shaky fingers she reaches for his belt, and Bucky scowls as she unbuckles it, Yondu raises an eyebrow, “Put this in your mouth”

Bucky opens his mouth as much as he can and Jane puts the thick leather between his teeth, telling him to bit down into it as hard as he can. _So it’s going to hurt_ , he thinks, as he follows her instructions. He looks at the roof, white metal as far as his sight reaches and then he feels the needle sink into his arm, it wasn’t that bad, until a throbbing pain takes over the entire left side of his body. Jane’s puts a hand on his chest and bites her bottom lip. The last thing he registers is Yondu putting an arm on her shoulder and Jane telling him it was working.

 

* * *

 

Jane wipes the sweaty hair from Bucky’s forehead before she sits on the cot infront of him, finally able to catch her breath. When she looks at her hands they are covered in his blood, the rest of what was left of Bucky’s leather jacket was laying on the floor, so she reaches for it and uses it to wipe the blood off her fingers one by one as she stares at the man’s chest, making sure he continues breathing. Mentally, she thanks Daisy for packing them that medical kit, and promises not to complain about it being too heavy next time she has to carry it. She closes her eyes and drifts into a light sleep for a few minutes until the bus that Yondu had taken them in, hits a bump in the road and she stands, putting a hand in Bucky’s knee. 

“t’s alright, sweetheart, he ain’t gonna to fall”

Jane turns to Yondu, who is holding to one of the bars attatched to the roof, and nods while rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand. He stares at her, before offering her a somehow wicked grin, and for a second she remembers the gold dagger she had taken and put inside her satchel a few feet from her. Zola’s poisoned dagger, that she had taken without Bucky noticing. Yondu doesn’t seem _that_ dangerous though, besides, Bucky seemed sure they were there to help. She looks outside the window and sees other cars and two more buses, all moving in the same direction. When she accommodates on her seat and looks around she realises the bus looks like a hospital inside, with several cots – like the one Bucky was laying on – medical kits (that are empty), a door at the end of the hall that she asumes it’s a bathroom. Yondu and his fleet, The Ravangers he had said, were nomads. And yes, they were pretty much like pirates.

The sound of a horn pulls her out of her thoughts and Jane glances at Yondu before kneeling on the cot and looking outside the glass window. The Ravangers start honking inside their vehicles, the cacophony becoming almost deafening.

“This means we are far enough from the colony” Yondu tells her.

Jane’s lips quirk upwards and puts a hand on the glass, feeling it vibrate. She stares at he distance for a few seconds, her eyes searching through the darkness. A few feet from them she sees it.

It was _Horizon_. 

Before the war that ended the Old World, a train had been built that traveled through all America – what was above the water that is – for travelers to move without the need of cars or airplanes. After the colonies were stablished, they realised the train crossed all five of them in a period of six months, and started using it to deliver their food all over from colony to colony without having to waste fuel from the few trucks available. Jane’s father had told her that when it stopped one could walk inside of it with tranquility, but once it started working again it could not be stopped. She remembers seeing the horses running next to it, while some men stocked the train full of supplies on one side, and they picked up the ones belonging to Glassmere from the other. The ten mile long, monster machine was one of the few man-made things that survived the war, alongside the great wall of China and the Panama canal, Jane hadn’t seen any of the three but in pictures.

Until now.

Jane doesn’t even realise the bus stopped until she sees Horizon disappear in the darkness, the two red and white lights at the tail tiny spots that look like the stars shinning above them. Jane takes a deep breath, realising how beautiful they look. The north star marking the way to her home, and her eyes water when she remembers Glassmere wasn’t hers anymore and that they would have to go to the other direction anyways.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

She turns to the older man, “Jane” she says, “Jane Foster” 

Yondu smiles, “We are going to stop for the night” he says limping towards the exit doors, “Get some food while he rests”

Jane looks at Bucky and then back at the man, offering him a nod. Bucky’s wound is no longer swollen, the antidote she used already making affect, he needed the rest and Yondu wouldn’t leave them stranded in the desert since he wanted his pay. She reaches for the satchel – the gun and the dagger inside – and follows Yondu outside. The other cars are all parked already, the two big buses like the one she steps out from too, and Jane can see some of the Ravangers already made a pire to keep the people warm. She looks at the watch she had taken from Bucky’s wrist. They had traveled for about two hours and she didn’t feel tired despite having little to no sleep, when she looks at Yondu to ask where they were the man is gone. Jane stands awkwardly as people pass by her, some give her strange looks and others simply ignore her. 

“You with the man in the bus?” 

She turns. A woman raises an eyebrow at her, while she taps her heavy boots on the ground. Jane nods and she gestures her to follow. 

“I’m Aleta” The woman says, “You came with the man?”

“James” Jane answers nodding, “My name is Jane” she adds quickly.

“We weren’t expecting him to be accompanied until a few days ago so we didn’t have much time to get you clothes”

Aleta makes her way through the crowd at a fast pace, with the other people – loud and clumsy as they walked – making it hard to keep up. Jane can see a few men unloading boxes from one of the buses, the one with the number two painted on the side, containing food and bottles. Aleta stops and she bumps into her, when the woman turns with pressed lips Jane apologizes quietly.

“That is Bus 2” Aleta says, “Food mainly” She points at the other bus, “Bus 3 is weaponry and clothing and the one you came in is Bus 1, we use it to… Recover people from Arcadia and we had medical but out doctor got killed a few days ago”

Jane swallows, “Sorry to hear that”

Aleta’s lips quirk and she shrugs, “We are never sorry someone died, but happy that we served together”

A small group passing by them heard Aleta and they make a cheer, before they start singing a song familiar to Jane. We are the Champions, Jane’s mind supplies. Aleta chuckles and shakes her head fondly at the men. She starts walking again, and Jane walks behind her, keeping close to be able to hear what she’s saying. Jane feels like she should be writing down whatever comes out of her mouth, he hands almost itching to do so. She clenches her fists on each side of her body, feeling her nails dig into her palms.

“I apologize in advance for all the yelling and cheering” Aleta says, “We just came from Glassmere with a supply of Sweet Wine” 

Jane’s heart skip a beat, and her knuckles turn white. The older woman glances at her hands but doesn’t point it out.

“Here” She says, “Bus 2”

The bus inside is as spacious as the one she had left Bucky in, but there weren’t as many cots. There were several books and magazines scattered all over the floor, and piles of clothes and shoes, and like Aleta said, weapons. There were so many, some looked like parts of them, and Jane wonders why did they want Bucky’s gun if they had plenty already. Anyways, it was a mess. To Jane it looked like the place everything one lost ended up in. Aleta puts something against her chest, when she looks at it, it’s a duffel bag similar to Bucky’s and when she is about to thank her she hears a crash and Aleta sighs heavily, walking towards the end of the bus.

“Rocket!”

The young man she called Rocket couldn’t be more than 19, brown hair and eyes, not at all taller than Jane, steps out from behind a wooden wall that divided the bus. He’s wearing protective googles with a light attached to it and thick rubber gloves, a small device in his left hand and a screwdriver in the other one. When he sees Aleta, he leaves both on a table near him, and takes off the googles. Jane glances at Aleta. 

“I told you not to use that while on the road” The young man winces “wait until we stop for fuck’s sake” Aleta sighs.

Rocket purses his lips, “But Yondu said he wanted this working when-“ 

The older woman throws him a look a he stops talking, shoulder falling as he takes off his rubber gloves looking almost defeated, before wiping his hands on his shirt. He frowns when he sees Jane, like he just realised she was standing there. Aleta notices and raises an eyebrow at him. 

“This is Jane” Aleta says, “Jane, this is Rocket, our… Mechanic”

“Did not like that pause there” Rocket says, walking towards Jane, he offers his hand, “Nice to meet you, Miss” 

Jane shakes his hand, “Likewise” she offers a smile. 

Rocket smiles widely as he shakes her hand enthusiatically. Aleta clears her throat and Rocket lets Jane’s hand go, scratching the back of his head, blushing embarrased. Aleta tells him that Jane needed clothes, Rocket sighs and says something about not being in charge of that but doesn’t refuse helping. The older woman then turns to Jane and pats her shoulder telling her to find a woman named Mantis on Bus 2, the one she had pointed out to her a few minutes ago, after she is done and with that she leaves. As soon as the bus door closes, Rocket puts his googles on and continues tinkering with the device. Jane stands awkwardly before she clears her throat.

“Hm?” Rocket looks at her, “Oh, right! Just…” he glances around, “You can take what fits, Miss, whatever you’ll need”

“Anything?” Jane asks, looking around at the piles of clothes.

Rocket nods and goes back to his work. Jane nods and looks around, rummaging through the piles of clothes something that could fit her. she wasn’t sure if Aleta knew where they were going, if Coulson had told them anything really, but she understood they had already gotten Bucky everything he needed, still when she finds a worn black leather jacket similar to the one she ripped and a few other things that could fit him, she puts them inside the duffel back too. After she’s done, she turns to find Rocket splayed on a small cot and snoring loudly. Jane consider waking him up to announce she is leaving, walking towards him as quietly as possible, but when the young man moves slightly and then continues to snore, she regrets it. She sighs, and is about to leave when a small box next to Rocket’s cot calls her attention.

There are several clocks inside, some broken and some in good condition, but what she needs, she finds in the bottom of the box. An old silver compass in nearly mint condition. Jane wonders if Rocket repaired it or if it was found like that, but she doesn’t bother in asking the sleeping man, she puts the compass inside the satchel on her shoulder and smiles softly at Rocket, before leaving as quietly as possible. The cold air from the night hits her face, and she hugs herself, adjusting the heavy bag on her shoulder before walking towards the other Bus so she can find Mantis, and hopefully something to fill her stomach with.


	2. Desolation Row

The first spoonful of chicken soup tastes like heaven to Jane. She hums happily as she sinks her spoon into the mug for more, searching for pieces of chicken even though she was sures he had eaten them all. She had found Mantis – Who was as odd as her name – minutes after leaving Rocket’s bus, the woman had immediately given her a mug and poured soup in it, giving her a bottle of water and a slice of bread. Jane liked her, and not because she had fed her, but because she reminded her of Darcy. Darcy, who she will be seeing again soon. Mantis joined Jane in a spot near the warm fire minutes later, a bowl of soup for herself, and asked her if she liked reading. Minutes later, Jane is surrounded by Mantis and six other Ravangers, who listen closely to her story about the great Harry Potter and his adventures. Granted, it’s a very condensed version, since she didn’t think she had the time to share every detail, but they look enticed by her narration. Between gasps and cheers, Jane doesn’t realise she’s done until she pauses for a few seconds. Mantis’ already big eyes go wide, and she leans closer. 

“What happens next?” Mantis asks.

“Yeah, it can’t end like that” One man, Kraglin, adds. 

Jane sighs, “I don’t know” She shakes her head, “I don’t know how it ends, Sorry” 

Mantis pouts and Kraglin groans, standing as the other men do too. Jane drinks what’s left in her mug and looks at Mantis, who is the only one left after a few seconds, apologetically. Jane sets the mug aside, and opens the bottle of water, emptying it in seconds. She catches Yondu with the corner of her eye, making his way around the camp to make sure everything is in order. He’s the leader, she thinks, and Aleta must be his second in command by the way the other men addressed her and followed her orders. Yondu limps towards Aleta and they exchange a few words, catching Jane staring before she quickly looks back at her empty mug.

“You want more?” Mantis asks. 

Jane shakes her head, “No, thanks” she licks her lips, “Mantis what happened to Yondu?”

Mantis pauses mid-licking her spoon and tilts her head, looking confused by Jane’s question. Jane had seen Yondu limp, and it wouldn’t be so strange if she hadn’t caught the man grimacing a few times when he did, leaning slightly against every surface available when he wasn’t walking. 

“Why does he walk like that?” She asks again. 

Mantis giggles, “He now walks funny” She then goes serious, “We were attacked while leaving Glassmere” 

Jane frowns, “By Arcadia people” Mantis nods, “He got hurt?”

“Yes”

“We don’t have a doctor now but he says he’s fine, so…” Mantis shrugs. 

Jane looks back at Yondu, who is now alone. She turns to Mantis and tells her she’ll be back before she stands and makes her way towards Yondu. When the man sees her walking his way, he straightens and lifts his chin, but Jane can see he maintains his weight on his good leg. She notices a few men stare at her while she walks in their leader’s direction but she ignores them, clearing her throat when she’s infront of the older man.

“How are you finding the place?” Yondu asks. 

Jane nods, “It’s- I find it lovely” she answers, “Thank you for everything”

“Good, good, Aleta tells me you met Rocket at-“

“What happened to your leg?” Jane blurts out. 

The man waves a dismissive hand, “Job hazzard” 

“Did you break your leg?” 

“Nah” he shrugs, looking down at his feet “Stub my toe, ‘s all” 

Jane frowns, “Where did-“ 

Yondu looks to her with pursed lips, “If you want to see your friend he’s in the same place you left him” 

He points at the bus adjacent to them and then turns his back to Jane, before he starts walking away from her. Jane takes a deep breath and looks around, a few men were still staring at the exchange, and when Yondu whistles they look away, murmuring and chuckling softly, Jane sighs heavily narrowing her eyes at them before she follows the older man.

“You could have broken your toe” She says, walking at a hurried pace. 

“It’s fine, sweetheart, don’t mind it” 

“Look, if it’s the toe-“

“Leave my damn toe alone!” Yondu grunts turning to her, “It’s fine!”

Jane clenches her jaw, “then let me see” 

“No!” Yondu narrows his eyes. 

She crosses her arms, “It could be serious”

“Fine!” He exclaims throwing his arms on the air. 

Jane smiles to herself triumphantly and follows him as he limps towards a big rock behind him, sitting on it a he groans lowly. Yondu mutters several curses while taking off his heavy boot, wincing as he does, and when Jane sees his left toe she grimaces. Yondu looks at her and raises and eyebrow, before looking back at his feet. The finger is swollen, pointing at an awkward angle, almost dark purple and the nail is missing. Jane’s hand shoots out to touch his forehead, he tenses slightly. He’s warmer than he should be. 

“You have a fever” Jane tells him, “And your toe did break but you didn’t fix it on time” Yondu narrows his eye at he but she continues, “If you don’t… Cut it off, it can poison the blood and-“ 

“Fuck no!” Yondu yells, “You want- you want me to what?!” 

“I’m sorry” Jane says.

When he stops muttering, Jane can see his jaw working his teeth, nostrils flaring. He’s considering it, she realises and when he looks back at his feet and tries to move the toe, he realises he can’t, swallowing tightly and grunting lowly. Jane had read that when a small thing as a broken toes wasn’t fixed immediately, the bone could get infected then and it could poison the blood. If Yondu was in pain and had a fever, it the infection was starting but he still had time to amputate before the damage was irreversible.

“You do it” Yondu says. 

Jane tenses, “What?”

“We got no doctor no more”

“I can’t-“ 

“Yondu” They turn to find Aleta standing behind them, “What’s going on?”

Aleta crosses her arms and taps her feet on the ground looking at Yondu with a disapproving glance, Jane lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when the man flicks his tongue and waves a dismissive hand at the older woman. It’s an awkward exchange, she realises, Yondu might be the leader of the Ravangers but he valued Aleta’s opinion highly. Jane licks her lips and moves away from Yondu. When she moves, Aleta sees Yondu’s feet and grimaces.

“What the hell?”

Jane looks at Yondu and then back at Aleta. 

“He needs to have it cut off”

“She’s going to cut it off”

They say at unison.

Jane turns to Yondu and then back at Aleta, who is looking at her with an impressed look in her face. Jane then sighs heavily. She had seen the procedure during a medical course she took in Glassmere. While on a particularly savage winter, frostbitten toes were not a surprising thing to see, and they always had to cut the off. 

“I am” Jane nods.

 

* * *

 

Bucky opens his eyes as he jolts awake. The previous numbness in his limbs and tongue gone, but he still felt dizzy as he tries to focus his sight. A warm hand is on his shoulder and he put his hand over it, turning to look at Jane, but it isn’t Jane next to him. He releases the woman’s hand and scowls at her, who only looks at him curiously. She’s young, like Jane, and her eyes are big and round, almost too dark, too big pupils that glint when she smiles at him. He shuts his eyes and shakes his head, rubbing his temples with one hand. When he feels a sharp pain he looks at his left arm and sees it’s carefully bandaged, Jane’s doing, and he looks around to realise he’s in the same vehicle Yondu had dragged him into. A large bus.

“Are you alright?”

He turns to the woman, who’s eyebrows are knitted in concern. 

“Where- Where is the woman?” Bucky asks, “Jane”

“She’s fine, don’t worry” She smiles, “I’m Mantis”

Bucky’s brow furrows, “Mantis?” she nods, “I’m James”

Mantis glances at his bandaged wound and tilts her head. Bucky acomodates on the small cot he had been laying on and Mantis leans back, giving him space, before Bucky clears his throat. Mantis doesn’t seem to take the hint, he wants her to tell her where they are or something, anything really, but she only stares at him with wide curious eyes. He lets out a breath through his nose.

“Where are we? Are we outside of Arcadia?”

Mantis nods, “Very, very, _very_ far” she answers, “We are camping now, waiting for the sun to be out to recharge the solar panels on the buses, you are very handsome”

Bucky frowns, “Can you take me to Jane?”

“Sure” She reaches for something behind her, and gives it to him, “Clean clothes for you” 

He takes them hesitantly and nods at her, “Thank you”

An awkward silence falls upon them. And after a few seconds, he realises Mantis is not leaving, so he strips off his blood stained shirt and fast as the injury lets him and puts on the clean one. When he glances at Mantis she’s still _staring_ , a lot more evidently than Jane ever did, and he turns to reach for the belt Jane had taken from him, finding it under the seat. Once he’s dressed he leaves the bus, followed by Mantis, who grins at him when he steps outside and sees there are several more cars. Mantis takes him towards where a crowd has gather, and he sees a familiar nest of brown curls in the middle. He pushes past the crowd and calls Jane’s name, when Jane turns to him he, for the first time, pulls her into a tight embrace. Bucky pulls back almost immediately, feeling like he shouldn’t have done that but Jane doesn’t let go of him. He sees Yondu on a chair behind them, with a familiar bottle of blue tonic in one hand and a… severed toe in the other one. When he glances at Yondu’s foot, he sees it was carefully bandaged and then he turns to Jane. 

“Bucky” Jane calls, “Bucky, are you alright?” she asks, examining his face.

He nods, his thumb moving a strand of hair from her face. Bucky wants to lean in again and hug her, maybe kiss her, but they are interrupted by the crowd chanting Jane’s name as they start to walk away from the small circle they had formed. Jane blushes slightly before looking back at Yondu. 

“I cut off his toe” Jane says.

Bucky frowns, “What?” 

“He had an infection, it could kill him and there is no doctor so I cut it off myself” Her words were coming out in a rush, but he could still understand, “I gave him some Oxycon, sorry, but he could have died and cutting a toe off hurts and I cauterised it afterwards so-“ 

“Jane, Jane, I don’t care” His frown deepens, “It’s fine”

She takes a deep breath and releases it in a breathy laugh, “Sorry” 

Bucky realises he’s still cuping her face but he can’t bring himself to let her go. A small voice in his mind tells him that he will have to eventually, and it doesn’t mean in a few seconds. They were outside of Arcadia now, in a few days they will go to The Cinders and she would reunite with her sister, and then he will have to let her go to continue alone. Jane leans into his touch and lips quirking when Jane’s blush deepens, reaching to touch the bandaged arm.

“We are safe” Jane whispers, “You got us out”

And then the voice speaks again, this time to mock him for being so ridiculous to believe he’s actually in love with the woman looking back at him. Bucky nods and gives a step back, leaving Jane’s space before Yondu interrupts them clearing his throat, standing between them and waving his dead toe on Bucky’s face making him give a step back.

“Your girl saved my life” Yondu says.

“She’s not-“ 

“I’m not-“ 

They say at unison. 

Bucky looks at her and then at Yondu, who raises an eyebrow at him, almost disapprovingly, before he smiles at Jane and shrugs. A man behind him passes him a bottle, Yondu leaves his toe on the man’s hand and takes it, unscrewing the cap off with his teeth. He takes a long sip and then offers it to Jane, who raises a hand and refuses politely, Bucky does the same and they both wait for Yondu to take another long sip. When he’s done, he grins widely at Jane, offering her a wink before he reaches for her hand and kissing the back of it just slightly, the gesture makes Bucky roll his eyes but Jane doesn’t seem to mind, blushing when Yondu thanks her once again. Bucky glances around and his nose catches the smell of food, his stomach making an embarrassing sound he isn’t sure the other two heard until he realises they are looking at him. 

“We have food over there” Yondu says, “I gotta go lay down a bit”

“Try not to drink so much” Jane tells him.

And Yondu snorts looking at her and offering a shrug, Jane sighs and shakes her head softly as the man starts limping away with the help of one of his men. A woman appears behind them, and Bucky raises an eyebrow at her, when she reaches for Jane his hand shoots out and stops her. Jane turns and scowls at the exchange and Bucky lets her go, apologising under his breath. She introduces herself as Aleta, Yondu’s second in command, and tells them there’s still food in one of the trucks. He sees Jane yawn and Aleta turns to her. 

“You should go rest” Aleta says, “Tomorrow you will start a long journey”

Bucky wonders if Jane had told anyone about that. When Jane glances at him, he realises she wondered the same about him, so he remains silent. Jane finally nods and walks pass him, caressing his arm slightly before she leaves towards the bus he had woken up in, with a heavy looking duffle bag on her shoulder. He looks in her direction for a few seconds before he is finally able to tear his eyes from her. When he turns to the other woman, Aleta, she’s eyeing him somewhat suspiciously, eyes narrowed just slightly but enough for him to notice her action.

“Coulson tells me she was one of Aida’s-“

“Not anymore” Bucky cuts her off, he holds her gaze, “Did he say anything else?”

Aleta shakes her head, “No more than necessary” she answers, “Eat something, we’ll talk about the payment later” 

The woman leaves, not telling him where exactly can he get something to eat. Bucky starts walking aimlessly and remembers the gun had been left in Jane’s hand, she turns to go find Jane but finds Mantis behind him, with a big, bright smile and a bowl in her hands.

“I manages to scoop you this” Mantis says, leaving the bowl in his hands.

It’s warm, Bucky takes a deep breath in, it smells delicious and it makes his stomach make an embarrassing noise, which she hears but ignores. He nods and offers her a small thanks, when Mantis follows him as he finds a place to sit, he realises she’s not leaving him alone, so he makes sure to find a place they could both sit – in silence – while he eats his meal. The first meal he’s had in over eight hours. He sits near the fire, finding the night too cold, and Mantis sits right in front of him. Bucky wonders if she talks to anyone else, and when he glances around he realises she and Aleta are the only two women that are part of the Ravangers. The soup is good, lots of vegetables and sizeable pieces of chicken, Mantis reaches inside a brown bag she carries and leaves a bun of brean in his lap that he accepts gladly. He throws back the bowl and then wipes the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Are you and Aleta the only women here?” Bucky asks. 

Mantis nods her head, “We are an exception” she says, “But it’s because Yondu is in love with Aleta” 

Bucky looks at her unimpressed, “And what about you?”

The black pupils in her eyes seem to go even wider when Bucky looks at her. He can see the fire clearly reflected in them as if they were mirrors, She doesn’t blink as she stares at him like trying to figure if she should tell him or not. 

“I’m in love with Peter” She says.

Is not what he asked but she seems… Lunatic. 

“Peter?” Bucky asks instead.

Mantis nods, her face then morphs into a sad expression, “But he is gone” She blinks several times before she looks at him again, the sweet smile on her face back as she looks around. “He’s in Maraud”

Bucky glances at her, and then back at his bowl, “Why didn’t you go with him?” 

She sighs, “He left with the one he loves” 

Someone in the crowd a few feet from them call Mantis’ name. Bucky lifts his gaze to find a man signaling her to join them, he saw him before following Yondu around, so he asumes he must be his right hand. He feels Mantis’ hand over his before she stands and with small smile she leaves. The men from the crown, now joined by Aleta and Mantis start chanting again, and Bucky stares at them for a few seconds before continuing to eat by himself. 

The bowl on his hands is empty when he remembers the dream he had after drifting into unconciousness. His feet almost itch to stand, go to Jane, and tell her that he remembered Steve and what had happened the night he was taken from his home. He doesn’t, afraid that she might tell him it was a dream or a product of his imagination caused by the poison in his veins and the drug she had used to fight it off. He wants, he _needs_ to believe that it was real. Not a dream but a memory. He wants to be sure that he has something anchoring him to the place he was born in, and only then he will have a reason to go to Catalean other than… Delaying going to the Cinders, leaving Jane and then having to go alone to Maraud. Bucky shakes his head and leaves the bowl in the floor, next to his feet before he runs a hand through his hair and face, trying to scrub away the weariness.

“You should rest, James”

He looks up to find Aleta looking at him, there is something in her eyes, like she’s scanning his face for something. Bucky doesn’t let her, he stands and lifts his chin, before he nods and leaves towards the bus he arrived in. He hears Aleta chuckling, but doesn’t turn to her, instead walking at a fast pace towards a place he knows he will be able to rest. For now.


	3. Runaways

Jane doesn’t snore. Or moves at all while she sleeps, only breathing quietly as her chest moves up at down rhythmically. Bucky, despite being the early morning, doesn’t feel tired even though he hadn’t slept more than two hours after he finished his meal. He looks outside the widow, where he can see the rails of Horizon and the sun already peeking out in the distance. He turns to Jane, the thought of waking her up crossing his mind, but when he sees she’s still deep in sleep he doesn’t. He reaches for the music player, iPod Daisy had called it, next to the small pillow she was laying on, and untangles the cord around it taking the earphones to his ears. He can tell the small device is practically new, the life-long battery – which was very expensive – was fully functional, it was unscratched and in near perfect conditions.

There was still music playing, a song he doesn’t recognise, and he turns the volume up enjoying the melody. He is distracted when he reaches for a strand of Jane’s hair and brushes it off her forehead, when he realises what he’s doing he moves his hand away like she had burned him, but stares at her a while longer. There was nothing wrong with watching, he tells himself, but he knows it’s a bad idea since she could wake up, or someone could enter the bus at any moment. Still, his eyes travel from her face to her chest, where the shirt wasn’t all button up, and then lower where it was riding up, exposing her hip and part of her stomach. Jane’s skin looks soft to the touch, all over not just her abdomen, but her arms and neck too. He sighs and decides to wake Jane, they had a long road ahead and it would be better to drive with sunlight, he knew how to drive but he hadn’t had much practice. No that he would tell Jane that.

“Jane” Bucky shakes her shoulder softly, “Jane”

The woman stirs in her sleep just slightly. When Bucky’s about to call her name again, she opens one eye before the sunlight hits her and she covers them with one hand, her other hand reaching for something on the bed. Hi slips quirk, and he takes the earphones off and tangles the cord around the iPod.

“Here” 

Jane looks at him, leaning on one elbow, “What time is it?” she asks rubbing her left eye with the heel of her hand, while the other reaches for the iPod.

Bucky shrugs, “Early morning?” he looks outside the window, “There’s no much movement outside” 

Jane hums laying back on the thin matress again, taking the iPod to her chest. She yawns and stares at the roof for a few seconds, before glancing at Bucky, who remained silent while staring at her. Jane tilts her head and Bucky looks away. He hears rustling as Jane sits and reaches for her boots under the cot. When they are all tight up, Jane stretches on her seat and yawns, turning to Bucky finally and offering a smile. 

“We are ready to go?” She asks.

Bucky looks at the bag under feet and then secures his own on his shoulder before standing up, “Let’s go”

 

* * *

 

 

The sun is shinning bright above them, but it provides little warmth. The cold breeze from the north making it almost impossible for the sun to warm the sand so early in the morning. Jane inhales the cold air deeply, as she pulls from her shirt’s long sleeves looking north, knowing that winter was approaching and Glassmere must already be covered in snow. She hears someone calling her name and turns to find Mantis waving at her and Bucky, while she sits on the hood of a car. Jane had heard about solar powered cars, they were too rare thought, even harder to find than cars that worked with fuel, and when she turns to Bucky to tell him, the man is staring in Mantis’ direction. Bucky walks towards her and Jane follows, feeling the bag on her shoulder almost too heavy. When they finally reach the young woman, she grins at them widely, jumping off the hood of the car. 

“This is you car!” Mantis says.

“We have a car?” Jane looks at Bucky who simply nods.

How much exactly is the gun Bucky carries around worth? She wonders, but she doesn’t ask the man. it’s an old model, the car, but it looks in great shape. Not that Jane was an expert, like everything else she knew, she had read about it on books or heard it somewhere. Bucky does seem to know about the car even thought she doesn’t remember seeing a book about cars in the small library back in Arcadia. He opens the hood of the car, inspecting inside as he asks Mantis some questions she doesn’t pay attention to. 

Once again, Jane finds herself looking at Bucky’s shape. How the muscles on his arms shift as he raises the hood of the car, the shirt he was wearing looking almost too tight as it stretches across his torso. The black jeans ride low on his hips and the belt she had used for him to bite the day before doing not such a good job holding them up – Thankfully – the black jeans hugging his thick tights, and she sighs as her eyes travel up and down his body. Deep inside, Jane knew that she would have to conceal those thoughts. They would part ways eventually, Jane in the Cinders with Darcy and Bucky… She wasn’t sure yet if he wanted to stay in Catalean or if he would be leaving to the Freelands after all. Maybe he would do both, but it didn’t matter, they _will_ part ways eventually.

“Yondu didn’t want to give it up, but because Aleta is Melinda’s sister of course he agreed”

Jane’s brow furrows. Bucky glances at her as he closes the car’s hood and then looks back at Mantis. 

“They are so dumb” Mantis adds, sighing dramatically, “Everyone here knows they are in love with eachother”

Bucky chuckles, rounding the car as he inspects it for dents, at least that’s what Jane thinks he’s doing, until the opens the car’s back door and throws his black duffel bag inside. Mantis then stands next to Jane and takes the bag from her shoulder, smiling widely. Jane lets her and Mantis gives it to Bucky. 

“Let’s have breakfast!” Mantis says, “We have bacon today”

Mantis starts walking and Jane follows her. She feels Bucky’s hand on the lower part of her back, where her curls ended. Jane is pretty sure that Bucky doesn’t realise he’s doing it, because when she looks at him with the corner of his eye he’s looking around, so Jane leans into him more. Because of the cold – _beacuse of the cold, Jane_ – she doesn’t mind the proximity. There’s not many people awake when they reach the bus with food. Perhaps because the night before they stayed up celebrating… Something, drinking and chanting loudly. When Mantis serves them their breakfast, Bucky doesn’t wait to find a place to sit before he starts eating, and Jane chuckles at him as Mantis leads them to a small tent Jane hasn’t seen the night before, where Bucky sits and continues eating without saying a word. 

“I have to go wake Kraglin” Mantis announces, “It’s his turn to wake the boss”

When Bucky doesn’t say anything Jane nods, “Sure” she says, “Thanks, Mantis” 

Mantis smiles widely. Bucky turns and offers her a nod. 

“Man of few words this one” Mantis grins before patting his back and leaving.

Jane looks at her until she leaves, before looking back at her plate. Eggs, oatmeal, toast and bacon as promised, milk to drown it all, like Bucky seemed to be doing. She wonders if the Ravangers had gotten any of that from Glassmere, remembering that Yondu had mentioned her home before.

“What?” Bucky asks.

“Nothing” Jane shakes her head, “Just…” she looks at Bucky, “nothing” 

She reaches for her toast at takes a bite off it, chewing slowly while she looks around.

“I didn’t thank you”

Jane looks at Bucky. 

“For yesterday” He continues, “Coming back for me and then- The… Thing” he gestures his arm. 

When Jane doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, Bucky shifts on his seat awkwardly. Jane wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to thank her after everything he has done for her, of course she came back for him just like he had done for her, but it doesn’t come out.

“You’re welcome” Comes out instead, and Bucky’s eyes find hers, “I…” she trails off, “We are going to be traveling Desolation”

He nods. 

“Just know… That I have your back” Jane finally says.

Bucky’s lips quirk upwards, a hint of a smile that Jane catches, since it’s not something he does often. He opens his mouth to says something, but is interrupted when someone drops a plate next to Jane and she turns to find Rocket, the young man from the night before, sitting next to her with a scowl in his face while he mutters something under his breath. Jane only catches the last part, which is something about apples, before the man stuffs his mouth like Bucky had done. Jane glances at Bucky, who raises an eyebrow at the newly seated man. Rocket stops mid-chew and his eyes shift between him and Jane several times.

“Who are you?” He asks.

“James Barnes” Bucky answers, “Coulson’s friend” 

“Ah” Rocket looks at Jane, “You were in my bus last night, Miss” 

She sees Bucky frown.

“Yes” Jane nods, “Aleta took me there to look for-” 

Rockets waves a dismissive hand, “It’s suppose to be my bus, I repair everything and they still dump everything in there, so disrespectful, after all the work I do for them” He shakes his head, taking a spoonful of oatmeal to his mouth, “They don’t value me here, Miss”

Jane looks at him apologetically before glancing at Bucky, who is chewing slowly while he stares at Rocket.

“Is this your husband, Miss?” Rocket looks at him. 

Bucky shakes his head, “I’m not-“

“Your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend, Miss?”

Jane shakes her head, “No, I don’t, Rocket” she says, “He’s my…” Jane glances at Bucky, “Bucky”

Rocket raises an eyebrow, “And what’s a Bucky for?”

Bucky chuckles, “Traveling companion”

“Traveling companion” Jane nods, smiling at the man.

When they both turn to Rocket, the young man is frowning at them, spoon almost falling from his mouth as his eye shift from Jane to Bucky. He takes the spoon and points at them with it. 

“Where are you traveling?” He asks, eyes narrowed.

“Away” Bucky says.

Rocket tilts his head, “You aren’t very talkative, aren’t you?” he turns to Jane, “He is not talkative” 

“He isn’t” Jane agrees, and Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“She does the talking for the both of us” Bucky says. 

Jane opens her mouth but nothing comes out, and when Bucky smirks she rolls her eyes, before a smile threatens to leave her lips.

Rocket shrugs, “Too much sexual tension” he mutters

“What” Bucky deadpans.

“Excuse me?” Jane almost chokes on her oatmeal.

Rocket looks at them and sighs deeply, before standing from the table, taking his tray with him.

“You are making me very uncomfortable” He says, shaking his head before leaving.

Jane scoffs, “ _We_ are making _you_ -“ 

But Rocket is already to far for him to hear her. Jane purses her lips and turns to her breakfast. She can feel the heat rising to her cheeks, and it has nothing to do with the sun shinning bright above them. Bucky continues eating, ignoring Jane’s flustered state. He’s good at that, Jane realises, and wonders if he had notice every single time she had felt embarrassed and decided to ignore it. If so, she’s thankful for it. 

“Aleta told me that we should travel north” Bucky says, breaking the silence. 

Jane looks at him. If they travel north they would avoid passing Arcadia, which might be too dangerous anyways. But going north would mean they had to go through Glassmere first, Jane wants to say that’s three more days of travel – although deep inside she knows is because she doesn’t want to go back to her former home.

“Jane?” Bucky frowns at her, “Do you-“ 

“North it is”

“If you don’t think is better…” He trails off.

Jane shakes her head, “She’s right” Bucky raises an eyebrow, “It’s the longest way to Catalean but the safest one” 

The man nods, eyeing her almost suspiciously. Jane has the feeling he knows why she hesitated, but when he doesn’t say anything and continues eating she thinks that maybe Bucky doesn’t try to read her as much as she has done him. Jane isn’t as interesting as she might have thought once she was, or wanted to be after all. 

“It must be snowing” Jane says quietly, and Bucky’s ears seem to perk up, “In Glassmere”

“Will that be a problem?” He ask, playing with the leftovers in his plate. 

“No” She shrugs, “Winter isn’t as unforgiving as everyone thinks”

Bucky lifts his gaze. The small wrinkle between his eyebrows reappearing as he looks like Jane said something she shouldn’t have, or that he wasn’t expecting her to say. Jane remembers Bucky said people called him the Winter Soldier, perhaps he had being reminded of it. 

“Mantis tells me you are packed and ready to go”

Yondu stands behind Bucky, putting his hands on his shoulders. Bucky sighs deeply and shrugs him off, Jane knows he hates to be touched without his permission, but the fact that he looks more annoyed than upset makes her chuckle as she nods at Yondu. 

“You done here?” He asks.

Bucky pushes the tray of food away and looks at him, nodding. Jane does the same and stands up, followed by Bucky.

 

* * *

 

 

Yondu starts walking towards the car, still limping but no longer looking uncomfortable as he leans into a cane. Bucky can see his men are already waking up, a few of them already making a line to be fed and others leaving the buses and other cars as the yawn.

“It’s solar powered as promised” Yondu explains, and when they finally reach the car he leans into it, “ and full of provisions, you have enough dry meat, water and canned vegetables for over a week” 

Bucky hesitates, “We didn’t-“

Yondu waves a dismissive hand, “Consider it a thanks for this marvellous lady saving my life” he points at his feet, “My crew wouldn’t know what to do without me” he adds with a grin and a wink. 

Bucky turns to Jane, who smiles widely, blushing at the compliment so slightly, that if it wasn’t for her fair complexion, and because he had seen her do it before, he wouldn’t be able to notice. A smile tugs from Bucky’s lips. Kraglin, who Bucky thought was Yondu’s second in command, approaches them, a wooden box in his hands. He and Yondu exchange a few hushed words, before the older man looks at him.

“So…” Yondu clears his throat.

Bucky walks pass him and takes the satchel bag that Jane still had off her shoulder, reaching for the gun. When Bucky sees the gold dagger he had stabbed Zola with – and Zola had cut him with – Jane looks at him apologetically, but he zips the bag and nods slightly.

“Keep it” He whispers and she nods, “You can go to the car”

“Yeah, okay” Jane whispers back.

Bucky turns to Yondu again, “I have the… Payment” he glances at the other man. 

Yondu gestures him to take the gun, “Kraglin”

The man, Kraglin nods, walking towards Bucky. Jane walks towards the car, leaving against the passenger door and looking at Bucky with a furrowed brow, Bucky nods at her not to worry, and she takes a deep breath before turning her eyes to the iPod Daisy had given her. When Bucky looks at Yondu and Kraglin, they are whispering to eachother again and he clears his throat, brow furrowed. Yondu looks at him and Kraglin stammers an apology before he strides towards one of the buses.

Bucky follows him with his eyes, “Everything alright?” he turns to Yondu.

The man walks with the cane towards him, “I tell you what,” he reaches inside the front pocket of his jacket. 

Yondu then pulls out two gold incisors, the ones he had ripped out of Zola’s mouth, and shows them to Bucky. The sun was already out, and the small gold pieces reflected the light brightly, moving as Yondu rolled them around in his palm. Bucky glances at Jane, who is not paying attention, before he looks back at Yondu. 

“These look to me like two tickets out of Arcadia”

Bucky frowns at him, “What about the-“ 

Yondu pushes the wooden box against his chest. Bucky looks at him suspiciously before he accepts it hesitantly, opening it slowly.

His frown deepens, “Bullets” Bucky says, looking up at Yondu.

“You oughta protect yourself out there” Yondu shrugs, “And the lady” 

Bucky looks at Jane, who lifts up her gaze and tilting her head when she finds him staring. He licks his lips and turns to Yondu, who simply shrugs.

“Thank you” Bucky says, “I-“ 

“May told me a whole bunch about you, boy” Yondu says, clapping his shoulder, “I’m glad she wasn’t just making up shit” 

A frown crosses Bucky’s features. Yondu doesn’t say anything else, instead he turns and offers Jane a two finger salute, Jane smiles and waves goodbye at the man, and Yondu turns and walks away from them. Bucky looks at the box of bullets before he closes it and walks towards the car, where Jane opens the door and climbs inside. Bucky throws once last glance at Yondu, who was walking towards Kraglin and Mantis. Aleta catches his eye and the woman nods at him, he returns the gesture politely and turns, walking towards the car.

When he’s in the drivers seat he looks at Jane. The woman was holding his iPod and had a book in her lap. He is about to make some remark about it but she talks first.

“What did he say?” Jane asks.

He shurgs, “Good luck”

She eyes him suspiciously but ignores it nevertheless. And his lips quirk upwards when Jane looks at the rails of Horizon, the large train that crossed the five colonies and her lips curve upwards slightly. Bucky then turns the car engine on and Jane looks at him, accommodating on her seat to open the old map she had drawn on before.

“North” Jane says.

Bucky nods, “Point the way”

Jane pulls out a small silver pocket-watch from her satchel. When she opens the cap he realises is not a watch, it’s a compass, and he looks at her with a questioning look. Jane puts it in the dashboard infront of him and Bucky sees the small arrow pointing north, where Glassmere, Jane’s home and their first stop awaited them. Jane leans back into her seat and Bucky nods to himself. It would be a very long ride, And he didn’t have a problem with it.


	4. Driving Lessons

Jane looks lost in thought. Bucky notices, as he glances at her several times with the corner of his eye. She sits with her feet on the dashboard – despite Bucky telling her not to several times already – as she stares outside the window, the small book she had been before reading long forgotten in the floor, and the earphones loud enough for him to hear the music playing on the iPod that remains in her lap. Bucky has been driving for four days now, stopping only to eat three meals, and to sleep once. The other times they did were to pee which Jane was reluctant to do at first, she was more embarrassed about it than anything else, thing that Bucky didn’t realise at the time, but after an argument – which ended with Bucky mocking her and saying she was acting like a petulant child, and Jane slamming the car’s door close as she left the car – they decided to move pass it (meaning Jane didn’t mention it, and Bucky didn’t apologised). As they moved north, he could start feeling the chill of the winds of winter during the nights, which he supposed had already started, but the sun bright and hot above them during the days made him feel warm enough as they drove.

He didn’t like the cold, he had gotten used to the warm temperatures of Arcadia and the hot permanent summer in Catalean, the night before he had woken up several times and not only because of the cold, but because Jane, who was laying on the backseat while slept on the passenger’s seat, was talking in her sleep and it was like she was having a nightmare.

Jane on the other hand seemed to be fine with the low temperatures, she had stripped off the long-sleeve shirt she had been wearing, staying in a thin cotton shirt. He swallows looking at her throat and collarbone as Jane plays distractingly with the earphones cord, eyes glued outside the window. He wants to say something, make conversation but can’t think of anything. Bucky had figured that they would be spending a lot of time together of course, and the car wasn’t like his room in Arcadia, where he could run outside if he didn’t feel like talking to her. He sighs heavily as he feels a sheen of  cold sweat cover his back, and begins to shrug the thick leather jacket off – the one Jane had gotten from him since the other one had been shredded to pieces – without taking his left hand off the steering wheel, throwing it in the backseat afterwards. With the corner of his eyes he catches Jane staring at him, a grimace on her face.

“I should take care of that” She says. 

Jane points at his arm, where the wound is bleeding through the bandage. He takes a deep breath and thinks about shrugging it off but after a few seconds nods, knowing that if he refuses Jane would only insist. A quality of hers that didn’t contrast well with his short-tempered nature. He starts slowing the car until it comes to a full stop while Jane reaches for the medical kit in the backseat.

She kneels on the seat and opens the kit, “Does it hurt?” 

“No” He answers, “It sort of… Itches”

Jane nods as she begins to peel off the gauze covering the cut. He hadn’t seen it – but it had hurt like it was bone deep – And he doesn’t want to either so he tries focusing his sight on something else, and he ends up looking at the top of Jane’s head, as she _does_ look at the wound closely.

“It’s healing nicely” A small frown crosses her features, “ _Very_ fast too”

“I’m a fast healer” He says absentmindedly, paying more attention at sweat droplets on her forehead. 

Jane hums, “It will leave a scar” she continues, cleaning the wound with medical precision. 

“Yet another one”

“Scars are just another kind of memory” She says quietly, and then it’s like she realises she said it out loud bites her bottom lip, “Sorry” 

Bucky chuckles, “You apologize too much” 

“It’s a reflex” Jane retorts.

“So you don’t really mean it” He looks at her frown. 

She lifts her gaze, “Maybe” Bucky’s lips quirk, “You shouldn’t move it too much” she goes back to talking about the cut.

Bucky takes a deep breath as Jane starts wrapping his arm again, he could do it himself, but he admits to himself that he likes feeling Jane’s hands on him, he shakes the thought away and looks outside the window. There is nothing outside but more desert, a few mountains in the distance. 

“How much longer we have to drive?”

“Not long” Jane answers, “Is that too tight?” 

He shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the horizon. Truth was, he worried they were going in the wrong direction. As if she can read the concern in his face, Jane reaches for the compass left in the dashboard, and stares at if for a few seconds, before she closes it and throws it in the back of the car. He frowns.

“Unless” She begins, Bucky glances at her, “Unless we take turns driving” 

Bucky doesn’t know why, but a snort leads to a sonorous laugh that bubbles out of his chest and that he can’t control. When he turns to Jane, the woman is bitting her bottom lip, clearly trying not to smile as she raises an eyebrow at him, before she rolls her eyes. 

“I mean it” Jane says, “If we make fewer stops we will be there by tomorrow, I promise” 

He glances at her and then back at the road ahead. He knows she’s right, besides he isn’t sure there’s enough provisions for them to last over a week and he too wanted to get to Glassmere, so they could leave as fast as possible. Bucky scratches his chin.

"Bucky" Jane says.

Bucky unlocks the door and opens it, stepping out of the driver’s seat. Jane stays inside the car, following him with her eyes, a confused look still in her face as he stretches his legs. He ignores her gaze on him, and looks around taking a deep breath. the cold wind of the outside and the sun, almost too bright, make him realise how tired he actually is.

When he opens the passenger’s door, Jane stares at him. 

“Move” Bucky says, glancing around. 

Jane can’t help the smile that pulls from her lips, “Really?” Bucky nods once.

She moves to the driver’s seat as Bucky enters the car again taking a deep breath. Jane takes her boots off for some reason, and when he raises a questioning eyebrow she ignores him.

“Do you know-“

“Yes” Jane cuts him off, her feet jumping up and down in excitement, “Can we put music on?”

Bucky looks at her and shrugs, “Sure” he sees the iPod on Jane’s lap and takes it before she reaches for it, “How…” 

Jane presses a button in the dashboard. 

“Synchronise device one” Jane says loudly, like she’s talking to the car. 

A robotic voice coming from the speakers repeats her words and then the iPod in his hands chirps and vibrates. Bucky looks at her with a raised eyebrow and Jane reaches for the book between his feet.

“The instruction manual” Jane explains. 

Bucky can help but smile softly at her, picking up the book. It was a notebook actually, someone had written the tricks and tics of the car, probably Yondu or that Rocket kid and Jane had gone through all of it already. Jane takes the iPod from his lap and presses the screen until music comes out from the speakers. Before he can ask about it, Jane steps on the accelerator, making him curse. Despite Jane obviously having control of the car, he feels the need to tell her to slow down, and she seems to notice. 

“I know how to drive” Jane rolls her eyes. 

“Of course you do” Bucky licks his lips.

“I told you we had cars in Glassmere” 

Bucky accommodates on the seat, “You also said you had horses, you planning on riding one of those to impress me too?”

Jane doesn’t take her eyes off the road, but he can see her dimple at him and he feels a small tug on his lips. He flips the pages of the instructions manual for a few seconds, before looking at Jane again. 

“Are there any animals in Desolation other than mosquitoes and snakes?"

Scorpions, lizards, and the damn mosquitoes were all he had encountered so far.

“I think so” Jane answers, “I imagine in the second Ring” 

Bucky shifts in the seat, “What do you mean?” 

“Take out the map” Jane instructs. 

Bucky reaches for his bag, looking for the old map where Jane had drawn the New World for him. He takes the marker too, and then sits back, accommodating on the seat before spreading the map across the dashboard. He can see the circle she had drawn, where the five colonies were. 

“You know the colonies and Desolation” Jane starts. 

“Alright” Bucky nods.

“Now, She says, “Desolation has three areas”

“Like Arcadia” 

“Kind of, yes” Jane nods, “The first one is the desert we are driving through right now called Desolation, then there’s a second Ring called The Green”

“The Green?”

“It’s… Trees and forests, there’s suppose to be a lot of wildlife there” Jane explains, “I’ve never see it, but… My father always said that people got lost because animals ate them” 

Bucky grimaces, “Sounds...” 

“Terrifying” Jane says, “But he always said that the Abyss is worse” 

Bucky knew that he would pass by it at some point, after all it was the only way to get to Maraud – Although Jane might know another way – which was the reason not many people tried to reach it. When the war started, bombs were dropped in every city, but it was Jericho what really destroyed the country. The atomic bomb started the nuclear war that almost ended the rest of the world too. It is said that took years for the skies to clear afterwards, remaining angry red all that time, and no snow or rain fell from the sky, only ash.

Jane continues, “The call the area that surround the Abyss-“ 

“Ash Valley” Bucky says. 

“Ash Valley” Jane nods, “The only way to get to the Freelands would be to round it” 

Bucky looks at her, “All of this” he makes a circular motion with his finger and Jane bites her lip before nodding, “Shit”

Jane lets out a small sigh. 

“I don’t think anyone has ever _seen_ the Abyss” she continues, “It’s suppose to be a crater miles and miles deep” 

Bucky looks at her, “I rather not find out if that’s true” 

He sees her nod, and then he takes his eyes off her. Bucky decides to let her focus on driving, talking seemed to be a distraction even though – He admitted to himself – he would enjoy continuing the conversation with Jane. Desolation seems to be infinite, and he wonders if they would be able to see the ocean anytime soon, he knows that ocean surrounds the continent, but he didn’t know if in other colonies they were as close to it as they were in Catalean. Glassmere couldn’t be, and if there was it must be frozen ice.

“Did you ever see the ocean?” 

Jane turns to him and then back at the road. 

“No” She answers, “A frozen lake is the nearest thing I’ve seen” 

Bucky hums.

“Have you ever seen snow?” Jane asks, “Sorry” she adds apologetically. 

He stares. Bucky knows she’s apologizing since it’s obvious he hasn’t, he lived all his adult life within the walls of Arcadia. He doesn’t say anything, shrugging instead and turning his eyes to the road. He wants to tells her about the ocean, the sand and the smell of salt, but he doesn’t, they will go to Catalean together and she will be able to see it for herself. 

He doesn’t say that either.

 

* * *

 

For a second there, Jane thought Bucky would continue talking. They hadn’t being able to have an actual conversation so far, except for that one that ended in an argument, and that was about either her being spoiled or public urination, two things she really, _really_ never wants to talk to him about again. Unless he does so to _apologise_. Jane keeps her eyes on the road, the compass long forgotten since she now knows where they are going. In the distance she can see the familiar mountains that were visible from her home, the dark blue formations with white peaks, and she grips the steering wheel wondering what will be left from Glassmere.

Bucky throws the leather jacket he was wearing in the backseat, trying to get comfortable in his seat. Jane licks her lips, thinking about a way to keep the conversation flowing casually. 

“Her voice is so beautiful”

“Mm?” Bucky looks at her, then at the iPod, “never heard it before”

Jane tilts her head, “What kind of music do you like?” 

Bucky seems to consider it for a second, and then he stays silent a while longer. As far as she understands he doesn’t remember much about his life in Catalean when he was a child, and his adult life he spent in Arcadia. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t been able to pick up hobbies, or didn’t have a favourite song or book. Bucky scratches his jaw, where she noticed the days old stubble, and then she ends up wondering how will he look in a few weeks when he has a beard. She bites the inside of her cheek.

“Coulson played a lot of rock in his bar” Bucky starts, “I liked it” 

Jane wants to stare at him longer, but her eyes shift from him to the road.

“Although if it’s all I’ve heard I don’t think it counts” He adds a beat later.

“Well, there are over a thousand songs in that iPod and we have a long road ahead” Jane smiles soflty, “Perhaps you will pick up a taste”

Bucky nods and chuckles, more to himself, and then runs a hand through his hair and face, shaking his head softly. Jane wants to ask if he is alright, but Bucky then yawns unexpectedly and she realises how tired he looks. She didn’t get a good night of sleep, and she should feel as tired as he looks – and probably is – but she feels excited for some reason, perhaps the mountains ahead indicating how close she is to home.

“Those mountains look closer” Bucky says, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Jane looks at them, “Yeah” she clears her throat, “Yes” she says louder this time, “I used to be able to see them from my bedroom”

Bucky looks at her.

“I knew Solstice started when the peaks where touched by the three stars of Orion’s belt” Jane continues, she raises her hand and points at the three mountains one by one from left to right, “Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka”

“How can you even remember that?” Bucky chuckles.

Jane smiles and shrugs, “I used to spend a lot of time reading” she says, but doesn’t say anything else in fear of sounding like she was a lonely girl. 

And she was. Apart from Darcy, she didn’t have any other close friends. Her father, Julia and Darcy were her only family. Jane tries making a comparison between them and the three mountains ahead of her, but all she comes up with is that they were home, and well, that was enough. But the mountains were there and they were gone, a voice inside supplies, and her eyes blur with tears that she fights hard to contain. And if only she could distract herself with the road, she thinks, but she’s knows it will take her back to an empty home. So she tries to distract herself with the song that is still playing, but when she does she regrets it too.

 

_Who'll take all your pain,_

_Honey, your heartache, too?_

_And if you need me, you know_

_That I'll always be around if you ever want me_

_Come on and cry, cry baby, cry baby…_

 

So Jane lets out a breathy laugh instead, at how everything from the road to her memories, to the song playing on the radio seem to mock her pain. And she forgets for a moment that she’s not alone, until she feels a warm hand over hers, gripping the steering wheel as she turns to face him. Bucky’s blue eyes bury into her own, Jane can’t bear it for now, so she looks away, wiping her cheeks with the back of the hand that was covered by his a few seconds ago.

“I’m sorry” Jane apologises.

“Don’t-“

“It’s this stupid song, it’s so-” She reaches for the control panel and taps the screen a few times, until the music changes to a different more upbeat one, “Sorry” 

“Don’t apologise” Bucky looks outside the window considering for a second, then back at her, “I don’t know- I never asked about what exactly happened to you when they took you” he says, “I just know it was not long ago and it must- I imagine you must feel… I can’t imagine how you feel”

He looks at her almost apologetically. 

Bucky is a man a very few words, it wasn’t hard to figure that out, but whenever he felt like talking he _talked_. The words are said in soft-spoken tone, the one he tends to use whenever he speaks to her about something important, and Jane likes it, she realises as she finds herself wishing he continued talking. Finding confort in Bucky wasn’t a good idea, at least she thought it wasn’t, but then he talked to her like that, and looked at her with those blue eyes and she thought it was the only way she would want to get any comfort at all. For now, it was just the two of them, later it would only be her. Much, much later, and the thought truly terrified her, so when Bucky stays quiet again, she slows down the car until it completely stops. Before Bucky asks what is happening, she pulls him in for a hug. The position she is in is uncomfortable but Bucky returns the embrace a few seconds later, so she forgets about it. 

“Why is this for?” Bucky asks.

Whether it was an honest question or he was just trying to lighten the mood she isn’t sure, but she chuckles and pulls back, wiping her cheeks. Bucky smiles softly, almost in a shy manner and Jane smiles back at him. 

“You should rest” 

Bucky blinks several times and then nods, “Yeah”

“I’ll…” Jane turns the engine again, “I’ll takes us there”

 

* * *

 

His forehead feels cool against the glass window as he comes back to reality slowly. When he opens his eyes there’s a faint light above him and it takes him a few seconds to realise it’s actually the moon, it’s dark outside and there are no clouds so he can see the starts clearly. Bucky lets out a yawn, and a hand shakes his shoulder softly. When he moves, the jacket over him slides down his body and he clutches it tightly, letting out a sigh that make the window fogs. He doesn’t remember taking his jacket from the backseat so Jane must have covered him at some point. 

“Bucky” Jane calls, shaking his shoulder, “Hey, Bucky” 

“Mm” He hums, wiping the drool on the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Are you awake?”

He almosts rolls his eyes, “I am now”

He hears her shuffle next to him, and then the roof light is being turn on. Bucky curses under his breath and covers his eyes, next to him Jane lets out a breathy chuckle. 

“I want you to see something” She says, her voice barely above a whisper.

When he finally looks to her, her face is close to his, and he frowns before offering her a nod. The car is not moving, he realises, and Jane is moving to the backseat to search for something inside her bag. Jane throws him a jacket, a winter coat, thicker than the leather one in his hand and then gets one for herself. Bucky looks at it and then outside the window as he puts it on.

“Where are we?” He asks, looking for the mountains he had seen that afternoon. Or the day before, he isn’t sure how long he slept.

Jane simply says, “Outside” turning the light off and opening the car’s door. 

Bucky presses his lips but follows her nevertheless. 

“Fucking-“ He mutters when the cold air hits his face. 

It’s not just chilly, it’s freezing, terribly so. A kind of cold he had never felt before, it took over him seeping through his skin and freezing his bones. He knows now why Jane had gotten him the winter coat, obviously, what he doesn’t understand is why would she stop in the middle of Desolation for them to… He sighs heavily and turns looking for her in the dark. Jane’s hand finds his and she tugs from it, making him walk a few steps, his eyes get used to the dark seconds later and he can finally recognise her features, she points ahead. 

“See?”

His gaze follows. Three mountains. Three white peaks. Three shinny stars above them but not quite yet touching them. Right ahead he could also see the faint lights of what he knew was Glassmere. He hadn’t realised he was standing not on dirt, but on white snow. He turns to Jane, who is zipping up her coat.

“We can’t go through the main road” Jane starts, she points left, “I figure if Pierce’s men are there they would…” She trails off.

“You know another way in” It’s not a question.

She nods, “There was a spot some used to leave the colony and go ice fishing, since not many people did that not many knew about it, over there” 

The spot she points at is completely dark, hidden between the frozen woods but barely a hundred feet from what seemed to be the citadel. 

Bucky licks his lips, “And you know because…?”

“Darcy took me to a gathering once” 

“An ice fishing gathering?” Bucky raises an eyebrow, and he sees Jane getting closer to him, for warmth perhaps, so he does too. 

Jane narrows her eyes playfully, “More like a ‘we stole some sweet wine and that means party’ kind of gathering” she chuckles, condensation leaves her mouth, “Darcy took me”

He nods, looking around while he tried to warm up his hands in vain. The car is a few feet from them but Jane makes no sign of moving, and when a strange wind blows their way, and it’s so cold that it feels like a slap in the face, Bucky turns to Jane. 

“It’s freezing out here” He says, “Is there-"

“Hush” Jane says, taking her finger to her lips.

He purses his lips, and when he is about to ask Jane if he can go back to the car he hears something in the distance. A howling. Jane turns, and he knows she heard it too. 

“Wolves” She looks at him, “They move around during winter, leave the colony for a while” she smiles softly. 

Bucky nods, “Is that what you wanted to show-“ 

“Look” Jane points at the sky. 

Bucky looks upwards but doesn’t see anything, “What are we looking at?” he asks, and he’s annoyed, “Look, I’m freezing and-“

And then he sees it. In Jane’s hair and dark coat. He reaches for her sleeve, and realises his coat is also dusted with white.

“It’s snowing” Bucky whispers dumbly, opening his palms as if trying to catch the snow that had started falling all of sudden.

Jane looks at him and smiles brightly. Bucky looks at her and then takes his eyes off her, looking at the snowflakes falling in his hand. It was almost as if Jane knew exactly when it was going to start snowing, but he doesn’t say anything. There are snowflakes trapped in her eyelashes, and he gives a step back realising he’s too close to her. Jane looks at him and she is also rubbing her hands together for warmth, when she sees him staring, she puts her hands inside the coat pockets and shrugs, looking back at the colony ahead.

“I thought I would come back and this would be buried in snow” Jane bites her bottom lip, “I think it barely started snowing one or two days ago” 

“Is that bad?” Bucky asks. 

Jane looks at him, “As long as we stay away from the lake” she chuckles almost sadly, “The ice still thin” she shrugs.

He nods slowly.

“I’m hungry” Jane says suddenly.

Bucky doesn’t say anything, but his stomach agrees making an embarrasing sound tha the hopes Jane didn’t catch. They walk towards the car, and when they lock themselves inside he’s grateful for how warm it feels. They have enough food rations for four more days, enough to make it to Catalean or at least he thinks so, truth was he didn’t want to stay too long in Glassmere, not only because of the cold, but because Jane seemed… Gloomy, and they weren’t even there yet. 

“Do you want to sleep here?” 

He blinks several times being pulled out of his thoughs, “Huh?”

Jane frowns, “We could sleep here and go to Glassmere in the morning” she repeats, “The car’s got enough energy for the heater to be on all night, then we charge it in the morning” 

Bucky licks his lips and nods, looking around to figure how they could sleep in the car. Jane hums, he wouldn’t need much sleep since he felt rested enough, even if Jane didn’t want or didn’t think it was necessary he would keep guard. He continues chewing the meal in silence as Jane who already finished eating – two meals instead of one – toyed with the iPod.

“What are you doing?” He asks. 

Jane looks at him, “I’m making you a playlist” he frowns, “A list of songs I think you would like” she chuckles, “I imagine you won’t sleep much, right?” she adds, and he looks down at his meal with a nod, “Here”

Bucky takes the iPod from her hands. Jane yawns and throws her coat in the backseat, moving there herself afterwards. He tries not looking at her much, since she was putting on a long-sleeve shirt and it seemed like he was peeking. When she finally stops moving, finding a comfortable position she sighs. 

“Talk to me”

“What?”

Jane looks at him, “Bucky, you don’t talk much” she says, turning her body to him, “It makes me kind of tired of hearing my own voice” 

Bucky chuckles, “That makes two of us” Jane barks out a laugh and his lips quirk upwards.

“Snark” Jane says, “I like it, you should use it more often” the last part of the sentence is mixed with a yawn. 

Bucky leans back on his seat leaving the empty can of food in the cupholder between the seats, “Just go rest” he says, not knowing what else to say. 

“But tomorrow we talk… Anything”

He looks at her and she smiles softly, but her eyes are already closed. Bucky makes an agreement noise. It doesn’t take much for Jane to falls asleep, he stares at her for a few seconds and then outside, where the snow started falling like heavy rain. He sighs, and runs a hand through his face and hair, eyes falling on the iPod in his lap. He puts the earphones in and plays the first song.


	5. The Snow Queen

When Jane opens her eyes Bucky is asleep in the front seat. She stretches her legs as much as she can before sitting, being as silent as possible as she does. The windows are completely covered by snow and Jane purses her lips because she knows now that she underestimated the snow storm the night before, and then curses because she needs to pee. Jane glances at Bucky and reaches for the front seat, reaching for the iPod to distract herself while Bucky slept for a few more minutes. She looks at the screen panel in the dashboard and sees they are low on energy but the sun was already coming out anyways. She tries taking the iPod from Bucky’s hands but the man starts to stir awake, gripping her wrist before his eyes are even open. 

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, and when she looks at him he’s frowning. 

“Looking for this” Jane answers, looking at his lap where she had the iPod in her hands, “I… We are kind of snowed in” she explains, “And I need to pee” She mutters.

Bucky lets her take the iPod and looks around, yawning as he rubs his eye with the back of his hand, then he pauses realising what Jane just said – Not the needing to pee, the part where she said they were trapped inside the car. Jane leans back on the backseat and puts the earphone in her ears, trying to ignore the pressure her lower abdomen. _In a few more minutes the sun will be out and the panels can start charging_ , she tells herself.

“I need to take a leak” Bucky says trying to stretch in the seat, Jane frowns tilting her head, “Pee”

“Ah” Jane nods bitting the inside of her cheek, not wanting to chuckle at the peculiar phrase, she glances at Bucky and then back at the window, “Wanna try to open the door?”

Bucky quirks an eyebrow at her and then shrugs, he reaches for her foot and puts his hand around her toes and she realises she was moving her feet nervously. The man leans back, stretching his arms to reach for his coat, Jane’s eyes follow the movement. _He probably can push the snow though_ , Jane forces her gaze on the iPod screen, trying and failing to not look at Bucky too much.

Bucky turns the engine off, but leaves the car unlocked, “We have to open the doors” He says, gesturing at her coat and boots left aside the night before, “The panels must be covered in snow”

Jane slaps herself mentally for not thinking about that and she nods, reaching for her boots to put them on. When she finishes zipping up her coat – regretting not looking for gloves in Rocket’s bus – Bucky is already trying to push the door open, leaving it ajar. The cold air from the outside enters the car, and she can see Bucky is immediately affected by it. The man tries to push the door open with his shoulder, managing to do it just barely. He licks his lips and throws a glance at her. 

“Come here” He says, Jane blinks and he sighs heavily, “Climb out the window” 

Jane scowls, “I was thinking I could try and open this one”

“If I can’t do it alone, much less you” Bucky chuckles, “We have less that thirty percent of energy, let’s go” he rolls down the window, “Once you are outside, you pull and I push” 

Jane purses her lips and nods. It’s awkward trying to climb out the window without sitting on his lap, she accidentally knees him in the groin but he doesn’t say anything, simply grunting and making a face, at the end she practically jumps outside and he practically pushes her. the snow is covering the whole car, except for the hood since the warm engine had spent all night on, so she starts removing the snow from around the door first, unbeknown to Bucky, who pushes once hard and Jane doesn’t realise until the door hits her in the face.

_“Jane, wake up”_

_Jane shuts her eyes tighly, covering her face as a reflex. Every morning Julia woke her up right after the sun went out, opening the curtains covering the windows for the rays of sun to enter her room. Jane didn’t like being woken up early even thought, as Julia always says, she must already be used to it and ‘the early bird get the worm’ or something. But this time, when she finally does open her eyes, the room still dark and outside there is no sound or movement at all. Still, from her spot in the bed she can see and hear Julia pacing around her room like she did every single morning since she has memory._

_“Why did you wake me?” Jane mutters rubbing her eyes, “the sun is not even out yet” she adds, “Or is this another new morning thing now that I am soon going to be ‘a lady’” Jane makes airquotes and she can see the older woman scowl._

_“You_ are _a lady already, Jane” Julia says, she leaves folded clothes on the foot of Jane’s bed._

_“Really?” Jane gasps dramatically, “I thought it was suppose to happen the day of my sixteenth birthday as soon as the clock striked twelve”_

_Julia presses her lips, “If you keep acting like this you’ll become a pumkin instead”_

_Jane barks out a laugh._

_The older woman rolls her eyes, a small smile quirking her lips, “You father asked me to take you to see Ice Tower”_

_“Why?” Jane asks, kicking the covers off, “That thing doesn’t work”_

_The last time the massive lighthouse – called Ice Tower because it was painted white and always covered in snowy ice – worked had been three years ago, Jane had been eleven and Darcy had told her that it was forbidden to go inside but she had a friend who had been inside as a dare. She never really understood why they kept it working, there were no planes or boats that she knew of and, apart from the fact that it was a beautiful architectural structure, it serve no other purpose at all. She yawns and stretches her arm, as Julia chooses a pair of shoes for her._

_“They are going to turn it on again” Julia says, she sighs and turns to her, “It was suppose to be surprise, the light inside was finally replaced with a new one, our friends from Roseburn did it”_

_Jane nods and makes a zipper over her mouth, making Julia smile softly. The last time Jane had hears about ‘their friends from Roseburn’ had been a few months prior during some kind of festival held in the colony. It was the first time she ever left Glassmere, according to her father the festival was a tradition in Roseburn and this year was special because for the first time in decades people from other colonies would be there. That day her father had told her that she would meet someone very important to her, Darcy – to Julias dissaproval – had told her that it was a boy she was suppose to marry once she turned twenty one. Thor was a nice boy, he had walked with her through the strawberry fields, he had told her about his favorite movies, that he played the piano, about his horse Caspian, and that he owned a very big collection of music records from the Old World. Jane knew what arranged marriages were but she never thought she would find herself in one, they seemed to be things of the past. Julia later told her that it would straighten the colonies’ relationships, and Jane understood, she also wanted the New World to be more than her own colony’s limits._

_“Jane, please, hurry up”_

_“Do you think is important for father to have that light on?” Jane asks as she starts dressing._

_Julia smiles, “Of course” she answers, “It should also be important to you”_

_Jane bites her bottom lip not sure what that meant. The older woman chuckles softly and moves behind her to brush her hair, Jane starts buttoning up her shirt as Julia untangles her hair with her fingers._

_“It’s… A symbol of hope, Jane” Julia says, “The world… Even the New World has always been a dark place” Jane frowns, “Everyone, always, needs a light to guide them”_

_“Home?” Jane asks, pursing her lips when Julia pulls from her hair (maybe) unintentionally._

_“Home” Julia nods her head softly, “Even in darkness you can always find home”_

She hears the door being slammed and Bucky kneels next to her. His lips move and his cold hands cups her jaw, making her look at him. Jane chuckles, taking a fistful of snow and taking her hand to her pounding forehead, shutting her eyes close. 

“Jane” Bucky calls and she looks at him, “Are you alright?” Bucky asks, “I told you to pull-“

“The was snow blocking the door” Jane says, she sits slowly, Bucky’s hand on her back, “Sorry” 

Bucky presses his lips, “You alright?” he looms over her, reaching for her forehead to wipe the snow there. 

Jane nods taking Bucky’s arm to finally stand from the cold snow. The man looks around, as if trying to figure out his surroundings, or maybe just checking if there is anyone near them. Jane knows there isn’t anyone in miles, the night before she had woken up by the sound of howling, it meant the wolves that live near – very few, very dangerous – started to move south, the winter solstice was almost too much for them, the night before had been the first snow and even Jane had underestimated it. After that, she hadn’t been able to go back to sleep immediately, so she stared at her colony from afar, realising that not a single light had been lit despite the darkness that fell upon it. She looks at Bucky who had wiped the snow off the solar panels on the hood, and now was kicking the snow off each side of the car. 

“Start the engine” Bucky tells her when he catches her staring.

Jane nods. She enters the car and do as she is being told, before rolling down the widow and peaking her head outside. 

“I think we can enter the colony” Jane starts, “I saw no movement last night and- and it seems abandoned”

Bucky licks his lips, “Sure?” he asks, “We could take the backroad like you said”

_Always so cautious_ , Jane thinks.

She shakes her head, taking a deep breath in, “It’s empty, Bucky” She sounds defeated and Bucky looks at her, “It doesn’t matter”

The man stares at her for a few seconds, his eyes scanning her face for something she didn’t know. Maybe doubt, but she is sure there is nothing and no one left in Glassmere. After a few seconds, Bucky nods.

A pause follows.

“I need to pee”

“Let’s eat something first”

They say in unison.

Jane chuckles nervously, “Right” she looks around and spots a some pines a few feet form them.

“I’ll… After you” Bucky says, and he opens the door.

Jane waits until he enters the car, and sees him reach for the supplies and pick a can of food. She takes a look around as she starts walking towards the trees.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s even more depressing than he imagined.

As they descend slowly down the hill, Jane’s hands gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles had gone white, Bucky realises there is absolutely no sound coming from… Anywhere, No birds, no other cars apart from theirs and no people in sight at all. Which, if he recalled Jane telling him correctly, meant that the whole colony had evaquated to Maraud after they were attacked by Arcadia. He looks at Jane, expecting to see her looking around for any sign of someone or something that reminded her of her home, but her eyes are glued ahead as she stares at the road and nothing more. Not that there is much to look at. Glassmere was small indeed, but as far as he gathered – by reading the signs outside of some buildings – it had several stores, restaurants and two schools. He could almost picture the stores full during the weekends, the restaurants crowded during lunch time, and children playing in the now snow covered swingsets they passed by slowly. But now, the many buildings are covered by at least ten inches of snow, no lights inside or people, and some of the doors are still open, the cars in perfect condition, some in the middle of the streets and others aligned perfectly against the sidewalks. 

It was as if every person in the colony had disappeared in a blink of an eye. Spirited away.

The car suddenly comes to a stop and he turns to Jane with a scowl in his face. Jane takes a deep breath before she reaches to unbuckle her seatbelt.

“Stay here” She says.

“What?” Bucky circles her wrist as she opens the door, “Where are you going?”

Jane’s eyes glance between them, where his hand is holding her, and then at him. Bucky lets go slowly, his eyes still looking at her with a questioning look on his face.

She sighs, running a hand through her face, “I’m- I want to-“

“Ok” Bucky nods once, “But I go with you”

She glances outside the window and then back at him, gnawing on her lower lip before she finally nods, and lets out a whispered 'yes' as she reaches for her coat. Bucky looks out the windshield, before he leans back and zips up his coat. Both remain silent as they leave the car, and once they start walking he looks back at it realising Jane left it parked perfectly. Bucky licks his lips, feeling them chaped because of the cold, and wipes them with the back of the hand as he hurries his pace to catch up with Jane, how was a few feet away from him already. 

“Who taught you to drive?” He asks once he is behind her.

Jane turns to him, “George” she answers slowing her pace so Bucky caught up to her, “My father’s driver”

“Ah” Bucky says, trying to catch his breath.

“My father never knew thought, he was…” She chuckles, “Not strict but… Overprotective” 

“How do you mean?” 

Jane shrugs, “He didn’t like me doing things by myself, I guess” Bucky looks at her, she sounds like she resented him for it, “He… He liked to treat me like some china doll” She puts her hands on the pockets of her coat, “I eventually realised I had to hide a few things from him" 

Bucky hums, “What else did you do behind his back?” He asks, and Jane looks at him trying to suppress a smile, “What?”

She stares a few seconds more before shaking her head, “Nothing” she sighs, and then a few seconds later, “I wasn’t much of a rebel”

A smile tugs from one side of Bucky’s lips. He figured Jane had been not only quiet or lonely, but… Amenable, compliant when it came to her father, or Julia – who she felt she had to be that way if she wanted to follow Erik’s steps – despite the headstrong nature underneath. The same one she had learned to hide so well after years of living in the ice fortress that had been built around her. _For_ her. it was the reason why she had turned to Darcy, who he understood was the complete opposite of her – it was the reason why their bond was so strong despite seeming so different. Deep inside they were the same. Free spirited, restless and unruly. Maybe, in months or years, Jane would realise she was always meant to be that way.

“Julia on the other hand _was_ strict” Jane says after a few seconds, “Old-fashioned too” she chuckles, “She didn’t like driving, parties, or drinking, and insisted that pants were supposed to be wore only by men” Bucky chuckles, “It’s baffling that she ended up with a daughter like Darcy”

“Did you and Darcy grow up together?” 

“Practically” Jane nods, “She and Julia moved to live with us when I was about five, after her dad died” she continues, “We were inseparable, I remember crying every morning when she had to go to school” she says with a chuckle, she sees Bucky frown, “I was homeschooled by Julia and my father” 

Bucky nods, “I imagine you didn’t have many friends” he says bluntly, “Apart from Darcy”

“No” Jane glances at him.

Jane takes a deep breath in and stops walking, before looking around like she is lost. If Bucky had been paying attention instead of asking Jane questions, he would have realised that they had been walking in circles for about ten minutes. He checks their surroundings and realise that the town – citadel, Jane calls it – is so far that the houses and buildings look too small for his liking. 

“Fuck” 

He grips his jaw and turns to Jane, noticing she is a few feet away from him looking around lost. As he walks towards her, he hears her say something under her breath, something he can’t quite catch, so he starts stomping his way to her before he notices how her whole body is tense, her fist clenched tightly on each side of her body. The anger building up inside him dissipates as he sees her knuckles turning white.

Bucky had seen Jane do it before, when she was lost in thought or nervous – maybe even scared – Jane would sink her nails into her palms as if… As if she meant for it to be painful. A pang blooms in his stomach. He didn’t like it, or the idea of that being the reason why. He reaches for her hand slowly, but Jane jumps slightly and turns to him rapidly. He reaches for her wrist the, holding her before she moves away. 

“What is it?” Bucky asks, keeping his tone soft.

“You startled me” Jane says quietly, she swallows tightly.

“Sorry” He whispers, his thumb caressing the back of her hand and when he sees Jane unclenches her fists he lets go, “You don’t know where we are?” 

Jane frowns, “I do” she nods, “it’s just- I was looking for…” She trails off, “Nevermind” 

Bucky licks his lips, looking around, “We should find somewhere to stay tonight” 

But Jane isn’t paying attention to him. She looks at a point behind them and stares, her lips slightly parted and condensation leaving her mouth when she lets out a deep breath. Bucky follows her gaze and notices a man standing several feet away from them, he moves infront of her protectively, a hand stopping Jane from walking towards him. And then he realises it’s not a man, as Jane releases herself from his grip and starts walking at a fast pace towards the _statue_ in the middle of the plaza. He looks back at where they came from, not being able to see the car, and he decides it’s better to stay close to it. But when he turns to tell Jane, she is gone. 

“What the-“ Bucky spots her practically running towards the plaza, “Jane!”

He winces realising he had shouted, but her name doesn’t echo around him like he thought it would, the snow absorbing the sound and making his voice unable to reach Jane. He curses and glances around, before he starts running behind the woman. Running on snow it’s a lot more tiring that he thought it would be, the untouched snow sinking under his weight with every step he gave, almost like running in a dream, and every breath of cold air he took making his throat feel dry. Bucky sees Jane then, panting heavily as she comes to a stop. Jane walks towards the steps underneath the bronze statue he had mistaken with a man – well, it was a man, just not a real one – and starts wiping the snow from its feet with her hands, and then moving upwards. 

“What the hell, Jane?!” He growls, panting heavily as he walks towards her.

Jane doesn’t seem to pay attention to him, reaching for the statue’s open wide arms as she wipes the snow off almost frantically. Bucky’s jaw works his teeth, feeling annoyed by her silence, and he is about to reach for her when Jane’s fingers find a rope, tied around the left arm of the statue, and when she pulls it looks like it was cut.

_My family was hung on the plaza_.

Bucky’s eyes widen in realisation of where he was standing. And the fact that the rope Jane was holding was the same one her father had been hung with. And Julia next to him. Bucky feels his chest tighten when Jane’s shoulder start shaking, the rope gripped tight in her hand before she turns and buries her face in his chest taking deep gasps of air, like she was trying too hard not to cry. Bucky’s hand remain on each side of his body for a few seconds, before he places them on her back and he hugs her tightly. 

Bucky swallows tightly, “I’m so sorry, Jane”

Jane shakes her head, “I needed to see if they had been left here” she takes a shaky breath in. 

Jane wanted to know if they had been buried.

For a second, Bucky wonders what would have happened if their bodies had been left there, to freeze as they hung on the statue, a reminder of what had happened to Glassmere when Arcaida invaded the citadel one night. And he feels angry, knowing that it sounds like something a man like Alexander Pierce would have allowed, and holds her tighter. Jane pulls back, and she looks at a point behind him, when he turns he sees a pile of snow in the distance surrounded by a gate, and when he looks back a Jane he that’s what is left of her home. He isn’t sure if he wants Jane to see it too, as Jane moves away from him and gives one step in that direction, his hand holding the sleeve of her coat before a voice inside tells him that he is nobody to stop her from doing so. So he lets her go, slip through his fingers and walk away.

He sees the rope on the floor, and then remembers Jane had removed the snow from the statues feet, and that it had been to read the carved golden plate. 

“Glassmere is not made of glass but of ice,” He reads, “come winter we shall become… Stronger” 

He hears whistling. And when he lifts his gaze, Jane waves at him from where she stands several meters away. Bucky takes a deep breath and starts walking in her direction.


	6. Ruins Of a Great House

“You want me to what?”

Bucky’s tone is serious as he turns to her so fast she swears his neck creaks. Jane thought he would laugh, or maybe tell her no immediately. Instead he looks _apalled_. She takes a deep breath in, glancing around what used to be her home now burnt down and in ruins, before she looks back at him bitting her bottom lip almost nervously. When Jane saw the pile of snow in the distance and recognised it as her home, she ran towards it without thinking it, but now that she stood on top of it and realised that it hadn’t completely burned down she thought maybe she would be able to find something in the ruins. Anything. Anything that belonged to her father, or to Julia, even to Darcy whose room was probably one of the first to burn since it was downstairs. So she asked Bucky to help her move some of the rubble out of the way.

“Move the-“

“Are you- No!” Bucky scowls, “One wrong move and the rest of this house will fall on us!”

“We’ll do it carefully” Jane insists, “We can start with the smaller ones“

Bucky barks out a laugh, “We?” he says, “You wouldn’t be able to-“

Jane grits her jaw, “Fine! I’ll do it myself!" 

Bucky stops her before she can move. Circling both of her wrist and taking them to his chest. Jane purses her lips and glares daggers at him. Deep inside she knows he is right, despite the foundations of the house being strong, and looking like they were still holding what was left standing, one wrong move could leave them both buried under it. Bucky raises an eyebrow as he looks down at her, and she narrows her eyes at him trying to wrench herself from his grip in vain.

“Let her go!”

Both turn towards the entrance of the house. and It isn’t until something hits Bucky’s face, and he curses covering his face, that he lets her hands go. Jane kneels next to him, and turns to the entrance with a glare.

“What the hell?!” Jane yells at the intruder.

Bucky grips her hand, “Behind me” he says, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. 

“Are you alright?”

Bucky and Jane frown, as a shadow makes their way towards them. The question, directed at Jane, is left unanswered as Bucky pushes her behind him at the same time he gives a step forward, standing between her and the intruder. Jane grips his shoulder, not wanting him to stand so far from her, she tries standing next to him but he stops her looking at her with the corner of his eyes and shaking his head once. She swallows, cursing mentally for leaving both the dagger and the gun in the car. 

“Miss Selvig?” 

Her breath hitches, and Bucky tenses against her.

“Jane?”

As the shadow moves closer to them, to the light, Jane realises she recognises the voice. And she lets go of Bucky’s jacket. 

“Letitia” Jane whispers, “Letitia!”

The older woman finally steps out of the shadows, and a smile splits her face when Jane recognises her and viceversa. Jane shortens the remaining distance between them and pulls her in for a tight embrace. Letitia was one of the people who not only took care of the house, but of Jane and her father, she had been the one who helped Jane into the world too, it was a story she never got tired of telling her every morning on her birthday, as she cut a piece of the cake she baked for her. Jane pulls back and cups the woman’s face, joining their foreheads as Letitia runs a hand through her hair, like she can’t believe she’s there.

“Oh, dear god, my child” Letitia says, pulling back to look at her, “Jane, I thought- I thought you-“

Jane shakes her head, “I’m fine” she hugs her again, “I’m fine” she says against her hair. 

Letitia looks behind her, at Bucky, and hugs Jane’s head before she narrows her eyes at him. Bucky clears his throat, feeling uncomfortable under the woman’s gaze.

“This is Bucky” Jane says, moving towards him, “He help me get here”

The older woman eyes him suspiciously, before Jane elbows Bucky and he licks his lips, offering Letitia a polite nod. Jane seems to remember that Glassmere was suppose to be empty, and she turns to the older woman. 

“Letitia, what are you still doing here?” Jane asks, frowning deeply, “I thought-“

“We should move somewhere warm” Letitia cuts her off. 

Jane’s brow furrows. She glances at Bucky with the corner of his eye and the man nods at her, condensation leaving his mouth as he breaths out. Jane looks back at Letitia and nods, offering the older woman a small smile as she offers her arm for her to hold onto as they make their way out of the house.

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky leans against the wall near the window, glancing at the old woman as she paces around the living room. Letitia must be around fifty years old, her raven dark hair is full of grey strands and she moves slow, holding her back when she reaches for a log of wood from the pile next to the fireplace infront of them. Jane stands from the couch she is sitting on and reaches to help her, but Letitia declines politely offering a small smile, and Jane nods sitting back on the couch slowly.

When Letitia walks towards him and tells him to move from the window, Bucky doesn’t miss the way she limps away slightly, every three or four steps she gives, and he wonders if she always had it or if its recent. With one last look outside the window, he moves away, closing the blinds before moving next to the chimney seeking warmth.

“Are you hungry?” Letitia asks.

Jane nods, “We haven’t eaten breakfast”

The older woman nods and leaves to the kitchen. Bucky walks towards Jane and sit next to her, shrugging his coat off as he starts feeling the living room warmer because of the fireplace. 

“How’s you eye?” Jane asks, cupping his jaw to look at his right eye.

Bucky just shrugs, “It was nothing”

Jane nods, and she glances at where the older woman disappeared before looking back at him, “She’s a friend” She tells him quietly, a small comforting smile, “Don’t be so worried” 

Bucky’s brow furrows, “I wasn’t-“

“I have plenty for you two to fill your stomachs” Letitia comes back, a smile on her face and a tray on her hands.

Jane looks at the tray as Letitia puts it on the small table infront of them, “It smells amazing” She smiles, “Right, Bucky?”

Bucky nods and looks at Letitia, “Thank you” 

The older woman smiles and takes a seat across from them, Jane doesn’t wait to dig into the food, and Bucky tries not to stuff his mouth too much or too fast, despite being very hungry and the food being very, very good. Warm bread, oatmeal, pancakes, some bacon, and strawberry jam.

Letitia excuses herself before disappearing to one of the halls behind them, and Bucky doesn’t miss the way Jane’s eyes follow her until she is gone, lingering on the door for a few seconds before she continues eating in silence. The older woman comes back minutes after they had already finished eating, once again, Jane offers to help pick up the dishes but she declines, and when Bucky does it she chuckles softly shaking her head too. When she leaves towards the kitchen, Jane’s eyes follow her, and Bucky notices her leg starts jumping up and down nervously. He spreads his hand on her knee, looking at Jane in the eye when she turns to him, and when Jane grabs his hand he thinks that is to move it away, but instead she squeezes softly.

“Why do you think she still here?” Jane asks.

Bucky licks his lips, not knowing what to answer. Jane said everyone left after the attack, and the colony seemed completely empty up until Letitia appeared. Jane’s lips quiver, and she runs her thumb against his bottom lip, it’s so fleeting he barely registers it.

“We need to get you some chapstick” Jane tells him. 

Bucky frowns, taking his hand to his mouth. Letitia comes back then, and Jane looks at her letting go of Bucky’s hand. 

“I brought some tea”

The older woman leaves a few cups on the table and pours hot tea on each of them, glancing at Bucky and Jane, Bucky notices the small frown on her face and he straightens in his seat feeling nervous for some reason.

“Letitia” Jane says, reaching for one of the cups, “If you don’t mind me asking…” she starts, “What happened after that night?” 

Letitia takes a cup and leans back on her seat, “People were scared” she says after a few seconds, “Those men, the ones who- who-” she shakes her head, “They didn’t leave the next morning, they stayed here” Jane swallows audibly, “We waited days for them to leave, and when they finally did… That’s when people started leaving the colony” 

Jane stares at the cup in her hand, “Why did you stay?” she looks at the older woman, and he voice shakes at the end, “I thought… I thought the colony was empty” she says, “Why did you stay?”

“I’m old, child” Letitia leaves the cup on the table, “The road towards Maraud is not an easy one” she adds, “I wouldn’t have… It would be too much for me”

Jane’s bottom lip trembles, “They should have found a way” She grips the cup so tight her knuckles turn white, “Whoever helped others leave, they-“ 

“No, darling, no” Letitia says softly, and she reaches for Jane, “I _chose_ to stay” 

Bucky feels Jane tense next to him, but when the older woman hold her hand, she relaxes. 

“I was born here” Letitia says, “And here I will die”

Jane squeezes the woman’s hand and after a few seconds, she nods tighly. Bucky realises that Jane truly understands what the woman is talking about, and then he remembers the sentiment that Coulson and May have for Arcadia, despite Bucky hating it as much as they loved it.

“May I use your restroom?” Bucky asks.

Jane looks at him.

“Sure, darling” Letitia nods, “It’s down the hall on the left”

“Thanks” 

He stands feeling Jane’s eyes on him as he walks away, trying not to make too much noise as his heavy boots step on the wooden floor. The narrow hall is not too long, and Bucky stares at the picture frames hung on the walls as he makes his way to the bathroom door. The last thing he hears is Letitia asking Jane about what had happened to her after they took her from the plaza. And Bucky feels a lump in his throat, not sure if he wants to hear it, before he choses to lock himself in the bathroom while Jane told Letitia everything he already knows, and maybe things she hadn’t told Bucky yet. Bucky washes his face and neck, feeling his back sore as he continues to hear the muffle voices coming from the living room. He leans against the door, trying to figure what they are saying but not being able to, so he sits on the floor, back against the cold bathroom wall before he closes his eyes for a while. After almost twenty minutes he hears them go quiet, so he decides to rejoin them, not sure if he can be part of whatever conversation they could be having next.

“It’s all we could recover” He hears the older woman say apologetically.

“This is… It’s enough” Jane replies.

Bucky enters the living room as quietly as possible. Jane turns to him, and she calls his name. He doesn’t miss the way Letitia looks at him – as if she’s still trying to figure out what his deal is – and then smiles at him softly, standing from the spot next to Jane, so he takes her place. Bucky offers his hand for her to stand and she squeezes his arm before she lets him sit and disappears to the kitchen again. This time, Bucky sees her simply leaning against the sink, as she stares outside from the window in the kitchen.

“Look” Jane pulls from his shirtsleeve, “This is Julia”

Bucky looks at the picture Jane is showing him. He takes it and stares at it. Julia had silvery blonde hair, icy blue eyes and thin lips, not a single wrinkle in her face despite looking mid-forties, perhaps she never smiled or furrowed her eyebrows. She looked like the kind of teacher children would be scared of if he was being honest, but he doesn’t say anything. 

“That’s Darcy over there”

Darcy on the other hand was gorgeous. A certain air of mischief in her features as she smiled broadly at the camera, her dark black hair falling down her shoulders, and her snow-white skin almost glowing under the sunny day. He stares at the picture a little too long, before Jane chuckles next to him and he looks at her, returning her the picture. Jane give her another picture then, a man with strong features and light blue eyes, next to a woman with brown curls an doe-like brown eyes so similar to Jane’s. He turns the picture and notices something written on it.

“Erik Selvig, Elise Foster” Bucky reads, he frowns, “Foster” 

Foster was the last name Daisy had given Jane in her ID Card. He thought it had been at random, but knowing Daisy he should have known that wasn’t the case. Jane reaches for her coat behind her, and puts the pictures in the front pocket, zipping it up to secure them there.

“Letitia told me I could keep them” Jane explains.

Bucky looks at the box on the floor. There are still a few things inside, a silver box, candleholders, a broken hand mirror and some books, but Jane doesn’t seem to want them so he doesn’t ask if she’s taking them. He reaches for one of the books, reading the cover, as Jane rummages inside a silver box. There’s an old watch, a few bracelets, necklaces and a couple of rings, but none seem to be the one Jane is looking for since she closes it and puts it back inside. Bucky sees her reach for the old instant camera at the bottom – he had seen Daisy use a similar one at some point – Jane accidentally presses the shutter and a flash blinds him momentarily.

“Sorry” Jane chuckles, taking the picture that slides out of it.

He waves it off. 

“What is that?” Bucky asks, realising there is another box next to Jane’s feet. 

“She gave us some supplies” Jane tells him, “I… Told her about us going to look for Darcy”

“Good” Bucky nods, glancing at Letitia before he looks back at Jane. 

“We should go”

Bucky frowns, “Are you sure?” he then adds, “I mean, we could stay longer if… If you want”

Jane shakes her head before she glances towards the kitchen, where Letitia was washing the dishes while humming a song, she smiles like she knows the song, and then turns to Bucky who stares in the older woman’s direction again. It was a strange view for Bucky, almost too homely. Something that maybe Jane had seen and felt before with Letitia, but Bucky doesn’t remember feeling near anyone or anywhere.

“If I stay a bit longer I won’t want to leave” Jane says quietly, and then after a few seconds she adds, “I’ll let her know” before she stands and starts walking towards Letitia. 

Bucky stares as Jane puts a hand on the woman’s shoulders and squeezes softly. Letitia turns and Jane tells her they must go, they were going to the Freelands and road was long ahead, the older woman nods and cradles Jane’s face softly before leaving a kiss on her forehead. Jane’s nose turns pink, and her eyes water when she pulls back, and a small smile split her face when Letitia smiles widely, leaning in to leave a kiss on the top of her head. Bucky looks away then, when Letitia starts whispering something to her, like a prayer, to give them some privacy as he reaches for his coat. He is relieved when he hears both women choked up laughs, and the previous heavy atmosphere it’s suddenly lifted. 

It’s Bucky who turns around to give one last look at the woman, and she smiles softly at him, before she closes the door. Jane is left with the box full of cans and water bottles, that Bucky offers to carry minutes later and she accepts.

“She said that a lot of elders stayed” Jane says once they are away, “They lived all their lives here” A sigh, “It’s still home for them despite… Everything” 

Bucky looks around, wondering if they were inside the many houses they passed as they made their way back to the car. And then he wonders if Letitia had lied, just to make Jane believe like she was not leaving her alone, so she could leave with Darcy without remorse. He shakes the thought away, and Jane continues talking. 

“They buried my father next to my mother, and Julia next to her husband”

After that, neither say anything else, walking in silence towards the car, and Bucky hopes Jane remembers because he has no idea where they are and the box in his hand is heavy. All he sees around them is pine trees and snow, white snow covering every surface as far as he can see. They pass by the same spot they did before the plaza, and Jane once again looks around, as if she’s looking for something but she can’t see it. Her fists are clenched again like before, and this time Bucky can’t help but reach for her wrist, holding the box tightly with one arm and rubbing her palm soothingly. 

Jane stares at him with a frown on her face, breathing through her mouth softly as condensation leaves her lips. 

“You do this a lot” He says, almost scolding her, “Is it… Is it because it hurts?” he asks, trying to keep his tone soft but firm. 

Her frown deepens, “No” she answers, “Of course not” Jane licks her lips and shakes her head, “I… Didn’t realise I was doing it” she says afterwards.

“It looks like it hurts” He licks his lips, “Just… Don’t do it anymore” He swallows, “Please”

“I’m sorry” Jane says almost in a whisper, and then she nods, “I won’t, I promise” 

Bucky realises he still holding her hand, and he squeezes before he lets her go. Jane takes a breath in and Bucky sees her rub her cold hands together, like she is enjoying the lingering feeling of holding someone else’s hand. At least, that’s why _he_ does it, but she doesn’t notice. They continue walking a few more minutes, until they finally reach the car. Once inside, Jane reaches inside her front pocket and gives Bucky a small tube.

“Chapstick” She says when he frowns at it.

He raises an eyebrow at her before letting out a breathy chuckle. 

“Where are we spending the night?” Bucky asks.

Jane turns the engine, “A small cabin near the lake I told you about” she says, reaching for the iPod on the backseat, “It’s close to the colony limits so we can leave as soon as the sun is out” 

“Didn’t think you would be in a hurry to leave home” Bucky says quietly.

Jane glances at him, leaving the iPod in his lap, before she grips the steering wheel and starts driving. Bucky doesn’t say anything else, but he sees her glancing at the rear view mirror several times, as the plaza, Letitia’s house and the ruins of her home became more and more distant. He hears Jane take a shaky breath in before she lets it out, and it sound almost relieved as she takes her hand to her chest, where the pictures of her family were safe in her front pocket. She reaches for the radio then, and presses play, a song plays from the speakers and Jane’s lips quirk upwards.

“I will find a new home” Jane whispers to herself.

Bucky pretends not to hear her, but he fills small smile pull form his lips and he leans back on his seat, enjoying the melody too.


	7. Not Waving but Drowning

Bucky turns on the couch for what feels like the hundredth time. Despite feeling exhausted when he went to sleep, he hadn't being able to rest for more than three hours, perhaps because of the chilling cold or maybe the remorse of being in a fairly comfortable couch when Jane is sleeping on the floor. He glances at Jane, who is wrapped in her blanket and deeply asleep a few feet from him. The fire was still alive, and the room was warm, just not enough for him. Perhaps he had grown used to sleep with her closer to him, he thinks as he glances at her again, and then at the space next to her that looked empty for some reason. Bucky takes a deep breath and shakes the thought away, scolding himself for thinking that way when he had already decided not to fall deeper for Jane Foster.

The cabin was small, a single room with no kitchen or bedrooms, no working electricity, and the "bathroom" was outside – four walls and a hole in the ground, _ick_ – Jane had told him that the cabin wasn’t owned by anyone, it was used by teenagers when they wanted to make parties and drink in secret, and since it was apart from the citadel, no one really bothered in demolishing it. When they arrived there were twenty inches of snow covering it, like it had been abandoned longer than the rest of the colony, and the door was frozen close. There was a wooden chest box in one corner of the room, where someone had left several bottles of alcohol the last time the cabin was occupied.

He considers taking a drink, it _could_ warm him up, but chooses not to when Jane stirs on her sleep and he realises is better if he stayed up and kept guard. _Just in case_. He kept telling himself that, not being able to come to terms with the fact that they were… Alright.

Bucky runs a hand through his face and hair as he takes his eyes off Jane, finally deciding to stay awake, the scratch of his beard reminds him that he hadn’t shave or have a proper shower in ages. Tomorrow they can finally leave as soon as the sun is out.

As he stands from the couch, Bucky wonders how was the citadel before Pierce decided to sink his claws into the colony. Jane described it as a happy place, with music and movies, and parties held for the people, everything that it wasn't now, everything that it didn't have anymore. He is about to lay back on the couch when he hears it, a howling just like the night before, when Jane woke him to see the snow falling. But it didn't sound too far, it actually sounded closer than before. Jane stirs in her sleep but doesn't wake up and Bucky tries not to make a sound until she is still again. He hears the howling once more, and it's almost as if it's right next to them. Bucky glances at Jane and stands from the couch, reaching for his boots and coat, tying then up and zipping it up before he reaches for Jane's backpack to get the small flashlight she had, and walks outside as quiet as possible throwing one glance at Jane before he closes the door behind him.

The night was unforgivably cold, chilling him through his bones, but when he hears the howl of the wolf he forgets about it and continues walking, gripping the flashlight tightly. Jane had told him about wearing gloves but he had forgotten those, so he tries to at least warm up one hand by putting in inside one of the coat pockets.

For a second he forgets he's actually looking for the howling wolf until he hears the animal again. He isn't sure why he wants to see it so badly - well, he has never seen one before - but he does, his feet moving fast as the snow allows him as he follows the sound. He turns to find the house almost too far for his liking, and when he is about to turn around and go back, he hears a low growl. Bucky tenses, his body going rigid as he looks over his shoulder with the corner of his eye.

"Holy shit" he whispers.

Less than ten feet from when he is standing the wolf stands, baring his teeth at the intruder and growling lowly. Bucky takes a deep breath, and then lets it out slowly, not wanting to scare the animal away - or to give the wolf a reason to attack him - and turns the flashlight off. It takes a few seconds for his eyes to get used to the darkness, but when he is finally able to make up more than a dark shape, he sees the wolf approaching him. There are a few dark spots on the snow, where the animal steps and Bucky can tell he's wounded. The wolf limps towards him, still cautious, and Bucky kneels slowly at the same time he reaches for him. 

"Don't panic" Bucky whispers, condensation leaving his lips, "it's okay"

The wolf's electric blue eyes are burried into Bucky's very similar ones. And he is so close to touching the white fur with his fingertips. He puts his weight on one knee and the snow under him creaks, making the wolf give a step back and sneer at him. Bucky swallows tighly, but keeps his hand stretched towards the animal. He has never seen something so beautiful, despite it's muzzle being marred with scars and the limping as it moved, the wolf remained a majestic wild creature. The thought of asking Jane if she could fix the animal's leg crosses his mind but shakes it off, thinking how dumb and impossible it sounded.

"Hey" Bucky whispers, "it's alright, it's alright" 

He doesn't know what else could calm the animal, or make it come to him, so he just repeats it once again. And when the tip of his fingers finally touch the spot between the electric blue eyes, the snow creaks under him. No, it cracks. The frozen ice under his feet cracks with the weight of both him and the wolf. 

Only when the ice cold water swallows Bucky, he remembers that Jane said the lake wasn't frozen enough.

 

* * *

 

Jane opens her eyes.

She takes her hand to her chest and then looks around, panting harshly. She was having another nightmare she wishes she couldn't remember, but she could see the fire swallowing her house, and Julia and her father hung outside the plaza as clear as she could see the fire burning next to her. She had thought that the carefree feeling she had left Glassmere with would keep the nightmares away, but it hadn’t been enough. She kicks the covers off her, feeling too warm despite the cold sweat covering her, and ties her hair up with an elastic band she kept in her wrist. The fire next to her flickers, and when she turns to Bucky, the couch is empty.

"Bucky?" Jane calls, "Bucky" she says louder.

There is a faint sound in the distance, and when she tries to distinguish it she isn’t able to. She stands up and notices the man's boots and coat are gone, her backpack is open and the door is slightly ajar, letting the cold air from outside enter the house. Jane stands and puts her shoes as fast as she can and grabs her coat before opening the door looking outside for Bucky, several feet away from the boat house she can see the faint light of a flashlight and then she hears a howling, followed by splashing water. 

"Bucky!" Jane yells, her feet moving automatically towards the light. 

Her lungs are almost burning, her feet moving as fast as they can as her mind supplies her with the worst possible scenarios, Bucky being eaten by wolves, Bucky drowning, Bucky dead... When she finally reaches the light, the flashlight she kept in her bag is on the ground, barely inches away from a hole filled with frozen water. The hole Bucky had fallen into.

"No, no, no, no, no" Jane kneels on the snow careful not to break the ice under her feet, realising that she's on top of the lake, "Bucky! Bucky, please!" 

When his head pops out in the surface he gasps for air desperately, she gasps laying on the thicker ice and reaching for him. Jane isn't sure if he knows how to swim but even if he did, the frigid water would drag him down. The snow is cold against her chest, and she reaches for the man only for him to slip through her fingers like the cold water that was drowning him. She takes a few deep breaths before she turns on the flashlight and sinks it in the ice water, hoping Bucky doesn't lose it out of sight. She crawls closer to the edge of the hole and sinks both hands into the freezing water, waving them around to see if Bucky could reach her. 

"Shit" she curses, the cold wind freezing the tears already streaming down her cheeks, "Bucky, come on" She shouts, "come on!"

Her breath hitches when she feels Bucky grip one of her hands and she immediately grips it tighter before she starts to pull, or tries to since he weights almost three times what he normally does while wet. Jane doesn't want to break the ice so she has to do it carefully, she taps the surface underneath her to make sure it's thick enough to hold her and Bucky's weight.

"It's alright- I got- _I got you, Bucky_ " Jane says, more to herself than to him.

Jane looks at him with wide, glassy eyes when he finally is able to breath again, he tries to say something but the cold air feels like knives on his windpipe, every breath he takes piercing his lungs. Jane pulls him towards her more and more, until he isn't in the water anymore, he is still shivering violently and his wet clothes seem to be dragging him down while Jane tries pulling him up.

Gathering all her strength, she manages to help him get inside the house, as he drags his feet through the snow doing his best to walk despite his legs feeling like ice blocks. Her body is warm against his but it's not enough. Bucky barely registers he is inside the house, as he stands in the middle of the room alone for a few seconds while Jane closes the door behind them, she is rambling about the ice and the lake but he isn't paying much attention, wanting to get rid of the clothes and boots but not able to move a muscle.

He opens his mouth, "I- I'm fr- freez-"

"We need to get these off" Jane says out of breath, pulling the zipper of the coat down and peeling it off his shoulders.

He shrugs the coat off and lets Jane take the shirt off him, raising his arms when she tells him too as he tries to toe off his boots. He lets out a frustrated sound when he is unable to do so and Jane tells him to wait. She holds something up to his lips, a small glass with amber liquid in it, and without questions he swallows it. The liquid burns through his throat. 

“It will warm you up” 

He nods jerkily, "Th- Fu- fucking boots"

Jane frowns and then looks at his feet, "Sorry, sorry" she says nervously. 

Jane kneels and unlaces the books, taking them off in a swift movement. Her hands are shaking as much as Bucky's whole body, and he realises she is more scared than anything else. Scared that she almost lost him perhaps, his mind supplies and he swallows guiltily at the thought. He opens his mouth to apologise but Jane cuts him off.

"The socks are dry" Jane says, leaving them on his feet.

Bucky starts walking towards the fire but Jane stops him holding his hips and unbuttoning his pants instead, she is about to pull them down when he stops her, Jane takes a few breaths in and the starts talking at a fast pace.

"We need to get the temperature up slowly" She says quickly, "if you get warm to fast your blood will rush to your heart and you can have a heart attack" It comes out as an overflow of words, but her voice comes out small afterwards, "Please" 

Bucky nods, shivering still as she lets Jane undress him, once his pants and underwear are gone she reaches for a dry shirt and tells him to dry his hair as much as he can. He starts doing as he's told, stopping when Jane takes off the thick sweater she is wearing, staying in the thin cotton shirt she wore under, and kicks her shoes off before reaching for the blanket she has been sleeping on what feels hours ago. He can't help but stare shamelessly, blaming the state of shock he is in - for falling into ice water that is - that's when he remembers he's naked. 

"What were you doing outside, Bucky?" Jane scolds.

And before he can answer she... Hugs him. Arms tight around his torso as her body flushes against his own naked one. Did he already say he was naked? Because he is naked. While Jane holds him as if her life depended on it. Well, his life probably does depend on it. Maybe.

"Bucky, what were you doing-"

"What is thi- this for?" He stammers, looking at a point ahead, still shivering despite the warmth she was providing. 

Jane looks at him, "Sharing body heat" she says matter factly, like she isn't hugging him while he is fully naked.

She throws the blanket around his shoulders, it's large enough to cover both of them but Jane just covers his shoulders, rubbing his arms before hugging him again. If the blood was running through his body normally, he would have already made the moment an embarrassing one, he thinks, but only sighs and enjoys the life saving body heat Jane is offering. His hands twitch on each side of her shoulders, like they know he is suppose to do something else with them but Bucky's brain hasn't quite catch up.

"Your legs will warm up by themselves" Jane says, "but you can put your arms around me"

Bucky nods and finally puts his arms around her, covering her whole body with the blanket as he does, her body looking almost fragile against the bulk of a man he was. But he knew fragile or weak wasn't a word he could use to describe Jane. Jane was... Resilient. She wasn't the thin ice that broke underneath his feet, she was the strong water that had pulled him down and down, drowning him slowly. That's how he felt with Jane, like a drowning man. He was already in too deep to be pulled out, and he didn't care anymore. He pulls Jane closer, tighter, hiding his face in the crook of her neck, enjoying the smell and warmth emanating from her. He's hyper aware of every part of his body where it touches Jane's. He feels raw, skinless.

"I'm going to put my hands on you" Jane says, barely above a whisper but they are close enough, she's asking permission for some reason. 

 _Don't touch me like that_. Bucky remembers saying, but not wanting her to touch him wasn't what he meant. He doesn't say it.

He nods his head, and he soon feels Jane's cold hands on his sides, then moving to his back rubbing up and down. Bucky then remembers that Jane almost jumps into the water to try to reach for him. He gets a glimpse of Steve's wet blond hair and blue eyes, wide in fear, trying to reach him too, many years ago. It passes like a fleeting shadow, but he sees the same fear he saw in Jane's eyes dripping from Steve's.

"What were you doing outside?" Jane asks against his chest, and he remembers her asking the same question minutes before.

He licks his lips, "I wanted to see the wolf" 

Jane remains quiet and still for a few seconds, before she chuckles and then laughs softly. Not mockingly, just... Amused. His lips quirk upwards and he feels his cheeks blush in embarrassment, the blood rushing through his body already at a normal pace. 

"And did you?" She asks. 

"Mm?" 

"Did you see the wolf?" 

He nods, "It was beautiful" Jane hums, "Did it fall to the water too?"

"I don't think so, no" Jane says, "I didn't see anything, it was dark" she adds apologetically. 

Bucky nods. The poor animal probably feel into the water too, the hole had been big enough and the wolf was close to him when the ice broke underneath them. He feels Jane's hand caress his back, and he feels self conscious about the scars there all of sudden, similar to the wolf's muzzle. And he hopes Jane finds them... He doesn't want her to be repulsed by them. Bucky feels the urge to pull away, but Jane is wrapped around him as tightly as the blanket. 

"Do you know how to swim?" Jane asks suddenly.

"Of course" he answers after a few seconds, then he frowns, "Why?"

"Just curious" Jane replies, "I... You can sit near the fire now" 

Jane moves away from him slowly, feeling as if she had overstayed her welcome somehow, and then Bucky nods looking almost uncomfortably she realises that’s it. He walks towards the couch he had been sleeping on and drags it closer to the fire, closer to where she had been sleeping. It's when he slumps into the couch with a groan that Jane realises she had been standing in the same spot for too long and she blinks several times reaching for her discarded sweater.

"I remember Steve"

Jane turns to Bucky, a questioning look on her face. She then remembers Bucky's nightmares when he doesn't drink, he hadn't have them since they started traveling together and she feels relief because maybe Bucky feels somehow safe with her. At least unconsciously. Jane walks towards him and seats on the other side couch, taking her knees to her chest. 

"When I passed out because of the poison" he glances at her and when she nods he looks back at the fire, "Steve was my... Brother"

"The kind you choose?" 

He nods. 

"We were playing in the docks, where they wrecked boats are and we were caught by someone, some guards from Arcadia talking about something we maybe shouldn't have heard" Bucky licks his lips, "Steve wasn't going to be able to outrun them and I... I told him to leave" a wrinkle appear between his eyebrows and he stares at the fire, "I didn't even think about what would happen to me, I wanted him to be safe" 

A pause follows. Jane waiting for him to continue and Bucky not really knowing what else to say.

"They only caught you, Bucky" Jane reminds him, and she wants to tell him Steve escaped and that he was fine but she can't.

Jane can see Bucky's eyes becoming shinny, but he doesn't cry, instead he shakes his head and runs and hand through his still damp hair. She can see that, despite what he's saying sounding like he saved Steve, Bucky feels _guilty_. Maybe it's regret or a combination of both. Jane wishes then as she moves closer to him, that just like Darcy in the Cinders, Steve is safe in Catalean.

"Part of me doesn't want to go to Catalean" Bucky admits, "If he isn't- if Steve is gone... All I went through was for nothing"

Jane reaches for hand, moving as close as she feels allowed to, sitting on her knees to be able to look into his eyes.

"What you went through wasn't for nothing, and it wasn't nothing" Jane says firmly, "And nothing will change the fact that you went through all of that and still... Still remained" She squeezes his hand, "You are who you are because of that" 

"And what is that?" Bucky's brow furrows. 

"A good man, Bucky" She lets out a small puff of air, “And I will keep saying it until you realise it’s the truth”

It's not the first time Bucky hears her say it. But unlike the first time, he doesn't want to argue with her, he doesn't want to deny it either. He wants to believe it because it's Jane who said it, the same woman that had saved his life not because she needed something from him but because she truly believes he _deserves_ to be saved. Bucky wants to pulls her into a kiss right then and there. To wrap her arms around her and and let her touch him as much as she wants, _if_ she wants. But instead he nods, the knot on his throat too tight for him to say anything, and his limbs too sore to move at all. Jane squeezes his hand and then lets go but doesn't move away, and Jane takes it as a sign that is alright for her to lean into him. 

"What were you looking for?" Bucky asks after a few seconds in silence, She tilts her head, “When we were at the citadel” 

"There used to be a... Lighthouse like-"

"Ice Tower" Bucky says and she frowns with a nod, "I’ve heard of it, I thought it was there just... That it was smaller than people thought and we missed it"

Jane chuckles sadly, “It’s gone” she says after a few seconds, “You couldn’t see it because it was gone” 

He looks at her, “I’m sorry”

“It was just a building” Jane shrugs, “And… What it meant doesn’t matter anymore” she looks at him, and Bucky notices she’s hurt by her own words.

She goes quiet then, and reaches for a forgotten blanket on the floor to cover herself with. Bucky doesn’t look tired anymore, or cold, a healthy blush on his cheeks that makes him look even more handsome than he already is. Jane makes herself look away from him, and moves away from him as if to prevent herself from remembering that he is still nude under the blanket covering him. _Too late for that, genius_. She scolds herself, shaking her head and the thought away. But then she starts wondering if Bucky had ever being in that same state with someone else, in an entirely different situation of course. He already knew she had never been touched by a man, he knew she was once promised to someone she barely knew – She had only met Thor once, during the Strawberry Fields Festival in Roseburn, and they did nothing more than to shake hands – but she didn’t know anything about that aspect of his life. 

The curiosity becomes too much for her and she blurts out the question before she can stop herself. 

"Did you ever had a girlfriend?" 

Bucky looks taken aback by the question.

He looks at her wondering why bring that up in that particular time, then remembering she is curious by nature. Jane hadn’t ask too many personal questions, other than where he was from and if he remembered much and she knew he didn’t. About Jane’s personal things he knew she had been a lonely child, she only talks about Darcy, Julia and her father, she had probably never had a boyfriend since she was promised to someone else and, even thought it wasn’t a requirement to be a virgin until marriage, it was already known that she had never being touched by a man before.

"I just wanted to... I don’t know converse" She adds nonchalantly, when he remains quiet for too long.

After a few seconds Bucky hums.

"No. I never did."

“Oh” Jane starts twisting her fingers on her lap, “Why?”

Bucky shrugs, "If I was going to stay and die in the pit, I didn't want anyone to miss me” he answers honestly, “And if I was going to leave… I didn’t want someone that I would miss" 

Jane stares at the fire. Bucky’s words making sense, as if he had the answer for that question ready in his head. Maybe May or Coulson had asked him the same thing once, or it was just a common way of thinking amongst Legionaries. Bucky doesn’t ask about boyfriends, and she considers telling him about Thor, but… His name is all she knows about him. Jane remembers the blond hair and the charming smile, but she didn’t _know_ anything else about him, so she keeps quiet. 

"There was a woman who was my… _Friend_ ” Bucky adds seconds later, "Natasha" Jane looks at him, "We were close, but never too close" he chuckles almost sadly, "Neither would let the other do that" 

"Did you want to?" 

He looks at her, "No" He answers at the same time his eyes drift away from hers, "I didn't think I deserved something like that then" 

Bucky isn’t sure is he should continue talking about the subject, but the conversation was flowing organically and he didn’t want to ruin that. Jane only – always – wanted to make conversation, and it didn’t bother him if she knew more about him.

"And now?”

Jane’s tone is soft-spoken, and she is looking at the fire when he glances at her. 

"I want to" He answers quietly, like it's a secret, "or at least I want to believe that is possible" 

She looks at him for a few seconds, "You deserve to let yourself believe that”

Before Bucky can find a reply to that, Jane yawns, apologising quietly afterwards. Bucky tells her she could go back to sleep, he wasn’t tired after all, and when she looks like she is about to argue, she yawns again and rubs her eye with the heel of her hand, offering him a soft smile and a nod afterwards. Jane doesn’t go back to the floor, she rests her head on the arm of the couch and holds the blanket tightly around herself. Her brown eyes looking amber as she stares into the fire, lost in thought for a few seconds, before she whispers something he doesn’t quite catch and closes her eyes.

 

* * *

  

Jane stares into the fire for a few seconds, wanting to fall asleep but afraid she would have another nightmare, but her eyelids feel heavy and Bucky does tell her he will keep an eye for her. She asks him to wake her up, just in case and with that she falls into a deep sleep.


	8. Dog Days

Bucky truly preferred the hot Desolation climate than the cold winds from the north. According to Jane they were more east than south now, and that meant that they were closer to the ocean, to Catalean, and even though he couldn’t see the blue sea in the distance or smell the salty air just yet, the warmer temperatures were enough for him for now. The downside of it was that the nights were as cold as the days were hot, they couldn’t sleep in the car as often either, the engine – which he was looking at – has started to overheat, and it could explode if they kept forcing it, and they couldn’t risk being stranded in the middle of the desert with not enough food or water. 

“We have enough for two or three days” 

He closes the hood of the car and looks at Jane. She had been counting the rest of their provisions in the backseat, and he follows her with his eyes as she steps out of the car and slams the door close. Bucky clenches his jaw. 

“Don’t slam the door” He scolds, and he’s pretty sure it’s the millionth time he says it. 

Jane sighs heavily and walks towards him, leaning against the car and crossing her arms. She purses her lips, squinting because of the sunlight she so often complained about, there’s sweat running down her brow, and her neck and chest are covered in a thin layer of it, her hair sticking to her forehead as she looks around – not sure at what since there isn’t anything in miles.

“Do we have enough water?” Bucky asks. 

“That we do” She nods, “And a lot of dry meat” she adds wrinkling her nose, “But we are out of fruit”

There had been a apples and grapes in the box that Letitia had given Jane, alongside dry strawberries and canned apricots. They went through them in two days. 

Bucky hums, “Okay”

“I feel like I’m melting” Jane whines, pulling her hair up into a ponytail but unable to tie it without a hairband, “How are you not melting?”

“I am” He shrugs, pulling from the neck of his shirt, “I just don’t complain about it every five minutes” 

Jane glares, “I apologise” she says flatly, glancing at the hood of the car she asks, “Are we going to be able to drive soon?” 

Bucky licks his lips, “I doubt it” he answers, “It’s better if we wait for the panels to fully charge before turning on the engine again”

“Can we at least use the air conditioner?”

Bucky stares at Jane and blinks slowly.

“Fine” She says with a resigned sigh, “How did you tie your hair?”

He has his hair in a low bun, several strands of hair had fallen out but he hadn’t bother in fixing it. Bucky reaches for the hairband he had kept since they left Arcadia, and offers it to Jane, who sighs happily and takes it, tying her hair in a bun like he had. She flattens her hair with both hands as much as she can, the sweat making a few curls stick to the nape of her neck. 

“Happy now?” He asks, and when Jane nods and dimples at him, he can’t help the smile that tugs from his lips.

“I would really, really, _really_ like if we could set the tent” Jane says, “I need shade, I feel like I’m burning” 

Bucky sighs, “Not even five minutes passed”

He can almost hear Jane roll her eyes as he walks towards the trunk and opens it, reaching for the tents – which he didn’t know they had until three days ago – for them to set everything for that night. Jane makes a pained face when Bucky gives one to her, and he chuckles, reaching for the trunk for the other one. 

“Jane” He pauses. 

“Hm?” 

Bucky glances at her, “Where is the other tent?”

Jane shrugs, shoulders slouching afterwards, “You put it in there” 

“No, last time you-“ He stops himself and clenches his jaw. 

He remembers Jane entering the car after throwing one of the folded tents in the trunk. Right before he closed it. 

“You left it”

They say in unison. Jane scowls, clutching the tent in her arms. Bucky opens and closes his mouth a few times, and Jane purses her lips knowing that they would end up arguing about something dumb as a simple mistake. He notices her blink a few times, like she’s trying to focus her gaze, and she looks tired but defiant.

“Go get some water” he finally says, “We’ll figure something out”

Her expression softens and she nods, he takes the tent from Jane’s arms and starts unfolding it as she walks towards the windows to reach for a bottle of water. He starts setting the camp while Jane covers her head with his jacket, shielding herself from the sun the best she can. Bucky could see the heat was exhausting her, she was drenched in sweat, and her cheeks were crimson by both the sun and the hot climate she was not used to. Him on the other hand couldn’t stop moving. He was used to exercise in the mornings and then spent most of his time in the gymnasium punching bags, but since he wasn’t able to do it anymore, he had way too much energy accumulated inside of him. He felt like he could ran a few miles, maybe do a few push ups or…

“Next time, we will try parking near some trees” Jane’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

He glances at her and snorts, “Yes, your majesty” She rolls her eyes, and Bucky continues his work.

He is almost done when he hears the door being slammed closed _again_ , and he purses his lips, nostrils flaring as he turn to scold Jane again. She has the gold dagger in one hand, and she reaches for the bottle of water and washes the blade, leaving the empty bottle on the hood of the car before she starts cutting the seam of the jeans.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking these off” She says matter factly, pulling from the ripped jeans.

Bucky scowls, “For wh-“

Jane pulls once hard and rips the jeans, before she starts kicking the jean sleeve off her leg, grunting when it gets caught in her boot. Bucky stares, confused as to why exactly is she doing so, until he realises it is probably too hot for long jeans, and that shortening them is a good idea. Bucky clears his throat as he passes by her, looking for the blankets and the sleeping bags in the backseat.

“Be careful with the blade” He says, tearing his eyes away from her as he walks towards the tent again, and throws everything inside. 

“I cleaned it already” Jane retorts, “I think most of it got in you though” she continues, and so does the sound of fabric being torn. 

Bucky chuckles, “Try not sounding too glad” 

“I didn’t” Jane hurries to say.

He looks at her over his shoulder and offers her a smile, which she returns accompanied with a relieved sight. Bucky glances at the result of what she was doing and then back at the tent, pretending he is still tying nods or doing something. Jane stands behind him then, and puts a bottle of water against his cheek. 

Bucky turns to her, “Thanks”

Jane nods, and drowns the rest of her bottle of water. Bucky takes a long sip of his, almost chocking when Jane reaches for his jaw and rubs it, he scowls, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You look weird” Jane chuckles, taking the half empty bottle from him, “With the beard”

He rubs his jaw self consciously, “What do you mean?” 

And maybe Jane notices because she shakes her head softly and chuckles, “Good weird” she says moving away to throw the bottles through the window, “Handsome even” 

Bucky raises and eyebrow.

She turns and tilts her head in a cat-like manner, “But it might be the heat that is making me have hallucinations” she says suppressing a smile. 

“Ha fucking ha” Bucky says, chuckling anyways shaking his head softly, “You look sun-burned”

She narrows her eyes playfully and, without any warning, throws water at him from the bottle in his hands. 

“What the- Jane!” He exclaims, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

“ _Her majesty_ was expecting a compliment back, James” She raises an eyebrow.

He snorts, “’Hallucinatively handsome’ is a compliment?”

“ _Hallucinatively_ is not even a word” She raises an eyebrow, and squeezes the bottle on him again. 

Bucky bites down a smile and tries taking the bottle from her. Jane barks out a laugh and tries to wrestles it out of his hands, elbowing him playfully as he grabs her waist. She ends up pouring the rest of the water on them both in the process. It’s not bad at all, since the water is refreshing, so Bucky reaches for another bottle and unscrews the cap to take a long sip, and then pours some of it on his hair and face. Jane wipes her face with a chuckle, eyes on him and she reaches to tousle his damp hair.

“Now, when you look happy” She smiles sweetly at him, “you look handsome”

 

* * *

 

For the first time since she had known Bucky, his lips split into a smile. Not just a hint of it or one he tries to hide, but a genuinely wide smile that shows his pearly white teeth, and reaches his eyes wrinkling each corner of them. And then he pours the rest of the bottle in his hands on the top of her head, making her open her mouth in shock and raise her hands in surrender.

“Now” He winks, “You are wet”

Bucky turns to reach for the dagger left on the roof of the car and walks towards the trunk, throwing it there alongside the empty water bottle in his hands. Jane follows him with his eyes, trying hard not to smile, and then shakes her head and turns to enter the tent, wanting to get some shelter from the sun. She remembers the iPod was in her pocket, and sighs relieved when she realises it didn’t get wet. The tent is big enough for her to be able to stretch her legs, and she sits on the blankets and unlaces her boots before she starts fidgeting with the iPod. She leaves it aside as she peels of the damp shirt she is wearing, glancing outside to make sure Bucky isn’t around. Jane reaches for the bottle of water she brought with her and pours some into the shirt, before dragging it across her skin. 

“Are you going to take a nap?” Bucky asks from the outside. 

She jumps slightly, covering herself as a reflex, but when she lifts her gaze, all she can see through the tent’s threshold is from his hips down, like he knows he isn’t suppose to go in.

“I… I don’t think so” she answers, “No”

Bucky hums and walks around the tent. She tries to follow the shadow he casts against the fabric, like in the cinema, but he is gone after a few seconds, to the car that is parked next to the entrance of the tent instead of infront of it. After a few minutes she changes into a clean shirt, frowning when Bucky remains silent outside, she plugs her earphones in but doesn’t play anything, wanting to hear what he’s doing. The car’s door opens again, and after a few seconds he closes it softly – he never slams it like she does – a few more seconds pass and she starts hearing a clicking sound, three times each time he… Does whatever he is doing. 

Jane bites the inside of her cheek and sighs heavily, reaching for her boots to see what he is doing. 

 _Bang_.

The sound is almost deafening, and she freezes before practically running from the tent - with only one shoe on and the other half way – to see where did it come from.

“What the-“ 

She scowls when she sees Bucky with the gun in his hand, arms stretched as he points at a some lined up empty cans a few feet from him. Bucky glances at her and straightens, hiding the gun as if she hadn’t already seen it. Or heard it.

“Explain” Jane says.

Bucky shrugs, “I wanted to see if I could- you know” he waves the gun. 

“Oh” Jane nods, “You gave me a fright”

“Sorry” Bucky licks his lips, “I thought you would be listening to that” he nods at the iPod still in her hand.

Jane looks at it and then back at Bucky, “Yeah no” she wraps the earphones around it and then puts it in her pocket, trying to get the boot on at the same time, “Are you any good?” Bucky frowns, “The gun. Shooting.”

“Ah” Bucky scratches his stubbled jaw, “Not really” he says, “Yondu just explained how to load it and… Stuff.” 

Jane hums, “Have you fired a gun before?” 

Bucky makes a face, “Not really”

“Yeah… Me neither” Jane looks at the empty cans, “I’ve seen it in movies though” she adds for what it’s worth, “seems easy to shoot” 

Bucky chuckles, “Hitting the target it’s what’s hard, I guess” 

Jane dimples at him.

“Can I try?” She asks after a few seconds. 

Bucky seems to consider it, before he looks at the gun in his hand and the back at her, nodding after a few seconds. Jane walks towards him and Bucky puts the gun in her hands, he explains briefly what she has to do and he stands closer to her when he lets go of her hand.

“Hold it tight” He says, “And… Just point and shoot I guess”

Jane looks at him with the corner of her eye and chuckles. She takes a deep breath gripping the gun tightly, and Bucky puts his hand on her shoulder and another one on her hip, moving closer and closer, until her back is flushed to his chest. He whispers to count to three to her, so she does, and then squeezes the trigger. The sound is even worse up close, the gun sort of vibrates in her hand for a fraction of a second and there is an unpleasant ring on her ears accompanied by a flash of a bad memory. 

“ _Christ_ ” Bucky says under his breath, “You hit it” 

Jane blinks several times, “What?” 

Bucky looks pleasantly surprised when she looks up at him, and when he looks at her a smile pull from his lips. Jane looks ahead, at the cans a few feet away from them, and then notices the small hole in one of them.

She swallows thickly. 

“Do it again” Bucky tells her. 

Jane licks her lips and hesitates before nodding. But when she starts rising the gun another flash, another bad memory crosses her mind.

“I- I don’t know if I like this” She says hesitantly.

She looks at him.

A small frown appears between Bucky’s brows, and after a few seconds he nods, “It’s okay” he takes the gun from Jane’s hands, “At least we know there’s one thing you are better at than me” 

Jane snorts, elbowing him softly and Bucky reaches to swipe a curl off her face. Jane stands on the tip of her toes and kisses his cheek, which he sort of accepts but also finds confusing, judging by the look on his face when she pulls back.

“Why was that for?” 

Jane shrugs, “Consolation prize”

Bucky lets out a breathy laugh, giving a few steps away from Jane. She leaves to the tent again, and when she is inside laying on her sleeping bag and a few blankets, her boots off and earphones on, Bucky shoots the gun again. She waits a few beats and hears him clicking and cocking the gun again. And again. _And Again_. So she turns on the music as loud as she can, until the outside world disappears.

It isn’t until about an hour later that Bucky finally gives it a rest. The sun is less hot, and the tent inside is cool enough. By now, Jane had listened to about fifty songs and hadn’t been able to take the nap she had been planning on taking after Bucky suggested it. Jane sees Bucky open the door of the car, reaching for something inside – or maybe leaving the gun inside – before he closes the door. He walks towards the entrance of the tent and stops to turn like checking their surrounding. Jane wants to tell him to stop being so paranoid, but she just shakes her head and chuckles softly, and when she is about to look at her iPod, Bucky reaches for the hem of his white shirt and lifts it to wipe his face.

The blue jeans ride low on his hips as he lost the black belt he used before somewhere along their ride, and her eyes travel across the v shaped cut in his lower abdomen before they rest in his sculpted torso. She bites her bottom lip. Bucky takes the shirt off then, and starts toeing his boots off and Jane isn’t able to see his face, but she knows he looks around before he crouches to enter the tent with her. Jane swallows realising that they are going to have to share the tent later that night.

She lets out a deep breath.

“What’s this?” 

Jane turns to him. Bucky accommodates and shows her a small bag that Letitia had put in the box of supplies she gave them. 

“Black liquorice” She answers, reaching for the bag. 

Bucky lets her take it, “Candy?”

Jane nods, ripping the bag open with her teeth, “Here” she reaches for one and offers it to him. 

He takes a bite and chews several times, as Jane observes his reaction. 

“It’s good” Bucky says, reaching for more. 

Jane leaves the bag between them and goes back to the iPod, she sighs, “I should have brought one of those books with me” 

Bucky looks at her, “You are bored?” he asks mouthful.

“Kinda” Jane shrugs, “There is not much to do in the end of the world” 

“The end of the world” Bucky chuckles, he lays on the blankets then, staring at the ceiling, “The sun goes on shinning and the sea rushes to shore”

Jane’s lips quirk upwards, “You heard the song” she says, laying in the same position as Bucky, realising that he had in fact listened to the playlist she made for him. 

Bucky hums, “I heard about twenty of them” he says, licking his thumb before he reaches for more liquorice.

Jane’s eyes follow the movement, her mouth feeling dry as she remembers that Bucky still shirtless and they are a bit too close now that she decided to lay with him. Next to him. Now that she decided to lay next to him. Jane takes her hands to her stomach, where there is a fluttering feeling blooming, and she clutches her hands nervously, before remembering that Bucky made her promise she wouldn’t do that anymore. She starts playing with her fingers then, twisting them almost nervously as she glances at Bucky. 

“Did you turn out to be anywhere near as good as me with the gun?”

“That was beginner’s luck” Bucky retorts. 

Jane rolls her eyes playfully and shakes her head. 

“I guess I’m a fist fighter, not a gunfighter” He chuckles, “Maybe with some practice…” he shrugs. 

There is a short pause, and Jane sees Bucky glance at her a few times, like checking if she had fallen asleep. She did feel a little sleepy but it would be dark in a couple of hours anyways. Bucky moves into a sitting position, as he reaches for the bottle of water he left near his feet, unscrewing the cap to take a long sip. Jane’s eyes travel through his muscular back as she stares at the scars there, and she can’t tear her eyes off them, hands twitching to reach and touch him. They aren’t ugly to her, they sort of suited Bucky in an odd way, like she couldn’t imagine him without them. But then again, if he hadn’t gone through what he did to get them, maybe Bucky would really be happy. And he would smiled more like he did that afternoon.

She would really, _really_ love that.

“At least is no longer hot as hell” Bucky chuckles, turning to glance at her over his shoulder.

Jane blinks several times and then nods, “Yeah”

Her eyes dart between his back and his face and he seems to notice, frowning slightly before he clears his throat.

“I’m going to get the coats from the car” He says, “Be right back” 

He stands and leaves the tent, and Jane can’t help but follow his sillouette.

She sighs, “I’ll be right here” 

When she plays the music as loud as she can this time, the world doesn’t disappear, and neither does the voice inside her head asking her about Bucky.


	9. Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from "[Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2LQdh42neg)" by Cigarettes After Sex.

“We’ll be there by tomorrow” 

Jane turns to Bucky, weariness showed over her face. They had been traveling for four days non-stop and the car was starting to feel more like a cage than a way to escape. They didn’t make many stops, taking turns driving day and night only stopping when completely necessary, or when the both of them were way too tired for either of them to take the wheel. Apart from that, they were running dangerously low on supplies. The one thing that was significantly better was… Them. After leaving Glassmere, Jane felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest, and after spending more time talking than ignoring eachother Bucky started to act more comfortable around her, making conversation more often than he used to – Jane was still the one who talked the most. Sometimes, she still found herself choosing her words carefully when they talked. 

Along the way, Jane realised that Bucky wasn’t quiet just with her, it was the way he was, and she liked it. She could fill his silence when she knew he wanted to, and knew how to keep silence when she had to. 

Like right now, when Bucky is looking at the horizon through a pair of binoculars that he found under the driver’s seat – maybe left there by Rocket or Mantis – because he knows his home is that way, and he is considering driving all night so they could be there in the morning instead. Jane leans against the car, as she looks in the same direction, where the sun is setting already and taking the warmth with it. As they moved closer to the sea, to Catalean, Jane noticed the Desolation air was humid, she could feel the chilly breeze during the afternoons coming from the east, and the nights remained cold as always. Bucky insisted on keeping watch during the nights, and Jane had stopped telling him it wasn’t necessary since she almost always woke up to find him asleep next to her. The nights he did stay awake she wasn’t able to sleep, but never joined him outside the tent, where he sat near the fire until the morning arrived. 

Jane stares at the back of Bucky’s head until the man finally turns to her, walking towards the car before he throws the binoculars inside. 

“We should rest” 

She throws her arms in the air, “Finally!” 

Bucky rolls his eyes a smile small on his face, opening the trunk, “You are going crazy inside the car too?” 

Jane makes an agreement noise, glancing at Bucky, “Need help?”

The man snorts, “Last time you tried arming the tent it fell on us while we were sleeping”

“You wouldn’t help me” Jane retorts, pursing her lips.

“Because you said you could to do it alone”

“After _you_ told me to do it alone”

Bucky closes the trunk, arms resting on top of the car as he looks at her with narrowed eyes. He’s annoyed, she knows the face and the posture he uses when she has annoyed him, and most of the times it’s because he is about to admit that he too is at fault in the situation.

“I have a better idea” He says, opening the trunk again, the folded tent that was left on the floor is thrown back in there, “Let’s sleep on the car tonight”

Jane raises an eyebrow, “Really?”

Bucky shrugs, “Sure” he says, “I have something to show you, by the way” 

She straightens with sudden interest. Bucky closes the trunk again and walks around the car, opening the driver’s door and reaching under the seat. Jane frowns, and walks towards him as he pulls out a book and turns to her. 

“I took it from the box in Glassmere” Bucky says with mild embarrassment.

Jane frowns softens and she reaches for the book, “And now you feel bad for taking it?” 

“Not exactly” Bucky makes a face, “I figured you would change your mind”

Jane looks at the cover of the book. A worn out third edition of ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea’ by Jules Verne. It was her favorite book when she was little. the copy in her hands it’s the one she had given to Darcy for her tenth birthday – she remembers Darcy pretending to actually like the present – and maybe Letitia had found it in her possessions when they searched the remainders house.

“I quite enjoyed it” 

She lifts her gaze, “You read it?” 

Bucky scratches the back of his head, “Yeah” he nods, “When I stayed up to keep watch” 

Jane smiles softly, “Thanks” Bucky nods, “Did you take anything else?” 

“No”

The answer comes too fast, and Jane cocks an eyebrow at Bucky. The man sighs, and reaches under the seat again, pulling out a bottle of Sweet wine.

“I didn’t drink any of it” He says, “I thought I would need it to be able to sleep, but I didn’t” 

Jane remembers the nightmares he had, the ones that he drowned with alcohol while he was in Arcadia, and she is relieved that he doesn’t seem to have them anymore. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he remembered Steve and what happened to him, or maybe it’s because of her. Because just like she feels safe and sound with him, he does with her.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane stays quiet for a bit too long. She doesn’t look upset about him taking the book or the wine from Glassmere, she looks… Relieved. For whatever reason that is, he doesn’t really mind. He glances at he car, where Jane would sleep that night for her own relieve, and then at her, clasping his hands together.

“I’ll get the fire ready”

She tilts her head, “Aren’t we sleeping in the car?”

Bucky shrugs, “I like sleeping outside” he says, and when he catches her frowning he adds, “You can join me” 

He doesn’t mean to say it so nonchalantly – or at all – it sort of slips out.

“That’d be fun” Jane says, nodding her head, “I’m going to get something to eat” she tells him, and waits a few beats as if she’s waiting for him to say something else. 

Bucky clears his throat, “I’m going to start the fire” he repeats.

Jane shrugs and opens the passengers door to slip inside the car.

“Ok” Bucky says under his breath, “Ok”

They had been more comfortable around eachother the past few days, talking about anything and everything that came to Jane’s mind, since she was the one who initiated the conversation most of the times, and the silence that followed was always a calm one. Granted, he sometimes lost his patience with her, snapping with some rude comment that she either returned or shrugged off, depending on how bad it had been. He felt awful afterwards, specially when she remained quiet, but never found the correct moment to apologise and Jane never held it against him afterwards.

Jane was kind to him. Enough to take her time when couldn’t find the words to answer her questions or to keep the conversation flowing, to share her ration of food – he mentioned she ate like a rabbit, except when they were eating sweets – and to offer to drive despite being as tired as he was. Jane was also much more patience than he was, he knew because she never lost her temper, even when she was visibly irritable she chose to remain silent. He thought it was something she had been taught, to hold her tongue, but he never asked. Something she did often was trying to tell Bucky about things she liked – e.g. when she made him a playlist after he said he didn’t really know about music – she had narrated a summary of three book and eight movies to him while he drove, when it was her turn to drive they listened to music while she told him about the artists she recognised. She always told him Darcy knew more about music, her thing was books. 

And Jane also made him laugh. It was always a small joke or jab, a pun only she understood and explained afterwards making him smile about it anyways. Jane made him feel happy. 

The problem was, all that made Bucky fall in deeper for Jane, despite that voice inside his head, the skeptical (or realistic) part of him constantly reminding himself that ending up with Jane was impossible. As impossible at it was for snow to fall on them right in that moment. And the reason he stayed up all night instead of sleeping in the tent or the car with her, was because he didn’t want to get used to wake up with her next to him. He didn’t want to get used to be with Jane at all. 

“You done?”

Bucky turns to Jane, who is leaning against the car chewing on a piece of licorice. He had already made the fire, small but big enough to keep them both warm. When Jane asks how did he learn that – make fire with dry branches and tumbleweed – he tells her that when he started planning his escape, Coulson had told him about how empty Desolation was, and prepared him for long days driving and cold nights in the desert.

“Also, I have a lighter” Bucky says, opening the trunk to reach for the sleeping bags. 

Jane suppresses a smile, rolling her eyes almost fondly, “I genuinely thought you had been doing it with rocks or rubbing sticks”

Bucky snorts leaving his sleeping bag on the ground, “Rubbing sticks” he throws Jane her sleeping bag and closes the trunk.

Jane frowns confused and he waves her off. 

She leaves the sleeping bag rolled on the ground, and reaches inside the car for the blankets and the box of supplies they had gotten in Glassmere. Bucky frowns, pausing for a moment to see what she’s doing. When she puts the blankets on the ground, piling them up and then sitting, he understands she is actually planning on sleeping outside with him.

“Why the box?” He asks. 

Jane looks at him, unfolding her sleeping back, “We are having a celebration diner tonight”

“Are we now” he chuckles, picking his bag and taking a seat next to Jane. 

“Think about it, Buck” Jane says, “By this time tomorrow we are going to be sleeping in a bed” 

Bucky had told Jane that Catalean was a colony that people visited often, whether it was people from other colonies or Desolation travelers. He remembered from when he was a kid that people liked visiting the beaches, and since it was a large colony they were businesses like hotels and restaurants. Jane made him promise they would go to one so they could sleep on a bed, have a long shower and eat a warm meal. Truth was, he was also dying to get either of those things.

He accepts a can of food and a bottle of water from Jane, then she gives him another can, and another. 

“Are we eating all the food?”

Jane makes an agreement noise, “All of it goes before we reach Catalean” 

His lips quirk upwards, “Alright”

“Including this” She shakes the bottle of Sweet Wine, leaving it in the middle of the both of them. 

“You want to get drunk?” He says amused.

Jane chuckles and rolls her eyes, “It’s a celebration” She says, opening the can in her hands. 

Bucky chuckles and shrugs, “As you wish”

A sound in the distance make them both look up. Jane shrugs it off quickly, if it was an animal the fire would scare him away, but Bucky looks around with narrowed eyes, as if he’s suspicious of something. Paranoid. He hears Jane sigh heavily next to him, and when he turns with a questioning look she simply stares.

“You need to stop being so paranoid”

Bucky cocks an eyebrow, “Paranoid?”

“You worry too much, still” Jane licks her lips, “We are miles and miles from the people that- from anyone really” She says, trying to open the can. 

“I’m not worried about that, I’m looking out for the Rangers” Bucky looks at her, and she is scowling, “Desolation Rangers?” 

“Who the hell are those?” 

“They are like the Ravangers, scouting for stuff from the old word to sell or exchange” He explains, the only difference between the Ranvangers and the Desolation Ragers was that the Ravangers traveled in packs, while the Rangers were normally one or two people.

“Are they dangerous?” 

Bucky shrugs, “Everything in Desolation is dangerous”

Jane hums understanding, and makes a yelping noise when she is finally able to open the can in her hands. 

“Promise you won’t worry tonight” Jane tells him. 

Bucky looks up from his can to look at her, and she offers him a small smile. He nods and a smile pulls from his lips. Jane’s smile widens and she reaches for the bottle between them, unscrewing the cap. 

“Shall we begin?”

 

* * *

 

“…And then Steve puked on the deck and I had to clean it off alone since he was way too sick to help”

Jane’s laugh fills the air, accompanied by Bucky’s breathy chuckle. 

He leaves the bottle near his feet and leans back on the blankets, laying on his back as he looks up to the sky. The night had turned out to be a chilly one, but the fire was doing its job at keeping them warm, and the alcohol in their systems helped. Sweet Wine wasn’t the kind of drink that got one wasted – like Bucky’s bourbon – but it provided a pleasant buzz that washed away all worry, and made her muscles feel relaxed. Bucky’s laugh dies down and Jane hugs her knees as she too looks at the stars. There weren’t any clouds, and the moon shone brightly over their heads, the sky a black mantle with tiny shinny dots all over, and Jane recognised each and every single star she saw. 

“I can’t believe I remembered that”

Jane looks at Bucky over her shoulder. He had been telling a story about his childhood, one of the many memories he had been able to recover from his past. Steve and him skipping school to play on one of the boats at the dock. She doesn’t remember how they end up talking about it, but as the alcohol left her system she felt more present in the moment. Bucky was way less of a lightweight than she was – He had a fast metabolism too, which is why he was always left hungry after they ate their rations – it had taken him a lot more to start getting chatty, the blush on his cheeks appearing long after hers were crimson, and she couldn’t help but wanting to reach and squeeze his cheeks. Or kiss him. 

“What?” Bucky asks, running a hand through his his face, “Do I have something on my face?” 

“Apart from the Gandalf beard” She shrugs. 

Bucky snorts, shaking his head softly. Jane dimples at him, remembering that he said he liked hearing her talk about Lord of The Rings. After a few seconds she decides to lay in the same position he is in, enjoying the warmth and smell that emanated from his body. His eyes remain looking at the sky, as if he was reminiscing about his time in Catalean. Jane’s hand remain over her belly, resisting the urge to reach for him, she would like to lay her head on his chest and have him hold her tight, she knows by now that it isn’t the alcohol that makes her feel that way because even with her mind as clear as the sky that night, she knew that what she felt for Bucky was real. And also out of the question. They were… Traveling partners, and that was a good thing she wouldn’t want to risk. 

“I like talking to you” It sounds like a confession, and when Jane looks at him, she realises he is all sobered up too.

Jane turns his head to him, and he does the same. They hold their gazes for a few seconds, Bucky then reaches for her and swipes a strand of hair from her face, smiling sweetly at her before he breaks their gaze. 

“It makes it easier to remember” 

“…You could try to tell me more” Jane says, “Do you want to play twenty questions?” She asks.

Bucky chuckles, “What?”

She slaps his chest softly, “It’s a game” she looks at him, “I ask you twenty questions and you ask me back” 

“If it’s called twenty questions and two people are playing it,” He starts, “shouldn’t we ask ten each?” He cocks an eyebrow and looks at her. 

Jane rolls her eyes and snorts, “Fine, ten questions”

Bucky turns his body to her, resting his head on his hand. It reminds Jane of some kind of marble statue she has seen in art books, or some art painting that could be hung in a museum.

“Go ahead” He says.

She didn't expect him to agree, so she feels blindsided for a second.

Jane hums and tilts her head, "What's your favorite color?"

He considers it for a second, "Orange" Jane wrinkles her nose, "What?"

"Orange is kind of ugly"

Bucky chuckles, "When the sun peeks in the horizon at dawn, the sky turns a nice shade of orange"

Jane smiles softly, her mind painting the image in her head.

"I like it" He shrugs, “Did you ever travel outside your colony?”

“Once when I was sixteen, me and my father went to Roseburn” she answers, “They celebrate the strawberry harvest with a festival” 

“How is Roseburn?” He asks.

“Windy” Jane answers, trying to remember something else, “It was my first time outside of Glassmere” Bucky smiles softly and she stares at him for a few seconds, “Tell me about your first fight in the Pit”

Bucky rubs his jaw, looking at some point in the distance, “It was against Rumlow actually”

Jane rests her chin on her hand, and they are so close she can see the flame of the fire keeping them warm, reflected in his eyes.

“I was seventeen or sixteen, I think?” his lips quirk upwards, “Erskine had said that my first fight was the most important, I had to at least make the other guy look as bad as I did once we finished”

“Did you win?” 

Bucky nods, “I knocked him out five minutes in”

Her eyebrows shoot up, “Did you look like this when you were sixteen?” She looks between them.

“Why?” He raises an eyebrow.

“If you didn’t I wouldn’t believe you” Jane says, teasing tone laced in her words.

The man chuckles, “Fighting isn’t about who is bigger or stronger most of the times, it’s about who is smarter and faster”

Jane pouts her lips, “Are you saying I could beat you up?”

Bucky barks out a sonorous laugh, and he takes a hand to his chest as he does. Jane shoves him softly, unable to not chuckle at his reaction. He moves into a sitting position to reach for the almost empty bottle of wine, and unscrews the cap with his teeth, spitting it away. Jane stares at the back of his head for a few seconds and then Bucky continues talking, a soft spoken tone since he knows it’s so quiet is possible for her to be able to hear him even if he was whispering.

“Beat me, maybe, beat me _up_ never” he says finally, “I did both to Rumlow though”

“You’re just flattering yourself now” Jane shakes her head.

Bucky takes a swing of the bottle. Jane stares at his adam’s apple, bobbing as he took a long sip, before he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He offers the bottle to Jane, for her to drink the last of it, and she moves to a sitting position before reaching for it.

“You said Darcy took you to parties” he says, and she nods playing with the rim of the bottle, “But you said you didn’t have many friends…”

“It’s ten questions Bucky, not ten things you know about me” Jane deadpans.

“Okay, okay” Bucky chuckles, “Did you ever enjoy them?”

It was an odd question, more about her experience with something than if she had them or not. Jane considers it for a second, she loved Darcy, spending time with her, but whenever there were more people with them, it was Jane who felt like the odd one out, instead of the five or ten other people Darcy normally hung out with. 

“I enjoyed being away from my home” She admits, “But being around other people was… Exhausting” 

Bucky hums, and after a few seconds he talks, “You tried hard to fit in” he says, “When you were suppose to stand out”

Jane finds herself smiling and unable to look away when he looks at her. Sometimes she wonders if Bucky really thought that way about her or if he only said those things because Jane sounded sad, her life sounded sad. But in that moment Jane feels that Bucky means it, because Bucky knows is better than most people she have had in her life. Without Bucky noticing Jane moves closer to him, leaving the bottle aside. 

“Are you nervous about going back to Catalean?” 

A few seconds pass.

“Not anymore” Bucky answers, “I thought I would be once I was closer but… I’m not, not at all” 

Jane chuckles, “Maybe you unconsciously think that it can’t be worse than Glassmere”

“Maybe” He says, and then glances at Jane with the corner of his eye, “Sorry” 

“’ts okay” Jane sighs, “I would be happy if it isn’t” she adds, “For you” 

Bucky’s lips quirk upwards. A comfortable silence falls upon them, and after a few minutes they both lay back on the blankets. She thinks Bucky would tell her to go rest, to sleep in the car if she felt like it, but they are both better with eachother’s company. Jane is sure Bucky had fallen asleep next to her when he speaks again.

"You told me you were promised to someone,” Bucky starts, Jane turns her body to him, resting her head on one hand, “Was he... Was he good?" 

Jane starts playing with a loose strand of the blanket underneath her with her free hand, considering an answer she didn’t really have, "I don't really know" she sighs deeply, "I only met him once, many years ago"

Bucky frowns, "What was his name?"

"Thor" Jane looks at him, and then chuckles nervously, "Oh god, I don't know anything else… His last name, where he's from, how old is he..." She trails off. 

Bucky looks at her apologetically, "Arranged marriages are always more about duty than love" Jane bites her bottom lip, "If what happened in Glassmere hadn't happen, would you have married him?"

Jane looks at him and answers honestly, "Yes" 

A frown crosses his features, "Why?"

She considers her answer for a few seconds. There is no sound other than the soft wind that had started to blow.

"My family have had the control of Glassmere for almost five decades" She starts, "my father told me when I was little that one day I would be chosen to be the next Commander because the people believed in the Selvig dynasty," 

"That's why you were home schooled" Bucky says, and she nods.

"From the day I was born I was raised to be the perfect leader, and even though I loved the idea of one day being like him, take care of my people and..." Jane trails off, "I didn't realise how much it would take" 

Bucky isn't looking at her, he’s looking at the sky, but he is listening carefully to her words.

"Then as I grew up, I realise I couldn't go to school like other children, I was suppose to greet everyone politely in parties instead of actually enjoying them, I wasn't aloud to play on the snow during the solstice festival..." Jane sighs, "But I understood that those were some of the things I would have to give up to be what I was suppose to be" 

Bucky looks at her then, "Where you happy with that?"

Jane turns to him with a scowl, and Bucky just stares waiting for her to answer. She swallows tightly, his words resonating inside her head, and when she realises she never really asked herself that question, she shakes her head and continues talking, eyes glued to some point above her.

"My father told me about Thor the morning I turned sixteen," Later that day she met him for the first time, "Julia had told me three months prior about certain duties I would have to fulfil as a lady" she starts, "And that my decision would affect many ties Glassmere had with the rest of the colonies"

"That seems like a very heavy burden"

Jane chuckles sadly, "Not for me" she says, "I knew that... I had to sacrifice one last thing to be able to be what I-" 

"What you were suppose to be" Bucky cuts her off, moving into a sitting position, "You would have married a complete stranger just because of some business deal that needed to be closed?" He sounds almost upset at the thought, "Were you happy?" he asks again, looking at her over his shoulder. 

Actually, the first time he asked if she was happy with taking so much responsibility to herself, to miss out on friends and parties. Now, he was asking if she was happy with her whole life. Jane sits, taking some distance from him.

She nods hesitantly, "I would have been happy if-"

"No" Bucky shakes his head, rubbing his jaw, "Were you ever _truly_ happy?" 

The was no trace of anger in his tone anymore, like it had dissipated in a matter of seconds. When he looks at her again, his gaze is questioning, yet his eyes remain soft like his tone of voice, he isn’t scolding her, or demanding an answer, he just wants to _know_. 

"I loved my family, the people I knew, the festivals and Darcy's friends” She finally answers.

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, “What about it as a whole?"

She frowns slightly. 

“You have to look at the whole landscape, Jane” 

“What does that mean?” She asks. 

“The whole should be greater than the sum of its parts” Bucky says quietly, eyes staring above them, “You liked your family, your friends… But what about it as a whole, the life they were part of… What about that?” 

She understood now what he meant, and the answer he wanted presented itself to Jane almost immediately.

“I wasn't happy with how my life had turned out to be" She answers, looking at the pattern in the blanket she is sitting on, “As a whole” 

It feels good to say it out loud, she thinks, but there is still a part of her that feels guilty. The part that she left in Glassmere, the part that died with her father, or the part that remains needing Darcy, the only thing she had left, she doesn’t know.

Jane feels a pang bloom in her belly, she had wasted her whole life in something that, in a matter of seconds, went up in smoke right in front of her eyes. Even Bucky, who had been taken from his home, stripped from his memories and thrown in a world that wasn't his own, had made something for himself. He had overcome what they had done to him, refused to be what they had told him he was supposed to be, and he broke free to get what he wanted for himself. Bucky didn’t have anyone and yet… No. Bucky had Jane, just like Jane had Bucky. She just needed him to say it out loud, so he can make it feel real instead of a dream, or a wish. 

Bucky reaches for her, and wipes a tear that had rolled down her cheek without any warning. Jane moves away from his touch, wiping her cheeks with her hands while she tries swallowing the rest of her tears. Bucky remains in his side of the blanket, and neither know when did they move so far from eachother, but he doesn’t try moving closer or reaching for her again. 

"I'm sorry" He says quietly, "I- Fuck, you just wanted to play twenty stupid questions and I end up making you cry"

Jane looks at him, and realises they had moved away from each other without really meaning to. A physical representation of something both Jane and Bucky had realised often happened between them. Every time they opened up it ended up being too much, and it was always followed by a long silence, before they closed off again and drifted from each other.

One step forward. Two steps back.

A weariness washes over her as the moment stretches a few seconds too much, and this time is her who wants to run. She glances at the car. 

"I’m going to go-" Jane says.

"Listen-" Bucky starts.

He lets out a nervous chuckle and Jane a shaky breath. She looks at Bucky, waiting for him to say something, _anything_ , so she has a reason to stay. His hand slithers over hers, the tip of his fingers ghosting her knuckles before he moves it away.

He looks at where their hands could have met, "I want you to know..." He starts again, "I care about you, Jane" he says, and then he’s looking at her, "At first… At first you scared me- getting too close to you scared me I mean" 

 _Neither would let the other do that_. Jane remembers Bucky saying.

"But these past weeks, I’ve realised you- you mean to me something other than my traveling partner" Jane smiles softly, "I _trust_ you"

Jane’s sight blurs, and Bucky licks his lips nervously.

"And for someone like me, that means... A lot" He adds quietly, "I hope that it means the same to you"

And the feeling in the pit on Jane's stomach, the coiling feeling that twisted her insides and didn’t let her breathe, finally lets go off her. Her lungs inflate and deflate unrestricted.

Bucky’s hands are shaking slightly, Jane notices and sees him rubbing them together, as if to shake away whatever it was that had him then. Jane crawls until she is kneeling infront of him and she sits on her legs, getting as close as she can to him without it meaning something she would like it to be, but not being what they needed right then. They both need reassurance, order in the chaos that they lives had been until they met, and to know that everything that happened afterwards is real. 

"It's more than enough to me, Bucky" she says, "It's... Everything" 

Bucky reaches for a strand of her hair that had fallen to her face, and a smile pulls from one side of his lips when she leans into the touch. His thumb ghosting against the beauty mark on her cheek, and Jane tilts her head slightly enjoying the caress before moving closer and closer, until she wraps her arms around Bucky’s neck. 

“What is this for?” Bucky asks quietly.

She lets out a shaky breath, trying so hard for the tears in her eyes not to fall down, because he has always asked when she hugged him. 

“Because I want to” Jane answers. 

Bucky chuckles softly, almost sounding relieved. And he holds her tightly against his chest.

“As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine” Bucky whispers softly against her ear.

It’s a promise, she knows, and Bucky was the kind of person who didn’t break the promises he made.


	10. My Kingdom Awaits

Catalean was the most visited colony of them all. Mostly because the Trading Market, where the travelers, ravangers, wasteland rangers and whoever was brave enough to walk through Desolation visited, whether it was for business or pleasure. Bucky remembers not being aloud to go, the market being too crowded and by people deemed dangerous. The locals avoided the place, with the exception of those who had or handled businesses there. Because of this, it was filled with places people rented to rest for the night before going back to travel – motels, bed & breakfasts, hostels – and a lot of restaurants and bars. It was the closes thing to a city from the Old World the new one had.

Bucky grips the steering wheel as they cross the tall tower that marks the colony limit, similar to the one in Arcadia, and his fingers twitch almost nervously when he feels Jane’s gaze on him. Jane, who had been looking outside the rolled down window for the past two hours after asking him to roll the windows down, reminding him that he had told her about the salt in the air. She frowns, swiping the strands of hair falling on her face as the wind enters the window, she was no longer wearing her heavy boots, feet naked against the seat. Bucky licks his lips, feeling the faint taste of salt on them.

“When we get there, we should find a place to eat first” Bucky hears her chuckle, “What?” 

He glances at her, cocking an eyebrow when she doesn’t answer. He wasn’t hungry – yet – but with his fast metabolism, he knew that it wouldn’t be long until he started feeling his stomach too empty. He isn’t sure there is any food left, they had eaten almost everything they had left the night before.

“I was thinking getting a place to sleep should be out priority” Jane says, sighing happily, “Oh, Bucky, a bed and a shower”

Bucky smiles, feeling the same relief despite feeling anxious at the same time. Jane reaches for his arm, where the cut was already healed and taps him softly a few times before leaning back again. Bucky shakes his head softly, trying to look back at the road instead of staring at her with a questioning look. The night before he had asked, like many times before, why did Jane keep touching him, kissing him or hugging him, and she had actually answered. _Because I want to_. It echoed in his head a few times, before he finally processed it. He remembers the feeling of having her in his arms, embracing her body against his chest and the smell coming from her hair and skin. If Bucky had been brave enough, drunk enough – or at all – he knows that he would have kissed her, told her that he felt a lot more than he had said. He swallows thickly, wondering if Jane meant something else too. 

“What’s happening?”

He looks ahead. There is a short line of cars, and he realises they look similar to the one he and Jane drive, more Ravangers trying to enter the colony. What is strange, is that instead of being aloud to enter freely – and fast – there is a few men dressed in black, asking everyone to pull over, Bucky sees the man infront of him roll the window down and one of the men in black lean in to talk to him. Jane accommodates on her seat, rolling her window up as she looks at one of the men in black with narrowed eyes. She looks nervous, and he is about to tell her not to worry, when someone knocks hard against the glass of the window. They exchange looks, before Bucky rolls down the window like the man infront of him – who had already left – had done. 

The man doesn’t say anything, he just glances inside like he is looking for something and Bucky sees Jane tense next to him making him feel the need to reach for her. There isn’t nothing in the backseat, they had put everything in the trunk and the man doesn’t look like he wants to check that. After a few seconds, he leans back and gestures Bucky to keep going. Throwing once last glance at him, Bucky rolls up the window and starts driving away slowly.

“Was that it?” Jane asks. 

Bucky licks his lips, “I guess”

Jane purses her lips, “They didn’t even ask for our ID cards” 

“Maybe they don’t care” Bucky answers, “A lot of people come to Catalean, but no one ever stays" 

He doesn’t tell her he never left the colony, she already knows that, and she doesn’t ask anything else. Jane reaches towards the backseat, and his eye dart towards her backside, she was wearing a second pair of jeans she had shortened and they hugged her body perfectly, and he can’t help but let himself stare for a few seconds, gazing at her milky white tights and slender legs. Bad timing. Terrible. Bucky grimaces, feeling the familiar pang of arousal between his legs, and grips the steering wheel focusing back on the road. He needs a shower, to rest, to be away from Jane for a while. Jane acomodates back on the seat and holds his ID card against his chest, he frowns and takes it.

“Just in case” Jane says, and he nods.

 

* * *

 

“Does it look like you remember?”

Despite having ask the same question three times already Bucky doesn’t answer, gripping the steering wheel this time and glancing at her. She presses her lips together and nods, understanding that he wants her to shut up. Jane glances around as they drive slowly through the streets of the most crowded part of the Catalean colony, very few cars driving in the same direction even though Jane had seen at least five trying to enter the colony about twenty minutes prior. Catalean was a lot more overwhelming than Glassmere had _ever_ been, and it made sense since it was at least three times bigger, the roads seem to be endless, splitting in different directions. People walking the streets, crowds and small groups gathering in the corners. The citadel is beautiful, tall buildings and pavement roads, several stores with shinny neon signs inviting them in.

But she can tell Bucky is driving them further from there, for the way buildings and stores disappear behind, and she can see more houses and small businesses. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to be in a the main part of the colony – his survival instinct, not to say paranoia driving him – or because he wants to be closer to the other side of the colony, where they would need to go through to find The Cinders. Just like in Glassmere, where she told him they could stay closer to the limits so they could leave as soon as the sun was out. Jane stares outside the window for a long while, wondering why can’t she see the ocean, like she thought she would, but she can smell the salty air even with the windows rolled up. It’s when she realises the citadel had been left behind them that she decides to speak again.

“At least tell me you know where we are going” She says, turning to Bucky again.

Bucky sighs heavily, “I’m getting us closer to the coast” Jane cocks an eyebrow, “It’s… near where I lived” 

Jane straightens in her seat, “You lived right next to the ocean?” 

“Kinda” Bucky he glances at her, “I lived in- they call it the Cove, it’s near the coast but not as… Nice, I guess” 

“Oh” She bites her bottom lip. 

Bucky had told her he remembered most of the things from Catalean. But he had avoided personal details of his life, with the exception of Steve and the adventures they had together. Jane leans back on her seat, drumming her fingers against her legs as she considers asking Bucky, again, if Catalean still looked like before. After all, it had been almost ten years since he had been taken. The car suddenly comes to a stop and Jane turns to scowl at Bucky. 

“I’m starving” Bucky says. 

Jane pouts her lips, “Me too”

“There’s a restaurant right there” The man points a head, a neon sighs that reads ‘open’. 

She stares for a few seconds, “Shouldn’t we move closer to the coast like you said?”

His brow furrows, “We are”

Jane turns to look around her, and when she doesn’t see anything, she rolls the window down. She had been looking outside the window paying too much attention at the buildings and the people, that she hadn’t realise they were already away from the citadel. She looks around at the broadwalk, that extends for miles left to right, but ahead she can see only sand. The was starting to hide in the horizon, but she couldn’t seen it hiding behind the ocean like she had pictured. 

“Where is the water?” She asks, “The ocean, I thought-“ 

“Low tide” Bucky cuts her off, “Look, we should stay in one of the motels here, eat something and then just rest”

Jane opens her mouth and closes it again before nodding. She feels tired too, and the idea of a warm meal and a soft bed to sleep keeps her from arguing about anything else, it truly is all she needs at the moment. And a bath. Jane runs her fingers through her hair, feeling it greasy and sweaty, before tying it with her hairband. Bucky turns off the engine and unbuckles her seatbelt, like she wasn’t going to do it herself, and then opens his door. Jane blinks in his direction, before he offers a small smile and closes the door. When Jane leaves the car Bucky is already walking away from her, like he is in a hurry, and she looks around before walking towards him. for a second she considers going back and taking her satchel, where the dagger and the gun are suppose to be, but Bucky talks before she can suggest it. 

“Before you ask” He says, a small smile splitting his face, “I do remember this broadwalk” 

Jane looks at him suppressing a smile. He returns the gesture before he puts a hand on her back, guiding her towards the building in the corner. Jane frowns slightly and Bucky looks at a couple of passers-by who laugh amongst themselves ignoring them, before before he walks towards the glass door a few feet from them, and she follows him, both entering the building at the same time. The lighting is dim, and the place is almost too crowded, but Jane’s stomach churns when the smell of food fills her nostrils and she doesn’t really care if they have to eat standing up. Next to her, Bucky seem to catch the smell too, because he inhales deeply a few times and looks around to see where is it coming from. 

“Welcome to Shell’s Kitchen” 

A young woman cocks an eyebrow at them, and Jane doesn’t miss the way she looks at them up and down. 

“Table for two?” 

Bucky clears his throat, “Yes, please” 

“Follow me” The woman says, gesturing them to walk behind her, “We have tables on the patio, the salon is packed, is that okay with you?” it comes out in a overflow of words, and when she turns both of them nod, “Name’s Jessica, by the way” 

Jessica guides them through the crowded salon, and Jane’s eyes dart from table to table, looking at the plates over the white tablecloths. Her mouth waters embarrassingly as she looks at the food – shrimp, fish, fries, chicken? – and it isn’t until she bumps into Bucky’s shoulder that she realises she was distracted by it. Jessica had been talking too, something about the low tide and fishermen, and Bucky manages to make casual conversation about it. She purses her lips as Jessica pushes the door infront of her, guiding them to the backyard of the restaurant. There are a few empty tables, the cold breeze from the night sending shivers down Jane’s sweaty back, the place is illuminated by thousand of string lights and she can see the sun is completely gone, making the sky look golden, purple and pink.

“Romantic, eh?” Jessica winks.

Bucky frowns, “We aren’t-“

This time Jane doesn’t say anything, but he turns to her as if he was expecting her too.

Jessica crosses her arms, “What’s the story then?” 

Jane opens her mouth.

“A very long one” Bucky says, before she can come up with anything, “Can we sit?” 

The woman shrugs, an amused look on her face when she reaches for one of the chairs in the table next to them and gestures Bucky to sit. Jane chuckles, and pulls a chair out infront of Bucky, taking a seat. Jessica gives them the menu and tells them she would come back in a few minutes. When she finally leaves, Bucky lets out a somewhat relieved breath and buries himself in his menu, while Jane glances at him a few times at him, before settling her gaze on hers.

 

* * *

 

“What is it?”

Bucky could almost hear the gears grinding inside Jane’s head as her eyes move up and down the menu. He had seen her wrinkle her nose, pout, gnawed her bottom lip, and bite the inside of her cheek several times for the past three minutes or so. It was almost adorable but also very annoying, two things that Jane could surprisingly be at the same time. He closes the menu, not bothering in pretending to read it anymore, and slides it away from him over the table, before he rests his elbows on the table and leans towards her.

Jane blinks at him, closing her menu slowly.

“Something’s on your mind”

She cocks her head, “Tired, I guess”

It wasn’t the response he was expecting, they were both tired and both knew that. Bucky licks his lips, and he is about to ask again, when Jane clears her throat and looks around before she speaks again.

“Is this a fancy place?”

He is taken aback, but glances around a second later, “Doesn’t seem like it”

“It’s expensive”

Bucky looks at her, her eyebrows are knitted in something he is sure is worry. He glances at the menu again, and sees the amount of credit next to every meal. Jane is concerned about how much he can afford. They hadn’t had the chance to use his credits before, and Jane had never asked if he had enough or any at all, even when he said that her ID card had half of what was his, she hadn’t asked. Bucky suppresses a smile, not feeling ofended at all, and Jane tilts her head confused.

“Don’t worry about any of that, Jane” He finally says, “I got us covered”

Jane hums.

“I don’t mean to be rude “ Her frown deepens, “But how?”

“Savings” Bucky explains, “I wasn’t going to venture into the New World with nothing in my pockets” he scoffs, “I’m not dense”

Jane dimples at him, and then she opens the menu again, “Okay, then, since you are rich…” She trails off and Bucky snorts.

His eyes linger on her for a few seconds, from her unruly curls that now seemed to be cascading endlessly down her shoulders and lower back, to her worn out face and tired brown eyes, to the drop of sweat rolling down her collarbone. And he is so tired too, that he doesn’t realise he’s staring until the droplet disappears between her breasts. _Romantic, eh_. Jessica’s words echo in his head, but he knows there is nothing romantic about the thoughts he is having about Jane in that moment. He runs a hand through his face, feeling the scratch of the stubble when he rests his hand in his jaw. He tries distracting himself by looking at his surroundings, the fresh nightly breeze, the moon already halfway up and the distant sound of the waves. The tide wasn’t going to be low for too long, he thinks, wishing that the sea arrives soon so Jane can see it for herself, maybe they could take a walk on the beach.

See? Those are the kind of nice, proper thoughts regarding Jane that he wished he limited himself to.

“So what’s our story?” Jane asks, closing the menu again.

Bucky blinks several times, “Story?”

Jane nods, “You told the waitress that we had a long story” she rests her chin on her hand, “What is it?”

“Don’t know” He answers, “Don’t think it matters”

“What if someone else asks?” 

Bucky shrugs, “We don’t _have_ to answer”

“What if it’s one of those guards?” Jane pushes, and this time her tone is strained somehow, “I saw a couple more outside, they… They don’t look friendly”

Bucky sees the concern look back in her face. He sighs and looks around, leaning in towards her once again.

“We can’t tell them the truth, obvi-“

“Obviously” Jane interjects and Bucky cocks an eyebrow, “You are a fugitive Legionary and I was some sort of slave”

He grimaces, and Jane manages a smile, “Fine, sure, whatever” he scratches his jaw, “We are _both_ fugitives by the way” he adds.

Jane smile widens.

“So…” She continues, “What about pirates?” She suggests.

Bucky can’t help but bark out a laugh, “What is it with you and pirates?”

“Treasure Island?” Jane shrugs, then waves a hand when she catches his confused look, “No pirates, fine”

“Desolation Rangers” Bucky says after a few seconds, “The closest thing to pirates there is” 

Desolation Ranger – not to be confused with the Ravangers – was the name people gave the ones who traveled through desolation to look for Old World relics. Unlike the Ravangers they didn’t travel in a large group, normally they were alone or in pairs, and they didn’t steal from other colonies.

Jane chuckles, “Okay, okay” she then adds, “So I, a Desolation ranger, rescued you from Arcadia and took you with me to a world of danger and adventure, 

“You rescued _me_?” Bucky laughs softly.

Jane smiles softly and reaches for her glass of water, “I’m not sure yet” she whispers into the rim of her glass, and it’s so quiet he is sure she didn’t mean to say it out loud.

“Are you two ready to order?” They turn to find Jessica smiling at them.

Bucky clears his throat and nods, leaning back on his chair and ignoring the way Jane’s eyes dart from him to the waitress. He doesn’t miss the strange glance Jessica gives him either, but does ignore it. Before she leaves with their order, the woman leaves two glasses of water on the table, and Bucky grabs his glass, drowning it in a matter of seconds as Jessica finally leaves. He catches Jane yawning, her head resting on her hand, as she looks around distractingly.

Jane says, “I hope we can get a nice place to stay”

“I would take any place as long as it has a bed”

She smiles, “True” 

A pause follows, and Bucky can tell Jane wants to say something, or ask him something else. The table Jessica had given them was small and under it, their knees almost touched, he could feel her knee jump up and down anxiously, and she is drumming her fingers against the wood. Jane looks around, and when her gaze lands on him, she quickly looks down at her palms. He rests a hand on her jumping knee, starting to get annoyed and Jane jumps slightly before looking at him again. 

“Stop it” He says.

Jane chuckles, her shoulder relaxing to his touch, “Sorry” she says, “Sorry, I was…”

“Two hundred eighty two thousand sixty eight credits” Bucky says, and Jane frowns, “Three to four fights every week, of every month, for nine years“

Jane’s brown eyes soften, before they turn apologetic, “I didn’t mean to… Offend you”

“It’s not that, you just- Bucky sighs, “I don’t like it when you look so worried”

A small smile pulls from her lips, “I guess we both got used to you being the one brooding all the time”

Bucky chuckles softly, “I guess we did”

When he looks at her, her smile softens and he realises they are both leaning towards each other, and when he feels her squeeze his hand he remembers he still had it on her knee. Jane’s skin bristles under his palm, and he wonders if it’s because of the chilly breeze blowing or because of him. He spreads his palm almost without meaning to, his thumb feeling the smooth skin of her inner tight, her flesh warm under his fingertips as he wonders if it’s possible a comforting touch can turn into a different kind so quickly. Perhaps it could in the state he is in, the same one he has been since he woke up curl up against her and hard between them.

“You are going to love the chowder”

He takes his hand back as if he had been caught doing something bad, and he catches Jane scowling at Jessica, as the woman puts two small bowls between them.

“Smells good, right?”

“Yeah” Jane offers a smile, “Great” 

Bucky leans back on his seat, rubbing his palms against his jeans almost nervously. When Jessica finally leaves, throwing a strange look and a smirk in his direction, he looks around distractingly while Jane eats in silence, and once he starts eating he realises there is a different kind of hunger he needs to satisfy.


	11. I Got You Under My Skin

The night is chilly when they leave the restaurant, and Jessica tells them that if they are looking for a good place to stay, ‘The Eye of the Sea’ is barely a few meters from them, she tells Bucky something else that Jane doesn’t quite catch since she is already a few steps closer to the exit. Jane doesn’t even complain about the bags being too heavy when they get them out of the trunk, Bucky doesn’t offer to carry hers anyways. The idea of finally resting in a bed sends a rush of excitement that ironically enough scares the sleepiness she was feeling away, though she knew not for long. Jane is about to ask Bucky if he could help her with the bags when sees them again, the men in black that almost stopped them from entering the colony that afternoon, they seem to be lurking in the shadows casted by the buildings on the broadwalk. And Jane can’t help but feel like they are watching _her_.

“I’m dying for a shower” Bucky says, he turns realising she isn’t next to him, “Jane?” 

She blinks several times before realising she had stopped walking. Bucky glances around and frowns, taking a few steps towards her. 

“Sorry, I thought…” She glances at the dark corner behind them and sees nothing, she swallows feeling the paranoia settling in. 

Bucky grabs her chin and makes her look at him, “I saw them too” he tells her, “Jessica said that if they see you acting suspicious they will take you”

“Where?” Jane asks in a whisper.

“I rather not find out“ He says quietly. 

She swallows, Bucky sees her scan his face before she nods, “Yeah, okay” 

“Let’s go” 

Jane sees the lighthouse above the building they start walking towards to – the hotel – and wonders if it actually works, before Bucky gestures her to get in. A woman, olive skin and dark hair, smiles when she sees them entering, and Bucky walks towards her with a polite smile on his face. Jane stands on the doorway as Bucky exchange pleasantries with the woman in the counter, she tells him to call her Claire and he introduces himself as Jack, the name on his ID Card – _Jane and Jack, they don’t sound like fake names_ at all, Jane thinks amused – The man explains briefly that they are traveling and need a room to spend the night.

“Let me see what I can do for you, handsome” Claire winks at him, and Jane notices Bucky leans against the counter.

She feels like rolling her eyes at the interaction, and the fact that Bucky falls into a laid-back, almost charming version of himself so easily with strangers – The receptionist back in Haze, Elektra, Esther (kind of), also Jessica… Ok, maybe he just likes women – Maybe he isn’t as bad with people as he seemed to her. The first time they met plays on her head, he had just won a fight and she was his prize, but he didn’t seem happy with either. She then wonders, as he hears Bucky ask Claire if there is a bar nearby, what version of him would she had met if they had met under different circumstances. 

“A Ranger, huh?” Claire says, “That must be… _Exciting_ ” 

Bucky shrugs nonchalantly, “It has it’s perks”

Claire smile widens and Jane does rolls her eyes this time. She sees the woman typing in her computer and it had been a while since Jane saw one, so she walks towards them to look at it up close, leaning against the counter next to Bucky. Claire throws a glance at her and Jane leans back. Bucky cocks an eyebrow and Claire gives her a questioning glance, and for a moment all eyes are on her, so she leans back before they both resume the conversation she hadn’t realise they were having. 

"We have the honeymoon suite available" Claire says. 

Bucky clears his throat, "We-" 

"We are not like that" Jane cuts him off, “Claire” 

A smile splits Claire’s burgundy-tinted lips, "Good to know" and she winks at Bucky, _again_ , "But what I meant to say was, it's the only room available right now"

"Are you sure?" Bucky asks.

_Don’t sound so disappointed there,_ Jack. Jane bites the inside of her cheek. 

"We are booked" she answers with a pout, "with winter coming the market is full of merchants, they have a lot of money to spend and all want a place to sleep" 

Bucky clicks his tongue, “Is it big enough?” 

Jane looks at him.

Claire nods, “And it has sea view” she then adds, “It’s a bit too expensive, but it’s definitely worth it”

Bucky pretends to look at Jane for approval before he turns back to Claire. 

"Give us the room" 

Claire smiles back, and Bucky slides his ID card towards her. The way she smirks make Jane’s stomach churn, specially because they both continue to make a conversation as if Jane wasn’t there. Claire tells Bucky about the low tide, and that the beach looks better when it isn’t like that. Jane knows what jealousy is, but she doesn’t feel entitled to be jealous about or for Bucky, or maybe Claire, whatever. She feels tired, and irritated. 

“In the morning you will see that your credits are worth it” Claire says, returning Bucky his ID card, “Room 5” she indicates giving him two more blue cards.

“Thanks, Claire” Bucky says, “Where did you say I could get that drink?” 

Jane exhales through her nose loudly and takes one of the cards, before she leaves them in their conversation. 

There aren’t many rooms in the hotel, which is small but looks very luxurious – judging by the carpeted floors, and shinny chandeliers – and Jane would ask Bucky about the payment but he had already left clear that he had enough for the both of them. Once again, the debt that Jane feels owes Bucky grows in numbers, despite the fact that he seemed to do it gladly. She walks down the hall staring at the paintings hung on the walls, the white doors with ‘Don’t Disturb’ signs – although she could hear people talking and laughing inside a few of the rooms – and gold numbers on each of the doors. A few seconds later she hears heavy steps behind her, and then Bucky calls her name.

“Jane” 

“Ours is the last one” She says. 

“You okay?” 

Jane glances at him, “Yeah, why?”

He shrugs, “You left sort of in a hurry”

“Just tired” She offers him a smile for the worry look on his face to disappear, “This is us”

Bucky looks at her for a few seconds and nods.

 

* * *

 

 

The room is quite big, almost the same size as Bucky's in Arcadia. He tries not to think about that as he enters followed by Jane, and then closes the door behind them. The walls are orange, beige and blue all over, a combination that should give him a headache, until he realises it looks like the beach would on an afternoon, there are fake starfish and tortoise shells decorating the walls, and portraits of boats and islands he found familiar despite never being on a boat - not a working, moving one at least. Jane practically pushes pass him, leaving her bag on the floor before she throws herself on the bed, over the maroon duvet and brown pillows. 

She sighs happily as she toes off her already unlaced boots and Bucky takes his bag off his shoulder leaving it on the floor, walking towards the bed too. He sits on the bed, bouncing slightly to test the softness of the matters and Jane turns her head towards him, offering a smile. The mattress is big enough for him to feel a distance from her, and his lips quirk upwards when Jane taps the empty side next to her. He reaches for his boots and unlaces them, taking them off before he lays next to her.

"Comfortable" He says after a few seconds, ankles crossed and fingers intertwining over his abdomen.

Jane makes an agreement noise. Unlike him, she is stretched on the bed, but her body covers much less of the mattress than his does. He remembers needing a shower, some sleep and… To be away from her for a while, but now that he knows they will have to share a bed for at least two or three days that would be almost impossible. They had shared a room before, he had slept next to her and close to her, in the same bed too, but he felt like he was on edge this time. Like there was an itch to scratch or… He runs a hand through his face and remembers Claire had mentioned something about a minibar. He desperately needed a drink. And yeah, some kind of… Touch.

“I’m going to shower” Jane announces, sitting on the bed and glancing at him over her shoulder.

_Are you coming?_ He imagines her asking.

He sits on the edge of the bed as Jane stands, when she notices he is reaching for his boots, she pauses and then resumes walking towards her bag. For a second, he thought Jane would ask where was he going but the moment passes and he realises she doesn’t care. He shrugs it off, pulling from the laces tightly. He doesn’t realise Jane is already in the bathroom until he hears the door being locked from the inside. Bucky stands from the bed and walks towards the bathroom door, he leans in and waits until the shower is on so he can leave, almost like he is sneaking out. He isn’t sure why he does it, but he does.

 

* * *

 

 

Claire smiles at him when she sees him.

The vacancy sign in the entrance is off, the lobby is empty, and the glass doors are locked. When he first entered he didn’t notice the television hung on the wall, he wants to ask if it works but he isn’t really interested in watching television at the moment. 

She tells him that her shift is over and that she happens to have the keys to the bar, Bucky offers her a smile and a nod before he gestures her to guide the way. He isn’t sure if he is relieved or disappointed when she takes him to the now empty bar, and tells him to sit and make himself comfortable. The wooden bar is smooth and cold under his fingers as he slides into one of the stools infront of it, the woman glances at him before grabbing two glasses and a bottle from behind the bar before she sits next to him. She smells like coconuts and lime, and her red lips curve up in a smile when she catches him staring.

“Vodka” Claire says, pouring the clear liquid in both glasses.

The woman takes a seat next to him. Close enough that he can feel the heat coming off her body, she crosses her legs and takes a sip from her drink, before throwing her hair off her shoulder and looking at him. She is beautiful, Bucky thinks, full lips, tan skin and beautiful dark eyes that move up and down his body as he reaches for his glass. He feels relaxed, comfortable around her, and he wonders if Jane noticed it. Jane who always looks at him like she knows more about him that she should, he catches her staring more often than not. Bucky wonders if Jane noticed how he falls into a less cautious persona around women in particular. He likes women, the fact that they are soft, playful, kind, and the fact that he has never been hurt by any. 

Not even Natasha, who he did feel abandoned by for weeks after she left. 

Claire Temple is two years older than him. She was born in The Cinders but her parents left when Catalean offered a better opportunity of life. They were merchants, and his mother still works in The Exchange Market, while her father passed away eight years ago. The thought of maybe having seeing her at some point in his early life crosses his mind. The Eye of The Sea is hers, and Bucky asks her if she gets a lot of visitors from other colonies, but she tells him most travelers are nomads and Desolation Rangers.

“Like yourself” She winks at him.

For a second, with the alcohol running through his veins and the pleasant buzz in his head, he forgets about the lie him and Jane told. He manages to smile and nod, as he reaches for the bottle to refill his glass. 

“You’re quiet”

“I like hearing you talk” He retorts, “and I’m not that interesting” 

Claire chuckles, “The life of a Ranger must be a lot more interesting than a hotel receptionist’s” 

Bucky cocks his head, “I spend a lot of time in a car” he answers, “in the desert, rummaging through garbage” 

She stares. 

She knows he is lying.

“Definitely most tiring than a hotel receptionist’s then”

She doesn’t care.

“What about that partner of yours” The woman continues, taking the glass to her lips. 

The rim is tainted red like her lips, and she licks them before she looks back at him. Her feet is caressing his ankle softly, deliberately, and Bucky knows she doesn’t care about Jane, but she wants to ask just in case. He drowns his glass. 

Bucky leaves the glass on the bar, “What about her”

“She looks almost too fragile for the life she carries” Claire says, “The life of a Desolation Ranger that is” 

He chuckles. If she only knew. 

“I’ve learned not to underestimate Jane” He feels a smile tug from his lips, “She’s also very low maintenance” he adds, “Surprisingly enough”

Claire chuckles next to him, “How did you meet?”

Coconut and lime fill his nostrils again as Claire leans towards him a bit more. 

“We crossed paths at the right time I guess” He frowns slightly at his glass, wondering where would either of them be if it wasn’t for the other, “Luck” 

“Luck” Claire repeats, “I would definitely call it that if I _crossed paths_ with you” she huffs out a small laugh, “So you two work together”

He stares at her, “I rather not talk about my work or… Her” 

Claire’s face is split by a smile. 

“Me neither” Her hand slithers against his, “Would you like taking this to my room?”

Bucky smiles.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane turns the shower on despite still having her clothes on. She can see Bucky’s shadow under the door, and she knows he wants to leave already. Once she hears the room’s door open and close, she turns the shower off and leans against the sink rubbing her sore neck. She can’t stand the smell of her sweaty clothes or how heavy they feel, how they look as worn out and dirty as she feels. As she peels her off her body she notices there are two bins under the sink, trash and laundry, and she doesn’t even wonder where her jeans and shirt are going to go. Her feet are already naked on cold tiles and she makes a mental note to throw away her socks too. And maybe also the shoes. 

There is a panel next to the bathroom door that controls the lighting, and she lowers it slightly, her eyes feeling sore for the brightness. When she takes a look at the mirror she realises she looks exhausted, and her nose wrinkles involuntarily before she unties her hair and throws the hairband next to the sink.

“What a mess” She whispers, trying to untangle her hair with her fingers. 

Julia always reminded her how difficult it was to do it, yet never let her do it herself.

It was too long. 

Jane realises as she grabs a fistfull of curls, glaring at the newly discovered knot of curls. She opens and closes the drawers under the sink, finding a small variety kit on the fourth one on the left. There is a nail kit, shower cap, first aid kit, and inside of it a pair of scissors. Her eyes go from the knot to the scissors, to her reflection in the mirror. And before she can think about it thoroughly, she cuts about two inches of hair. She snorts almost amused as the strand of hair falls on the sink. Taking a deep breath she starts making it even. Jane cut Darcy’s hair once, after she accidentally got chewing gum – that they had taken without permission from Julia’s not-so-secret candy drawer – stuck in it. Once she’s happy with the results, and the sink is filled with dark brown hair, Jane looks at herself in the mirror for a few seconds. the curls are now about three inches down her shoulders. Surprisingly enough, her neck no longer feels as sore as it did before.

Jane runs a hand through her hair and resting on her neck. She wonders if Bucky will like it, or if he will even notice. Bucky who is now… She finds herself unable to finish the sentence in her mind, although her brain supply her with a very unpleasant image. Bucky stripping off his clothes in somebody else’s room, his hands roaming across soft skin, pink lips kissing another. Jane’s skin feels soft under her fingers, her nipples perking up as she moves her hands across her stomach. She could have given Bucky whatever he needed. She would have. But he didn’t ask and she didn’t know how to tell him. 

When she steps under the spray of cold water, Jane remembers that she doesn’t have many clean clothes left.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane wakes up trying to push away the heavy weight sitting on her chest.

It isn’t until she realises she’s in the same room she went to sleep in, that she stops trashing on the bed. She stares at the ceiling, trying to calm her breathing down but her hands don’t stop shaking, and she rubs them together trying to shake off the unsettling feeling she got from the nightmare that sent her back to the night Glassmere fell. Jane sits on the bed slowly wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand before she glances at the clock on the nightstand. Almost four hours had passed since she went to sleep, and the dream had scared all sleepiness away. She hugs her knees and takes a few deep breaths. 

The lamp on the nightstand iluminates barely half of the room, and when she turns she sees Bucky rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. She doesn’t know a what time he came back, or why did he at all.

“You kicked me” Bucky says voice rough, before laying back on his pillow.

Jane swallows, “I’m sorry” she takes a shaky breath in, “Just… Go back to-“

“Did you have another one?” Bucky asks, resting his weight on his elbows to look at her. 

Jane stares at him, “Yeah” her eyes flicker between his furrowed brows and his naked chest before she looks away, “I didn’t notice when you came back” 

He moves into a sitting position, “You were snoring already” he says lightheartedly, but when she turns to him with a serious expression he adds, “I went out for a walk”

An explanation she didn’t ask for, but somehow he felt she needed. And maybe she wanted it too. The silence stretches a few more seconds. 

“After having a drink at the bar, I went out for a walk” Bucky says after a few seconds, “In case you were worried” he adds quietly.

“I worry” She says. 

“I do too” Bucky’s blue eyes bury into hers, “Why can’t you sleep?”

It’s barely above a whisper, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear them even though it’s just them in the room. Jane runs a hand though her face and hair, finally resting her head on her palm, as her other hand plays nervously with the ugly maroon duvet. 

“I can’t stop dreaming about that night” Her voice shakes, “I just close my eyes and I’m back at the plaza, and my dad is there, and it’s so cold” She tries not to look at him, “The river of blood flows infront of me…”

Jane hasn’t told Bucky what happened. So she does. Her words come out quietly, and Bucky listens and stares. She starts where Julia wakes her up, and ends it with her being dragged into a car. She leaves out the still blurry details and the reasons why what happened happened, just because she still doesn’t know. She still doesn’t know why is she alive. Jane keeps that question to herself too. 

“I feel like they are telling me something” Jane adds.

“How do you mean?” His voice is quiet, and very soothing. 

Bucky’s muscular body is now closer to hers, and for a second she is distracted by the warmth, until he says her name oh so quietly. She looks at him.

“Like… Yours were” Jane sees him frown and she looks back at her lap, “You used to dream about a boy drowning, and it was Steve… He almost drowned and you-“ She stops herself, afraid she sounds stupid.

Maybe her nightmares are suppose to mean something, maybe she missed something that she needs to know. But unlike Bucky, who didn’t remember Steve or what had happened, she knows and remembers well. Bucky puts his hand on her back, moving it up and down soflty. It’s strange how so little can make her feel so… Safe. _As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine_. When she looks at him, her eyes are clouded with tears and she is _so_ tired. 

“...Can you hold me?” 

He nods, despite the concern wrinkle between his brow deepening. And Jane sniffs, offering him a small, thankful smile. He is so warm, Jane thinks as she lays her head on his chest. She suddenly becomes aware of how cold her side of the bed was, how big and empty the bed would feel without Bucky. 

“I’m here, Jane” 

It’s the last thing she hears before she drifts into a deep sleep.


	12. Small Pieces, Big Picture

The second time Jane wakes up, the dream dissipates like smoke infront of her eyes, and repetitive sound coming from somewhere in the room she is in, the reason why. It takes her a few seconds to fully wake, and when she finally does, she remember she is in the hotel and sleeping in a comfortable bed surrounded by a fort of pillows and blankets. The grunts coming from her right side call her attention again, and she sits on the bed slowly yawning the sleep away. Jane frowns and crawls to the right side of the bed, where Bucky was suppose to be asleep but isn’t, and scowls when she finds the man on the floor. Counting – grunting – lowly under his breath as he does push ups.

“The hell are you doing?” Jane asks, rubbing her eye with the heel of her hand.

Bucky glances at her and then focus his attention back at the floor, “What does it look like I’m doing?” he replies breathless.

She purses her lips, “Yeah, but why?” She lays on her belly, her chin resting on her forearm as she stares at Bucky.

“I have all this energy I need to burn” He starts, “Like I need to run a few miles, punch bags or something” He glances at her, sounding breathless, “I’m not used to sleep in" 

Jane hums. Bucky had probably woken up long before her, he is used to a routine as far as she knows, a strict training regime from his days as a Legionary that include exercising all day, everyday. Some habits are just hard to let go off.

She finds herself staring then, her gaze falling on the sweat on his forehead to the muscles stretching on his naked back, and then his arms flexing as he moves up and down. Up and down. Her eyes fall on his left arm, where the cut was uncovered and already healed. _He does heal really fast_. He catches her staring and she looks away, feeling her cheeks warm and knowing that it was impossible for her not to stare when he has nothing on but the thin cotton pants he was wearing to sleep the night before. When he decided to come back instead of leaving to look for… Whatever it was that he wanted. Ok, she knew perfectly well what _it_ was. Jane feels irked at the thought all of sudden, but then her mind supplies her with another wording for it: _Jealous_. 

Bucky finally stands and rolls his shoulders a few times before creaking his neck, making her wince. He sees her and chuckles. That when she realise he is clean shaven. 

“You…” She gestures at him.

Bucky takes a hand to his jaw, “Yeah”

"Looks good" She says quietly, not sure how he would take the compliment.

Bucky cocks his head in a shy-like manner and smiles softly, whispering a thanks. He then walks towards the curtains on the other side of the room, he gestures her to follow with two fingers and Jane tilts her head, the smiles still on her face. She climbs down the bed and walks towards him. 

“What is it?”

“Wait” Bucky says, reaching for a panel next to the curtains, he presses a button and the curtains start to retract, “There we go” he mumbles looking at the curtains.

Jane glances at him before she looks outside the window. As the curtains open she can see the glass doors behind it, she squints as the morning sunlight pours through the window and once her eyes get used to it, she moves closer. Mouth slightly open in awe, she drinks the sight infront of her, before she looks at Bucky and then back outside.

“I guess it was worth the credits after all” Bucky says, crossing his arms across his chest.

Bucky knew Jane had never seen the ocean before. She had never seen the white sand or felt in under her toes, she had never climbed the rock formations that were where the sea met the shore, or swum in the crystal clear water that looked blue form where they were standing. She puts both hands on the glass and leans in, like she is trying to see more of it but doesn’t know that she can just go. Bucky’s eyes are glued to her, and he finds himself unable to look away.

“It’s beautiful” Jane whispers.

“It is” He agrees quietly, “Jane…”

But Jane isn’t paying attention to him, she walks towards the glass door and opens them. The smell of salt, the warmth, and the sound of the seagulls from outside enters the room interrupting the quiet atmosphere from the inside. With a deep sigh, he follows her outside as she practically runs to see the beach. Bucky stays behind, staring at her from the porch. It’s early in the morning and the sun hadn’t been out enough to make the wooden floor hot, so he doesn’t bother in looking for shoes. It must be the same with the sand, since Jane kneels on it gathering it in her hands like she had never seen anything like it before. He realises then, when Jane stands and walks further from him, that she is wearing one of his shirts. And when the fresh breeze blows and plays with her curls, that her hair is shorter than it was the night before. Bucky wants to keep that image of Jane with him forever.

Jane waves at him and gestures him to join her. So he does.

They are wet and covered in sand when they walk back to the room. Jane walks infront of him, and Bucky can’t help but stare at her legs as she climbs up the five wooden stairs it takes to get from the sand to the porch.

The night before he hadn’t been able to tell Claire that he did want to go to her room. He knew that Jane was the reason, and also that he would regret it once he returned to his room still feeling on edge. He locked himself in the bathroom and masturbated in the shower in record time, and he was thankful that Jane was deep asleep once he reached the bed, falling asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

Of course he was woken up hours later when Jane had one of her nightmares, she told him about them and asked to be held, Bucky couldn’t deny her the comfort she needed. As if he was being punished for it, he woke up with her body warm against him and his cock hard between them. He slid off the bed as silently as possible and went outside to run, burn some of the energy he had accumulated for weeks, he was almost done with the morning routine he is used to when Jane woke up.

“Here” Jane offers him a clean towel before walking back to the bathroom.

He starts drying his hair with the towel as Jane closes the door, throwing a glance at him before she does.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m thinking we should get more clothes” 

Jane says before reaching for the bowl of blueberries in the middle of the bed. Bucky had taken the longest shower he has had in weeks, there was a creak in his neck – probably due to sleeping on an uncomfortable position on the car seat – that he had been unable to get rid of until he stood under the spray of hot water for several minutes. When Jane knocked on his door it was to let him know she was ordering them breakfast, he hadn’t understand that it would be taken to their room until he was out of the shower, already dressed in jeans and a clean white shirt. His eyes move from Jane who sitting on the edge of the bed wrapped in a towel, to the several trays of food splayed across the mattress.

“I’m thinking you ordered way too much food” Bucky says. 

Jane looks at him and chuckles nervously, “Yeah, I…” she looks at the bed, “Definitely”

He shrugs, taking a seat on the edge of the bed but far enough from her. He reaches for the toasted bread and a butter knife, glancing at Jane and then at her robe. 

“So you don’t have clothes” He states, Jane hums, “Which is why you used one of my shirts to sleep” 

“Sorry about that” Jane reaches for a glass with juice in it, “I only have like a pair of jeans and-“ she stops herself, He cocks an eyebrow, “I don’t even have socks”

Bucky eats a pile of waffles in silence as Jane makes up her mind on waht to eat. He observes her as she goes from the fruit to the waffles, to the eggs and finally the bowl of oatmeal, which she sweetens with four cubes of sugar, excesive for his taste but she seems to like it that way. Jane lifts her gaze a few times, catching him staring but he doesn't look away, is only when she gives him a look – a frown and a quirk of the lips – that he looks at the window. Bucky wants to ask if she sleep well after waking up from her nightmare, after she asked him if he could hold her and he did without hesitating. He wonders what she would have done if he hadn’t been there, if he had accepted Claire’s proposal and ended up in her bed instead. Jane had looked genuinely scared – she had kicked him and trashed in the bed like she was fighting someone invisible –covered in a thin layer of sweat, and her hands had been cold as she placed them over his chest.

It had been the first time Jane told him about the night she was taken from Glassmere, he had gotten fragments of the story before but this time she offered the whole picture, and it wasn’t a nice one. She told her about Julia waking her up, dressing her in other clothes and her father kissing her goodbye even thought she didn’t know then that it was the last time she would see them. When she told him about seeing when they were hung, and the snow under her feet and the river of blood running in front of her, he knew he didn’t want to hear more of it, and Jane stayed quiet after that. And he felt so angry that something like that would happen to someone like her. How Pierce could ruin both of their lives the same way when they didn’t even know of each other’s existence.

For only the second time since they have crossed paths, he wondered if they had been destined to meet.

"What is it?" 

He snaps out of his thoughts, "We should make our separate ways" he blurts out. 

Jane’s eyes go wide, a piece of bread hang from her bottom lip. Bucky realises what he just said and shakes his head softly, remaking the sentence is his head. 

"For the day, I mean" He finally clarifies, “We…”

"Oh" She says quietly, “Sure”

Jane resumes her chewing and leaves the rest of the toast aside before she reaches for the glass of apple juice in the tray between them. Bucky scratches the back of his head almost nervously.

"I figure I should go alone"

_Find his home._

__Try to remember more._ _

_Look for Steve._

She tilts her head, scanning his face before she finally nods, understanding what he means. Her fingers tap the glass in what Bucky registers as a nervous gesture, he stares for a few seconds at the slim fingers dance against the rim. The night before, Jane had fallen asleep almost immediately, but her fingers had been drawing invisible patterns on his skin as she breathed softly against his collarbone. He had been afraid to touch her, mostly because she was touching him unconsciously and that didn’t mean she was given her permission to be touched too, but as he also drifted into a deep sleep he found his fingers tangling on her hair and his lips brushing against her forehead. When he woke up, he was snuggled against her back and his arms were wrapped around her waist.

“Thank you”

Bucky looks lost in thought until she breaks the silence. His blue eyes look at her and she finds herself comparing them with the sea she had seen for the first time that morning. 

“For last night” She adds a few seconds later, even thought he knows what she means.

The man nods and stands from the bed, clearing his throat as he reaches for his bag on the other side of the room. He throws a glance at Jane before he reaches inside, and pulls out a pale blue shirt, Jane remembers suddenly that she is wrapped in a towel, and that she doesn’t have clean clothes to wear. Bucky leaves the shirt on the night stand when she doesn’t grab it right away, and she mumbles a thanks while she follows him with her eyes. There is an arm chair in the corner of the room, and he sits reaching under it for his boots, which he probably left there the night before.

Jane waits until he starts tying the up to unwrap herself from the towel and change into the shirt he had offered. She had to pull form the trash can the jeans she had taken off the night before, luckily there wasn’t anything else or else she would have had to go out pantless. _I miss underwear_ , she thinks feeling the rough fabric of the jeans against her butt. As she reaches for her worn out boots under the bed, she makes a mental note to get underwear and some socks too, glaring at the blisters on her right feet. She stands from the bed and walks towards the bathroom where she had left the first aid kit.

When she comes back again with the small, square white box Bucky does lift his gaze towards her. Jane sits on the edge of the bed again examining her toes.

“I got blisters” She offers a small smile, pulling out a few band aids to wrap her finger with.

He hums. When she starts putting her boots on, he finally stands from the armchair and walks towards her, he grabs her satchel from the other side of the bed where she left it the night before and leaves it next to her. Jane pauses mid-tying up her laces and looks at him. 

“I left the dagger inside”

“Do you think that’s necessary?”

Bucky shrugs.

Jane continues trying the laces, “If I were to get in trouble,” she chuckles, “I doubt I’ll be able to open the bag, reach inside for the-“

“ _I get it_ ” He cuts her off, slightly annoyed, “Just… Stay away from the Market” 

She lifts her gaze, “but that’s where the stuff is” he cocks an eyebrow, “To buy” she adds.

“There are plenty other stores around” Bucky says, “The Market is for merchants, you are tourist”

Jane sighs, “Fine”

“Also, don’t go to far from the hotel, you can get lost and if-”

“Bucky” Jane stands from the bed, “I’ll be just fine”

Bucky stares at her, his mouth going in a thin line. He finally sighs and nods, “Feel free to use the card”

Jane’s lips are split into a big smile.

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky stays away from the most crowded part of the colony where Jane had disappeared into the sea of people in a matter of seconds. He walks the streets for a while until he finds himself following the coastline, almost unconsciously. The broadwalk is filled with people but not as crowded as he knows the Market would be. He tries not to think about Jane much, she was going to be fine by herself as long as she kept herself out of trouble, and he did need to be away from her and clear his head. He realises mid-way to the Cove that it was the first time he walked alone like a free man.

After so many years of spending his days either trapped in Zola's tower or having a curfew while he visited the Slums, it felt odd to not have to worry about anything or anyone else. He is reminded of the elephant and the chain but shakes the thought away once he reaches the end of the broadwalk. The sun is bright above him, but the fresh breeze prevent him from feeling too hot. He had left his jacket in the hotel, not wanting to carry it around with him knowing that it wasn't necessary with the weather. He remembers Jane, wearing his shirt and the short jeans, her now shorter but equally wild curls tied in a bun, and he wonders if she is complaining about the heat like she did while they were in Desolation.

"Fuck" he mutters, scolding himself for thinking about her when he should be trying to avoid doing it.

_You should tell her_ , A voice inside his head supplies, _For what it's worth._

They would leave to Cinders soon, where she would join Darcy and maybe – he keeps telling himself _maybe_ – stay with her. He wasn't sure how did Jane think she could get him to Maraud after that, he pictures her writing down some directions or maybe drawing a path in the map she still had in her satchel and then sending him his way. No real goodbye since he had noticed she wasn't keen of them. Not once she had said the word, not when they were at Zola's tower and he left in the mornings, or when she was taken back to Aida, not even that morning before they parted ways for the day. 

But a love confession as a goodbye wouldn't be a proper send of for them. After all they have been through, Bucky would like Jane to think of him as... Her friend. The world saviour comes to mind but it seems conceited. 

_She saved me too._

And in more ways than one. The rational part of his mind tells him then, that maybe he was confusing being thankful with being in love.

“Are you lost?”

A voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he turns to find a woman, long hair and pale blue eyes, looking at him with a frown on her face. Bucky realises he had been standing in the same spot for a while now, and maybe even walking in circles since he can still see the broadwalk he had supposedly left behind a while ago. 

“What are you looking for?” 

Bucky cocks an eyebrow, “I’m going to the Cove”

The woman nods, “You are walking the wrong way then” 

He frowns, turning around to try to locate himself. Truth is he used to get lost a lot back when he was a kid, he had no idea why he thought he could find his way around now that he came back. 

“Isn’t the old dock suppose to be around here?”

The woman chuckles, “They got rid of that a while ago” Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up, “Alongside the wrecked ships and all”

He licks his lips, “How… How long ago was that?”

She hums, eyes narrowing because of the sun, “About two years ago” she answers, “It was around the time the new Commander took charge”

Bucky scratches the back of his head, “Do you know if…” 

He trails off, not sure if he should ask anyone about Steve. The woman looks at him confused when he doesn’t say anything, and Bucky shakes his head weaving a hand. 

“Nevermind” He says finally. 

“I can walk you to The Cove if you like” She says, looking somehow concerned.

Bucky considers it for a second and then he catches two figures with the corner of his eye. Dressed in all black, holding batons and their faces covered by some kind of mask. That’s when he realises the woman doesn’t look concerned over him but over the two men walking a bit too close to her. He looks at her face, eyebrows knitted in concern as she waits for his answer.

Bucky nods, “If you don’t mind” 

She lets out a small breath and offers a polite smile, “Great”

When she starts walking he follows, throwing a glare at the men in black, who simply walk away form them.

“I’m Karen, by the way” She introduces herself, offering him her hand, “Karen Page” 

“Jack” He says, squeezing her hand softly. 

Karen is holding a basket in her arms, and when Bucky offers to carry it for her she lets him. The smell of oysters fill his nostrils and he lifts the top of the basket to peek inside, he was never a huge fan of them but it was a common pass time for kids to go on ‘oyster hunts’. He always thought he could find a pearl inside one of them, but it never happened.

“Thanks for walking me” Karen says quietly, she glances behind her, “the Shadow Men are suppose to make us feel safe but…” 

It takes him a second to understand she is referring to the men in black clothes. Shadow Men, she calls them, and he remembers Jessica had referred to them as shadows. It suits them, he thinks, the name does sends chills down his spine.

“No problem” Bucky shrugs, “I was already told about them” he then corrects himself, “Warned”

Karen nods. 

“What’s their deal then?” He asks, “They just walk around looking intimidating?”

“Well, they are the colony’s protection task force, our new Commander replaced the ones we had with them” Karen crosses her arms, “They are too militarised, and tend to use unnecessary force on people” Bucky glances at her, “Even on the merchants and traders, Ravangers don’t even come around often anymore because of them”

Bucky wonders why didn’t Yondu mentioned them, but he doesn’t ask Karen more about them since she looks nervous just talking about it, instead he asks about the oysters and learns that Karen and her husband, Matt, work at the market selling them to either tourists or the local restaurants. As he walks down the coast listening to her talk, he gets fragmented memories of his childhood, from taking the long way to school because that meant he could walk down the beach toward the pier, buying firecrackers from locals to scare Steve with, racing towards the old dock during weekends, the both of them getting into fights when other kids took ‘their boat’. He isn’t sure if his memories are complete, or accurate, but he is sure that they are real.

Thing is, he isn’t sure if he needs them after all. It feels odd to admit that to himself.

When he was in Arcadia he never thought of coming back home and resume his life, pick up where he had left, get a job, meet a nice woman a settle down, the whole ‘white picket fence’ life, whatever that meant. He just wanted to be free, and Maraud was the only place that could offer him a clean slate. 

Once he had the chance to escape, all he wanted was to come back to know what happened to Steve.

He hadn’t realise he had stopped walking until Karen calls his name – his fake name that is, he forgets he is ‘Jack’ for a few seconds – before she stands next to him. He is staring at a wooden sign that says ‘welcome to The Cove’, now two times bigger with a fresh looking coat of paint.

“Not what you were expecting, huh?”

Bucky looks at Karen with a questioning look. The wind plays with her long strawberry blond hair, and there is a flash of sadness in her eyes as she scans Bucky’s face. 

“You looked lost back there,” She says, “And now that you are in the place you were looking for… You still look lost” 

He looks back at the sign, “Do you know Bucky Barnes?”

Bucky looks at Karen as her breath hitches. She is looking back at him with a curious expression, like she is trying to figure why he is asking. 

“I haven’t heard that name in years” Karen says quietly, “Why are you asking about him?” 

He manages to shrug nonchalantly, and he looks at the sea behind Karen.

“You are wasting your time” Her words should be harsh but her soft tone throws him off, “You are looking for someone who is gone”

_Gone_.

He takes a deep breath in and runs a hand through his face and hair. Maybe he should have asked about Steve instead… The sun was starting to feel too hot, and he was hungry too, maybe it was the smell of oysters or the fact that he had been walking around for longer than he thought. 

“Are you alright?” He feels Karen’s hand on his shoudler, “You look pale”

Bucky nods, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine” He looks at the Cove again, “So… This is it” 

“It is” 

It looks a lot different than it did before, and than he expected it to look. The houses still look small, but the wood looked new, fresh coat of paint covering them and the streets had been paved. He thanks Karen for her troubles, and asks her if she is going to be alright – after all, the Shadow Men seemed to be lurking in every corner – the woman smiles and says that she will be, and takes the basket from his hands. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in the distance before he decides to continue his exploring by himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Three hours later, Jane felt jaded. Earlier that morning the abundance of sound, smells and people of Catalean had been a feast for her senses after spending so much time submerge in the quiet bubble that Bucky and her had created. Now, the same streets that were so peaceful and quiet the night before, were filled with a frenzy of people walking, buying and yelling – specially the further she ventures into the market.

She walks aimlessly after a while, after her shopping bag was already packed with clothes, underwear - she never thought she would be so excited to get a brassiere like she was thirteen again - socks and even perfume. It felt heavy enough but her feet were no longer sore since she had also replaced the heavy, hot boots with a pair of comfortable ‘desert boots’. Halfway through the restaurants area, she realises she hadn’t gotten Bucky anything, other than a pair of sunglasses and a white shirt, but he wasn’t short on clothes like she was – He hadn’t change as much as she did while they were driving, kinda gross but somehow he hadn't smelled – besides, he was probably also around getting himself something.

Jane finds a small place selling ‘hot dogs’ and seats on one of the chairs outside after getting herself one. 

While she eats alone, taking in the life that the crowd breathed into the colony, Jane is reminded of Glassmere during the festival of Winter Solstice, the brightly decorated streets lined with colourful tents and market stalls. She reaches inside the satchel where she keeps a small calendar she hadn’t told Bucky about. 

It’s Saturday, which explains why the place is packet with not only merchants but a lot of locals. A group of children pass running by her and she smiles, wondering if many years ago Bucky would be like that. There are a lot of people coming in with boxes full of merchandise to trade, their ID cards in hand ready to spend their credits. Minutes later Jane finds herself playing a little game where she tries to differentiate "tourists" like Bucky said, from locals.

She looks back at the calendar again, and realises that in a less than a week, four days to be exact, it would be her twenty first birthday. By then, she would have already reunited with Darcy. Bucky would have fulfilled his promise to reunite her with the only person she had left, and she would have to fulfil hers… Getting him to Maraud. She reaches for the wrinkled map, and stares at the lines she had traced a while ago. One night, while Bucky stayed outside the car and she pretended to sleep, she had marked the line from Catalean to Maraud.  It could take a week for Bucky to reach the Freelands if he was willing to cross Ash Valley. She traces the numbers she had written in the corner - the co-ordinates she had gotten using her compass - but she didn’t know if he could understand any of it, or if he could follow the right path… Without her. He needed her just like she had needed him the night before.

She pictures herself and Darcy having a conversation about Bucky, Jane asking Darcy to join them so they can all go to Maraud together. There is nothing in Catalean or Cinders for Jane if she can get Bucky and Darcy for herself.

_How selfish, Jane_. A voice hisses. And she knows.

Because, what if Bucky wants to stay in Catalean? If Darcy thinks is better for them to be in The Cinders?

Maybe Jane is the only one who doesn’t know what she wants. 

After a few minutes dwelling on that thought, she decides to call it a day. She picks up her bags and throws her napkin and empty cup on the nearest trashcan.

As she makes her way out of the market, or tries to since she isn’t sure where the exit is, she catches several people either arguing or trying to avoid the men in black. She had already seen four of them around the restaurants area, and she could tell she wasn’t the only one uncomfortable around them, people hid from them, the screaming, running children slowing down whenever they saw them. Suddenly she feels like they are everywhere, she sees more of them and more often. 

_You are being paranoid, Jane._

But her feet continue to move quicker as she tries to escape the loud crowd – and the men in the shadows – and when she finally reaches a more quiet part of the Market, she has to stop to catch her breath. She leans against the nearest wall and lets the heavy bag hit the floor, as she takes a few deep breaths. This part of the Market looks a lot less busy, there aren’t as many tents either, instead there are stores with ‘open’ neon signs and she can see the inside through the glass windows.

"It looks like they are following you” 

Jane jumps slightly and turns to find a young man behind her. She reaches for her satchel, remembering the dagger is inside. But he simply cocks his head and reaches for her much heavier bag. 

Jane slaps his hand away and grabs the strap of the bag, “What the hell do you think-“ 

“I’m just trying to help” He retorts, rubbing the back of his hand.

She scowls at him, “I didn’t ask for help”

“Well, you looked like you needed it” 

“Well, I don’t” 

The man stares at her with a frown in his face, mouth agape like he is trying to come up with something else to say. The rational part of her head figures that if he was trying to hurt or rob he, he would have already, and she takes a deep breath calming herself down.

“I’m sorry” She says finally, “I just… I’ve never been here so…”

Jane trails off, hoping he understands what she means. He finally nods, and then offers his hand.

"I get it, you can never be too careful" He says with an apologetic look on his face, “I’m Peter” 

“Jane” She says as she shakes his hand.

She wonders why didn’t Bucky thought of a fake name for her, but then again there was no one looking for her and her name was common enough. Peter asks if she needs help, and she chuckles nodding her head this time.

“Are you looking for your hotel?” Peter asks. 

“Yes, this place is confusing” Jane says, Peter raises an eyebrow, “I thought I was done with the Market but apparently there is more of it” 

Peter chuckles, “This is called the Bazaar actually” he says, “Things are a bit more expensive” 

“Ah” Jane looks around, “You work around here?” 

“My aunt has a dress shop, I help her sometimes” Peter answers, “Technically is not working since she doesn’t pay me” 

Jane chuckles.

“Would you… Would you like to visit her store?” Peter asks, somehow shyly. 

“So you also get her costumers” Jane raises an eyebrow teasingly.

Peter’s eyes widen, and he looks embarrassed, “No, no! That’s not what I- I mean, sure- but I was honestly helping-“ 

Jane smiles and puts a hand on his shoulder, “I’m joking” she says, “I’d love to go” 

“Oh" Peter says, letting a breathy laugh out, "It’s right before the exit” 

They continue to walk as Peter tells her he saw her practically running from the Market and he thought she had been robbed or something, which is why he approached her. Jane thanks him and apologises again for the way he reacted. 

“It’s okay, I don’t blame you” He smiles softly, and then adds more quietly, “the Shadow Men make us as nervous are they make the tourists” 

Jane frowns, “Shadow Men?” 

Peter hushes her and moves closer to her, looking around like they were sharing a big secret. Jane glances behind her, and sees no one.

“The men dressed in black” Peter tells her, “They… They scare people”

“You said… They seemed to be following me” Jane bites her bottom lip, “Are they?”

Peter licks his lips, “Maybe it was because you were running, but they are gone now" 

Jane nods, “Who are they?” 

“Police, supposedly” Peter looks at her, “No one wants them here, they are abusive assholes” his eyes turn somber, like he remembered something, “They took my uncle” 

Jane’s heart aches, and she finds herself unable to voice anything. 

“They just take people away and- we never see them” 

_Like Bucky._ These are the same men that took Bucky. She shakes her head, not wanting to jump into conclusions, as logic as they might seem to her. Peter tells her that they replaces the existing task force once the new Commander, Alexandra Reid, took charge.

"They were fine at first but soon we found out they weren’t there to take care of us but to control us" Peter shrugs, "As long as we keep out heads down, they don't bother us"

She lets the words sink in after Peter stays quiet. These are the men Pierce wanted to let in Glassmere, the military that her father didn’t want.

Catalean had let Pierce’s men in, unlike Glassmere.

“Are you okay?”

She blinks several times before she looks at Peter. The man is looking at her with concern.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine” Jane nods, “Sorry”

Peter shrugs, smiling softly, “This is my aunt’s store”

He opens the glass door for her, and she looks at the neon sign before she steps inside May’s. There are a few mannequins on the display wearing clothes more appropiate for the warm weather, and her skin bristles when she feels the cold air from inside. A woman comes from behind the counter, yelling Peter’s name before she procedes to scold him for ‘disappearing on her all morning’. The woman, May, Peter’s aunt smiles when she sees her and throws a last glare at Peter before offering Jane a glass of lemonade and showing her around. 

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky calls it a day after he finds himself wandering aimlessly. He makes his way out of the Cove and continues walking around the coast line until he finds the familiar broadwalk again. He eats fried fish and chips in one of the many food stands near the beach, which wasn’t as crowded as he knew the market would be. After he finishes his food, he finds himself a spot under the palm trees that providing enough protection from the sun and keep the sand cold enough – a woman offers him a towel to sit but he politely refuses, saying he wouldn't be there for long – he seats in the sand while he finishes his frozen lemonade.

After a few minutes later he unlaces his heavy boots and leaves them aside alongside the socks, enjoying the feeling of the cool sand under his toes. Despite the sun above, he could feel the cool breeze that was coming from the north this time of the year, which explained why people weren't bathing in the ocean. Once again he thinks about Jane, when bathing in the ocean that morning wearing a thin cotton shirt and pijama pants. She had looked cafe free and happy, much like he felt just watching her. He knew that feeling was partly because she felt protected by him.

_I have to tell her_. He decides, leaving the empty cup aside. _For what it's worth._  

Before he makes his way to the hotel he sees it in the distance. The giant ferris wheel he loved to climb when he was a kid, the only memory he used to have apart from Steve falling into the water all those years ago. He doesn't even realise he is walking towards it at a hurried pace until he is, and he doesn't try to stop himself.

It's still there, untouched, looking exactly the same way it used to, unlike the Cove has been. He walks towards it ignoring the literal warning signs – ‘caution’, ‘watch your step’, ‘stay away’ – he knew the wood would rotten and the metal rusted, but he also knew where to step, his muscle memory coming into action the moment he crosses the street towards the abandoned amusement park. It had been there since before the colonies were stablished, the main structures survived the war and the test of time, and he always wondered why no one ever thought about demolishing it. Or reviving it.

The old carousel always creeped him out, the horses with yellow eyes and the broken mirrors, the clowns painted in the rusted ceiling. He can’t imagine children liking it at all, specially clowns. Next to it, is the ferris wheel, from where he had fallen once when he was seven and broken his arm. Instead of going home that day, he hid under the pier on his way home afraid his mother would scold him, and Steve had stayed with him. The next day Steve got sick, and the guilt had been worse than the throbbing pain in his arm. As much as he tries to remember, he can’t imagine anyone else but Steve next to him. 

“Guess it was always you and me, Stevie”

Steve had always been shorter than him, smaller, and often got sick. It was the reason why Bucky tried to protect him that fateful day he was taken, the same reason why he got in so many fights to defend him, or joined the ones Steve started because he just ‘didn’t like bullies’. And it was always just the two of them. 

"Until the end of the line"

 

* * *

 

 

Jane finally finds The Eye of The Sea, following Peter’s directions mainly but also because when she was close enough she could see the lighthouse. It was already late afternoon and the temperature was getting lower, with the sun starting to see soon. She makes her way across the street from Shell’s Kitchen, when she sees Jessica inside she waves at her and the woman waves back, looking behind her like she’s trying to find Bucky. Jane ignores it and continues walking. 

When she finally reaches the hotel she sees Claire inside, typing away in her computer distractingly. She bites the inside of her cheek, feeling annoyed all of sudden as she pushes the glass doors. Jealous, she admits to herself. 

“Hey there, Jane”

Jane nods at her, “Good afternoon” 

She smiles, “Where is your partner?”

“He’s not here yet?” Jane frowns. 

Claire shakes her head, “Maybe he went out for drinks”

Jane manages to shrug nonchalantly, “Maybe”

The woman looks taken aback, maybe by her tone or her reaction, but she doesn’t mind. She adjusts the heavy bag on her shoulder and the dress which is folded in her arm as she reaches inside the satchel for her key card.

“That dress is gorgeous” Claire mentions. 

“Thanks” Jane replies dryly.

She hears her chuckle and sighs deeply, still looking for the key card inside the bag. Jane didn’t even had that many things inside the goddamn satchel, but she is juggling a lot of things in her arms too. When the contents of the bag are spilled accidentally she curses, and kneels to pick everything up, that’s when the key card falls out of her jean pocket.

“Seriously?” She sighs deeply. 

“Let me help” Claire says, crouching next to her.

“I got it”

“I can help is no-“

“I said _I got it_ ” Jane says, tone harsh.

Claire takes her hands back and straightens. Jane finishes picking up her things and stands too, glancing at Claire with the corner of her eye before she zips close the satchel. She mutters a goodbye and starts walking away when Claire says something about the dress again, and then smiles at her in a way that reminds Jane of Darcy, somewhere between knowingly and complicit, and Jane feels naked under her gaze.

“You should go out tonight” Claire mentions, walking towards her desk, "Enjoy your stay"

Jane ignores her, not sure if she was somehow making fun of her. She is infront of her door when she takes a deep breath, and then walks back to the front desk, taking a deep breath before she asks Claire what’s the most popular joint in town.


	13. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine…”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I want to thank everyone for the kudos and the comments, I'm glad you are enjoying the story and hope you continue to follow it.

The bar is not too crowded despite it being a saturday.

Bucky considers going back to the hotel room instead since Jane must be there by now, but as soon as he enters he changes his mind. The atmosphere is a serene one, not the loud and dark one from The Sticky Horse – as much as he liked Coulson, his bar was mostly frequented by the worse kind of people – a warm lighting fell on the tables, the walls were painted a nice shade of orange, and the ceiling was sky blue, fishing nets hanging from the lamps and roof fans. There were shells decorating the walls, alongside paintings of the sea and boats, and pictures of people he obviously didn't recognise. Still, a large part of him felt like he had been there plenty of times before. It felt... Familiar.

He makes his way to the bar and chooses a stool far from the few ones already occupied. There are three men on the far right corner of the bar talking loudly and laughing, some of the booths are also occupied by people talking as they listen to the jukebox play a song loudly.

"What are you having?"

Bucky turns to find a dark skinned man looking at him. He must be a few years older than him but not many, he offers him a serene smile that reaches his dark eyes. He remembers the question and looks at the wall, not being able to recognise any of the names on the bottles filled with liquids of almost every color, several different brands he never really heard of.

"You have beer?" He finally asks, tapping his fingers against the bar. 

The man nods, "My very own creation" He smiles. 

"I'll have that" Bucky says, "To start" 

The man lets out a sonorous laugh as he reaches for a tall glass, "To start he says" Bucky chuckles, "The name's Luke"

"James" 

It slips, but he doesn’t worry much about it. Luke leaves him his beer and Bucky reaches for it, but the man moves it away from his reach. Bucky frowns, and looks at him. 

"You are not from around here" It's not a question.

Bucky shakes his head, "I'm a...” he trails off, not sure what to say. 

“Don’t worry about it” Luke waves a hand, sliding the beer towards him, “Where are you staying?” 

Bucky looks at him, “The Eye of the Sea” He takes a long sip from the beer.

“Fancy” The man says, “That’s right across from Shell’s Kitchen, ain’t it?” Bucky nods, “Met Jessica?"

“The waitress?”

“Owner” Luke corrects him, Bucky’s brows shoot up.

The man chuckles at his reaction and tells him that Jessica doesn’t like to brag about it. Bucky nods and then empties the glass in his hands. 

“Are you friends?” He asks.

“We’re… Very close” 

Luke’s lips quirk upwards and Bucky frowns slightly before he understands what he means. The man reaches for the glass infront of him, refills it and then gives it back to Bucky. 

"Enjoy" he offers him a small smile. 

“Thanks”

Bucky takes a long sip of the beer, leaving it half empty once the glass slams against the wooden bar. There's a bowl of peanuts infront of him and he reaches for it, grabbing a fistful and taking them to his mouth realising he hadn’t ate much, and it was not a good idea to start drinking on an empty stomach.

"If you need anything, holler" Luke tells him.

Bucky nods mouthful before the man disappears in a door behind the bar. He thinks about telling him that he won't stay for long once he comes back, Jane would be waiting for him... But the atmosphere is so familiar that he feels the need to stay a while longer. Jane would know her way around alone, better than Bucky probably would in any other colony, and Catalean seemed to be a lot more safe than Glassmere. _She will be fine without you_. He tells himself as he nurses the last of the beer infront of him. Without him having to ask, Luke comes back and refills his glass a few minutes later, and Bucky slides his credit card to him deciding to stay longer. The man stares at it and then shakes his head sliding it back to him.

"I’ll tell you what” Luke says, sliding the card back to him, “As long as you stick to beer, It’s on the house”

Bucky frowns slightly, "Thanks" He says putting his card back inside his pocket. 

Luke chuckles, "You've been traveling long?" 

"Feels like it" He stares at the glass in his hand, he glances around noticing people was still entering the bar, "A lot of people come here, huh?" 

“It’s the most popular joint in town” Luke answers proudly.

A group of men enter the bar, laughing loudly and settling in the booths at the far corner of the bar, next to the jukebox. They remind Bucky of Yondu’s Ravangers, and he remembers that they didn’t belong to any colony, but traveled from one to another as they pleased. Luke notices him staring and tells him that those are fishermen, celebrating that the summer had been kind to them and they have enough fish to last all winter.

Catalean had two stations only, the warm sky blue summer accompanied by sunny days, or the chill winds of winter that came with heavy rains instead of snow. It was hard to fish in winter because of the cold winds of the north, so fishermen would try to fish as many as they could during summer. Part of it would go to other colonies too, carried by Horizon. 

“Here’s for them not getting in a fight with the Ravengers over there” Luke says nodding at the adjacent corner, a small glass filled with yellow liquid in his hand that he drinks in one sip.

Bucky chuckles, “Do a lot of Ravangers come here?” Luke nods, “What about people like me?” Bucky adds, “travelers”

Luke nods, "Of course" Bucky hums looking at his glass, "And every since the ferry started working, we get a lot of folks from Cinders"

Bucky lifts his gaze, "Cinders?"

The man nods, "About a year ago the Commanders of both colonies met” He starts “with Cinders being just on the other side of the cove they decided to merge both colonies" he shrugs, "A ferry ride is all that takes now to cross, it used to be about two or three days traveling" 

Bucky frowns, "Why?"

Luke shrugs, “But if you ask me, it was about time” he continues, “My pops always said it would happen”

"I mean, why now? I don't remember that being possible when I was-" he stops himself, frowning at the once agains empty glass.

Luke eyes him curiously, "Where did you said you were from?”

Bucky looks at him and grips the glass tightly, “I didn’t” he says, jaw clenching his teeth.

That’s when Luke’s eyes go wide, and he whispers loud enough for Bucky to hear him despite the music and the chanting from the fishermen. 

“I know you” Luke says, he grips Bucky’s jaw, moving his face form left to right, “You are Winnie’s son!”

He scowls, wrenching himself from the man’s grip, “I don’t-“

“Bucky!”

Bucky tenses looking at the man with wide eyes.

“It _is_ you!” Luke grins widely, “I would recognise that scowl anywhere!”

“I’m not who you-“

The man shakes his head, “James Buchanan Barnes, do not bullshit me” chuckling amused.

Bucky thinks about making an excuse, maybe an apology too and then he shuts his mouth tightly. Luke knew his name, and maybe he knew more about him that just that, but before Bucky can gather his thoughts and ask anything, Luke pulls him in for a tight embrace across the bar. Bucky taps the man’s back awkwardly and pushes him off him slowly. His eyes fall on a picture hung on the wall. A woman smiling to a crowd, a super trouper shinning on her sequinned dress as she waves at them. Bucky knows that smile, he remembers those eyes looking at him. Luke turns following his gaze, and then looks at him with a smile still on his face. 

“Beautiful isn’t she?” The man reaches for the picture and takes it off the wall.

Bucky takes the framed photo from him.

He feels the man’s gaze on him as he stares at the picture of his mother, and his mind is flooded with fragmented memories of his past. She used to wake him up for breakfast every saturday, the sweet tone of her voice gone as she scolded him for skipping school, a smell of lemon and honey that emanated from her hair as she kissed his forehead before he went to sleep. But apart from that, nothing else comes to his mind, those memories were from when he was a kid, when he still had to look up to see her face and she had to kneel for him to throw his arms around her neck.

“She died before I was taken” Bucky whispers, gripping the frame tightly.

When he looks at Luke, the man frowns slightly, “She died when you were barely old enough to reach this bar, back when it was my father who stood behind this bar” He then narrows his eyes, “You don’t remember?”

“I don’t remember _anything_ ” Bucky leaves the picture on the bar and shakes his head slightly, “Nothing before I was taken at least” 

When he looks at Luke, the man frowns slightly, “What do you mean taken?”

Bucky looks at him, not sure if the man was being serious. If Luke knew who Bucky was, he would also know that he had been gone for the past ten years, that he was kidnapped and then… Or he could be lying, and Bucky’s mind was playing tricks on him. the woman in the picture wasn’t his mother and he had never seen the man behind the bar before. He looks at the empty glass infront of him, and remembers that he hadn’t eaten much before he started drinking. Luke doesn’t ask again, instead continuing to talk as he reached for a bottle behind him despite Bucky not paying attention to him.

“… And then you left and a few years later Steve did too-” 

Bucky heart starts racing at the mention of his friend’s name. Steve. The man who haunted his dreams for so long, survived. Maybe he is somewhere away from Catalean, Bucky doesn’t ask where because all he cares is that Steve is still _alive_. Luke pours an amber liquid on a small glass and slides it towards him. Bucky shakes his head and Luke shrugs, drinking the content of the glass himself. 

Bucky clears his throat, “Did you say he left?”

“Steve?” Luke nods, “After you left, he stayed for a few years, like he was waiting for you to come back” Bucky scowls at his glass, “And then, about four years later Sara died, he had nothing left after that” He sighs, “I still remember you two sneaking in here to be able to see Winnie perform” Bucky feels a smile tug from his lips, “Pops always made me keep an eye on you two”

Bucky tries swallowing the knot in his throat. As much as he tries he is not being able to remember that, and now he knows that Luke and everyone who knew him back then thought that he had simply skipped town. But Steve was with him, he had seen the two men in the docks that night, then same men who knocked him out and took him. Steve, who had left Catalean years later too. Maybe he hadn’t told anyone about that night, and the men who took him had seen Steve and threaten him somehow, so he left Catalean fearing that those men would come back for him.

Bucky runs a hand through his face and hair. He wants to think about it more, but at the same time to just… Let it go for a while, have a drink and let go.

Luke looks at him with a cocked eyebrow, “Why did you come back?” he asks, “After all these years”

“I… I was just passing by” Bucky offers him a smile, and before Luke can ask anything else he taps the rim of the glass infront of him, “May I have another beer?" 

Luke nods.

The man takes the glass and refills it, when he puts in infront of him Bucky whispers a thanks but Luke isn’t looking at him, his eyes drifting at a point over his shoulder, and he straightens before he lets out a low whistle. Bucky frowns turning to face in the same direction, and he blinks several times as Jane makes her way from the entrance. The fishermen, now drunk and even louder than before cheer and whistle, some shoving eachother and others taking their hands to their chests dramatically, as Jane looks around like she’s lost. Bucky doesn’t even realise he is standing up when she spots him, her eyes burying into his before she walks in his direction. 

“Don’t tell me she’s with you” Luke says behind him.

“She’s… My friend”

Luke hums, and then asks, “Close?”

Bucky hears him but doesn’t say anything, feeling his mouth dry as a desert. His eyes are glued to Jane as she walks directly towards him, the warm lighting of the place falls on her brown curls, cascading down her shoulders freely, and the sky blue summer dress she was wearing flowing with each step she gives until she is standing next to him. Bucky swallows staring at her, then noticing one strap of the dress had fallen off her shoulder, he wants to reach and fix it but Jane does it before he gets the chance. 

He wants to tells her she looks beautiful, but when he opens his mouth, “Were did you get that?” comes out instead.

Behind him, Luke lets out a snort and then a disappointment sigh, and Bucky sees him shake his head with the corner of his eye. He turns looks at Jane, who looks down at her dress, fingers twisting infront of her lap as if she is nervous. He curses mentally, not knowing why he said that, or what else could he say.

“I… At the Bazaar” Jane says, taking a seat next to Bucky, “They had so many, they were all so pretty, and the woman selling them was nice so…” She trails off, looking at Bucky as if waiting for him to say something else.

But he simply nods, reaching for the shot glass that Luke left infront of him without him noticing. He feels the liquid burn his throat and settling on his stomach, spreading a warmth that was almost unpleasant. Or perhaps it was just the words he had swallowed with it. 

Jane accommodates next to him, resting her forehands on the bar. Bucky can still hear the men talking about her, even above the music playing from the jukebox a few feet from them, so he moves closer to her glancing – glaring – at them over his shoulder before resting a hand on the stool’s backrest, not possessively just… Protectively. Luke chuckles infront of him, and when Bucky looks at him with a frown the man smiles, turning to look at Jane. 

“What will you have, beautiful?”

Jane looks at Bucky, and then at the empty glass in his hand, “I… What he was having just now” 

“Sure?” Luke asks, and Jane nods, “Very well”

The man leaves a small glass infront of her and reaches for the bottle with amber liquid behind him, pouring it on her glass until it almost touches the rim. Luke slides it infront of Jane, spilling it a little on the wood, and Bucky stares at her expectantly. Jane takes the glass to her lips, drinking the content while Bucky stares at the curve of her neck as she swallows, when she finishes it she leaves the glass on the bar, wrinkling her nose before she shivers and shakes her head.

“It’s horrible” Jane says, looking at Luke apologetically she adds, “Sorry”

Luke lets out a sonorous laugh and Jane chuckles, her cheeks blushing slightly embarrassed. Bucky’s lips quirk upwards and Jane turns to him, smiling softly when she finds him looking at her, still unable to find something to say Bucky simply offers her a small smile that she accepts. Luke, who had been staring between them, clears his throat.

Bucky and Jane turn to him.

“Are you having anything else?” Luke asks, “I can make you a softer drink, sweetheart”

Jane nods, “Please, thank you” she looks at Bucky, “You?”

Bucky nods, realising that Jane wants to stay a while longer too, “I’ll stick to the beer”

He slides his credit card towards Luke, and this time the man accepts it, winking at him before he goes to make a drink for Jane.

 

* * *

 

The handsome bartender, who tells her to call him Luke, smiles charmingly at her when he comes back a few minutes later, with a sweeter drink for Jane and a tall glass with beer for Bucky in his hands. She takes a sip from her drink, humming happily at the sweet taste, despite still being able to taste the alcohol. Bucky drinks from his beer remaining quiet as Jane tells him about what she did the rest of the day after they parted ways. She tells him about her lunch, and Peter Parker and his aunt May – she lets out the men in black – finally, that she went back to the hotel but decided to come look for him.

“I’m sorry I spent-“

“Don’t worry about it, Jane” Bucky cuts her off, he glances at her dress briefly, “You… It’s a pretty dress”

Jane nods, looking at her glass. It had been the longest alone time she have had in… Since forever, and it had felt great not having someone to tell her where to go or what to do, how to or how much to eat, she felt free. Jane doesn’t tell that to Bucky, staying in silence as she looks around. She liked the atmosphere from the bar, when Claire told her about The Bait being the most popular bar around, she had imagined it being similar to The Sticky Horse. Instead, despite being full of people and having loud music, it seemed like a safe place. She feels Bucky lean closer to her, and she looks at him.

“I found out about Steve” He says.

“Oh” Jane nods, “Is that why you are so quiet?” she doesn’t mean to ask but it come out.

Bucky’s brow furrows, “I didn’t realise I was being” he says, reaching for his beer again.

Jane lets him take a sip, unable to take her eyes off him as she sees his adam’s apple bop when he swallows. Bucky is clean shaven and he had left his jacket in the motel, wearing only a thin grey shirt that stretched across his torso, the dark jeans covering his muscular tights perfectly, Jane can’t help but wonder how could he look so handsome to her in something she had seen him wear before. And then why didn’t he say anything when he saw her wearing something he _hadn’t_ seen her wear before.

She didn’t buy the dress to impress him, but even the stranger behind the bar had offered her a compliment. The strap of the dress falls off her left shoulder again, and she slips it up again, trying to ignore the fact that she feels bothered by not being complimented _by_ _Bucky_. 

Bucky tells her that Steve is alive, but he doesn’t sound too happy, and when he tells her that the only family he had was his mother who died when he was little, she understands why. He points at the picture on the wall, a picture of his mother he tells her, and Jane stares in awe of how beautiful she was.

“She was a singer here” Bucky says, he chuckles sadly, “I didn’t- still don’t remember that” 

Jane scans his features. His eyes go from sad, to relieved and he stays quiet quiet for a few seconds.

“But… Bucky, Steve is alive”

A small smile quirks Bucky’s and he looks at his glass, “He is”

“Maybe more will come to you in the future” Jane continues, “About your mother, and your life here” she says looking at her glass, “If you decided to stay…”

“I don’t want to stay” Bucky says.

Jane looks at him, and their eyes meets for a split of second before he looks away.

“I have nothing here, Jane” he says, “just the _possibility_ of remembering a life that… It’s gone”

Jane stares at him a little longer. She realises how close they are from eachother, she can feel the heat coming from him, and that he had thrown an arm across her back not so long ago. As he reaches for his beer and finishes it, Jane moves closer to him without him noticing, enjoying how his hair smells like the air at the beach and his skin like the after shaving cream he had left in the sink that morning. 

“Those men had sung every song the jukebox plays” He nods at the men on the corner, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

Jane glances at them over her shoulder, “Yeah” she turns to him, “I didn’t ask how long you were here”

“You didn’t” Bucky looks at her, “Almost two hours, maybe” he answers, “It passed fast, so…”

“Everything alright here?”

Luke smiles at the both of them, and Jane nods at the same time Bucky tells him they are alright. He asks for a refill to his beer and Luke complies happily, telling Jane to “hollar” if she wanted another drink. 

“He’s nice”

“I didn’t think you would come” Bucky says at the same time, he then chuckles, “Sorry” 

Jane waves a hand, while the other one plays with the rim of her glass, “I would have gotten bored at the hotel anyways” she answers, she glances around noticing there is a lot of women in the bar too, some are dancing and other drinking, “If you… If you rather… You know…” Bucky frowns as she stammers, “Mingle” she finishes looking at two women talking a few feet from them.

Jane had seen them staring in Bucky’s direction before she sat next to him, and she didn’t blame them. Bucky was… Hot. With his broad shoulders, musculas arms, that velvety voice as he spoke, electric blue eyes and chiseled features. _He wouldn’t even need a pick-up like they do in movies_. She realises she says it out loud too late _,_ when Bucky frowns. And her eyes glance at the women again.

Bucky follows her gaze, “Ah” he looks back at his glass, “Not really”

Jane tilts her head curious, not sure if Bucky doesn’t want to “mingle” – she winces mentally at the wording she used – or if it is because feels like he can’t leave her alone. She bites her bottom lip at that thought, not sure why did her mind went there. _You want him to say he rather stay with you_ , a voice inside of her says. And yes, she admits to herself, she really does.

“You rather sit here with me and mope over a glass of beer?” Jane asks nonchalantly.

“It’s _really_ good beer” Bucky retorts, “And I’m not moping” he cocks an eyebrow at her, “I’m… Reminiscing” 

They stare at eachother for a few seconds before she sees a hint of a smile pull from one side of his lips, and Jane’s own are split by a smile.

“If _you_ want to ‘mingle’ you can” He says, and then leans towards her, “Those men over there literally cheered when you walked in” 

Jane doesn’t look at where he glances, instead keeping his gaze on Bucky. The man, looks back at her, the almost sardonic smile still on his face. For a second she thinks he’s pulling her hair, or maybe making fun of her for… Whatever it was that was so funny to him, but then his smile and gaze soften and she feels his thumb caress a spot between her shoulder blades. She feels embarrassed by the way her skin bristles, and how fast a warmth spreads through her belly. 

“It’s settled then” Jane manages, “We don’t mingle”

Bucky leans back and chuckles, taking the glass into his lips, “Guess we don’t” he says before taking a long sip from his beer, “I’m going to take a leak”

Jane hears his glass being slammed against the wooden bar. She looks at him and nods, looking back at her glass as Bucky stands from his stool, and she follows him with the corner of her eye until he disappears in the crowd. Jane lets a shaky breath out, rubbing her arms to try to get rid of the bristles she could still feel, feeling embarrased at how little can make her stomach twist. She looks at the wall infront of her, filled with bottles of different shapes, colors, and sizes, some framed pictures and old newspaper cut outs, as she tries to distract herself. There is an old radio in the corner too, that reminds Jane of one Darcy kept in her room. She used it to send messages to her friends from the citadel when Julia grounded her for hanging out with said friends, Darcy had repaired it herself and her mother never found out about it. 

“My father got it from some ravangers about ten years ago”

Jane blinks several times, being pulled out of her thoughts by Luke. There was a picture next to it, a younger looking Luke next to a much older man that resembled him, his father, who she understood had been the owner of the bar before he passed it down to his son.

“Does it work?” Jane asks.

“Of course” Luke nods, “It can radio all the way to the Cinders” he continues, “I got myself a few friends over there, it’s easier to just message them than pay for the ferry every time I want to talk to them” he then adds, “And cheaper”

Jane nods softly, not really paying attention to what he said after he mentioned The Cinders.

“This friends of yours…” Jane starts, and Luke hums, “Do they know people?”

“How do you mean?” Luke asks.

Glancing towards the bathrooms to see if Bucky was coming back any time soon, she leans towards Luke. Bucky was an extremely cautious man, if Jane ran the idea of messaging someone about Darcy, he would simply shut it down. So Jane decides to do this herself. The worst that could happen would be Luke’s friend not knowing anyone named Darcy. So Jane tells Luke she is looking for a friend of hers, she had moved to Cinders a while ago and she hadn’t heard of her.

“My buddy knows pretty much everyone in town” Luke nods, “Imma put a word for you”

Jane smiles brightly, “I would appreciate it” she says, “Bucky and I are staying-“ 

“The Eye of the Sea” And when Jane frowns, Luke waves a hand, “Bucky told me” he winks.

“Oh” She lets out a relief breath, “I-“ 

“Can we get more of these?” 

Jane glances at Bucky, who slides the empty bowl of peanuts towards Luke. The man nods and picks up the bowl, before he leaves them alone. Bucky sits next to her then without saying anything for a few seconds, before he runs a hand through his hair and looks at her, eyes traveling from her feet to her eyes. Jane cocks her head, and Bucky offers her a charming smile, with just the right touch of cockiness.

“How'd a nice girl like you,” He asks, “wind up in a place like this?”

A small smile tugs from Jane’s lips as a warmth rushes through her, and Bucky’s lips quirk upwards. In that moment Luke comes back with a new bowl of peanuts and refills Bucky’s glass. Bucky leans back on his seat reaching for the beer and taking a long sip, unbothered by anyone else’s gaze on him other than Jane’s.


	14. The Fisherman’s Blues

Bucky keeps his eyes glued to Jane as she talks quietly about whatever comes to her mind and he mostly just listens. At one point, Jane wants to ask Luke about soda since the man mentions he makes his own beer, and Bucky tells her that the process is different from distilling alcohol. Naturally, Jane thinks otherwise and continues almost rambling to make her point. Bucky – and Luke as he comes and goes – listen to her almost amused, wondering if someone had ever lost an argument with her, or finished one. He sips on his fourth? Fifth? beer slowly, feeling a pleasant buzz but not nearly as drunk as he would feel if he had started with one of the coloured bottles behind the bar. 

Bucky hears a barked out laugh, and he glances with the corner of his eye to find two women a feet away from him. Both who had been glancing at him since he sat on the bar even before Jane arrived. 

An hour ago, Jane implied that he could go with one of them, Bucky had retorted pointing out how the men had reacted when she entered the bar. Both said no. And when Jane finalised the small conversation about that, he almost felt bad for the poor bastards in the corner. After all, Jane looked... _Irresistible_. The summer dress hugging her body just right, short enough to show enough of her legs as she crossed them turning her body to him, but long enough to keep him wanting to see more, her brown curls brushing her back as they danced freely when she moved, and the strap that kept falling off her shoulder, almost like daring him to reach out and touch her. The room is crowded now, the air feels hot and heavy, and her skin is glowing with a thin layer of sweat, it mixes with the perfume in her skin and hair, and Bucky reaches for a rebel curl that falls on her forehead moving it aside. Jane stops her rambling, and Bucky takes his hand back regretting the action. Her lips quirk upwards and she puts the strand of hair behind her ear. 

"I'm going to ask anyways" Jane says, almost breathless from talking so fast. 

"Mm?" Bucky asks.

She chuckles, "You weren't here" she shakes her head softly and take a final sip to her drink. 

"I'm here" Bucky says apologetically, "You want to ask Luke, go ahead"

"Ask Luke what?" 

The man comes back from behind the bar with a drink in his hand. The same one Jane had been drinking before, and leaves it infront of her offering a charming smile that makes Jane’s cheek blush as she reaches for the glass. Bucky almost rolls his eyes annoyed, Luke notices it and chuckles, winking at him before turning his attention back to the woman.

"Do you know how to make soda?" Jane asks. 

Luke looks at her apologetically, "No, sweetheart " Jane nods, "They do in Roseburn"

"Really?" Her eyes light up, and when Luke nods she smiles brightly, "Roseburn" she turns to Bucky then, "Good to know"

Luke smiles and leaves when the women on the bar call his name. Bucky glances at them, and Luke quirks an eyebrow at him when he catches him looking their way. They are beautiful the both of them, the one that catches him staring has red hair above her shoulder and Bucky is reminded of Natasha. She offers him a smile and wink, but he doesn't return it, instead clearing his throat and looking back at his lukewarm beer. 

"You didn't tell Luke about Arcadia?" Jane asks him quietly, "About the Slums or the Pit…" 

He looks at Jane, "No. Why?" 

Jane shrugs, "I thought he would ask about what happened to you" she continues, “Since you said he knew you” 

Bucky shakes his head, "It's not something I would have answered anyways" he takes the glass to his lips. 

"Why?" She tilts her head in a cat like manner, "Do you consider it... Uncomfortable?" 

Bucky chuckles, licking his lips, "More like... Personal" 

"You told me about it" Jane retorts. 

"I told you after...” He frowns, “When did I tell you?"

Jane stares at him for a few seconds, "When we were drinking... On the couch in Arcadia" 

"Right" Bucky nods, remembering that morning, "You wanted me to tell him about those too?" He chuckles emptying the glass this time. 

Jane rolls her eyes, "No" she says, "I guess you are right, it's personal" Bucky hums, "But you told _me_ " 

"I did"

"Why?"

Bucky looks at her, "You wanted to know" he says after a few seconds. 

Jane breaks their stare off before she chuckles, shaking her head softly as she takes a sip from her drink. There is a slice of pineapple on the rim of the glass, and she reaches for it, taking it to her mouth and sinking her teeth into it. Bucky stares at Jane’s lips for a few seconds as she licks them slightly, and he curses himself and his libido for making a simple action something that it clearly isn't. Sensual.

He realises that they are too close, and he moves away half an inch, wanting to move further but not being able to. 

Jane looks at him, "You also said" she starts, leaving the rest of the pineapple aside, "that they called you the _Winter_ Soldier because no man could survive you" 

Bucky nods, and his eyes fall on her lips again, "People liked it, it caught on" he says. 

Jane’s lips curve up slightly, "What about a woman?" 

He looks at her in the eye, "No women fought in the pit" he answers, almost dumbly.

Jane smiles, shaking her head like she regrets asking that. She then chuckles, and looks at him almost embarrassed. 

"That was a poor attempt to...” She pauses looking for a word, “I don't know, tease?"

For a second his brain doesn't seem to process and understand, and he frowns slightly. Jane sees his expression and her smile wavers, a frown crosses her face before she looks back at her glass, her cheeks turning pink as she chuckles nervously.

"Tease" Bucky repeats, "As wanting to get to me or _with_ me?"

Jane looks at him and this time _she_ is confused, "What's the difference?" 

In a split of second Bucky decides to test the waters, moving closer that half inch shrugging nonchalantly, "You either wanted to make fun or flirt"

Flirt. The word Jane was probably looking for seconds ago but couldn’t find.

Her cheeks turn a shade darker, "Oh" 

 _Indeed_. 

"And how... How would that be flirting?" She asks slowly, "hypothetically speaking" she adds. 

A smile pulls from his lips, "Hypothetically?" He leans back on his stool, one hand behind the stool Jane is sitting and the other tapping his fingers on the bar, "You would be asking me if I could... Or would take you"

"Ah" Jane nods, "I see"

Jane looks pensive for a second. Her finger playing with the rim of her glass almost distractingly while she looks lost in thought.

"So which one would it be," Bucky pushes further, and Jane looks at him in the eye, "In this hypothetical situation?" 

Jane smiles softly and seems to actually consider it for a second. Bucky feels something recoil in his insides, the thrill of whatever is happening between them making his heart race. He is _excited_. Specially because Jane doesn't look like she wants him to stop, but like she needs him to press even further, almost like she is daring him to continue. He reaches for the strap of her dress, that had thankfully fallen off her shoulder again, and hooks his finger under it caressing her skin with his knuckle, before he slides it over her shoulder. The action is followed by her eyes, before her honey brown eyes and blown pupils stare into his own. Her lips part, and when she is about to answer, the song that he had barely been paying attention to changes to [a different one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eyTT-fzI_M), and there is a thunderous applause mixed with cheering coming from every corner of the room. It breaks the spell they are both under, Jane looking around with a confused look on her face, and Bucky feeling like he was left hanging somehow. 

"Hey, Buck" Bucky glances at Luke, "That's your mother"

"What?" 

Luke didn't pay attention, leaving the bar to join the fishermen in the corner as they all start hugging eachother, and the rest of the bar stands from their seats. The music is not coming from the jukebox, but from the speakers in every corner of the bar, a familiar melody and an even more familiar voice as the woman starts singing, and everyone in the bar follows her.

 

_I wish I was a fisherman_

_Tumblin' on the seas_

_Far away from dry land_

_And its bitter memories_

 

"Everyone knows this song" he hears Jane say, and when he looks at her she is smiling. 

"They do" Bucky nods, looking around again.

 _That's your mother_. Bucky remembers her smile, the lighting falling on her as she sung about the fisherman wanting to escape from the pain land brought him. Steve and him hiding underneath the bar for Luke not to catch them, and once he did, Bucky and Steve darting out the bar, Winnie laughing mid-song because she knows it was her son’s idea. 

"That's my mother"

 

_Casting out my sweet line_

_With abandonment and love_

_No ceiling bearin' down on me_

_Save the starry sky above_

 

Bucky smiles softly as the room starts to clap, dance and sing. The woman that looks like Natasha being dragged to the middle of the room by one of the fishermen, who kisses her cheek as she throws her arms around his shoulders. Luke is on the other side of the room, but he catches Bucky’s gaze and smiles at him, nodding towards Jane when he looks at him.

Take her out.

 

_With light in my head_

_You in my arms_

 

But Bucky doesn’t, shutting his eyes close as more memories crash in like the waves of the sea outside. Steve was all he had when Winnie died, he held his hand when they cremated her body on the beach, and he entered the sea as they scattered her ashes all over the water. So she could join the father he never met, who had been taken by the same sea just days before he was born.

“The fisherman’s blues” Bucky whispers softly. 

Jane turns to him, "Did you say something?" She asks. 

Before he can say anything, a man appears from behind him, and he offers Jane his hand. Jane blushes and smiles brightly, but glances at Bucky briefly, stupidly enough he shrugs and offers her a small smile, before the fisherman says something into Jane's ear and she looks at him, nodding softly.

 

_I wish I was the brakeman_

_On a hurtlin' fevered train_

_Crashing a-headlong into the heartland_

_Like a cannon in the rain_

 

_With the beating of the sleepers_

_And the burnin' of the coal_

_Counting the towns flashing by_

_In a night that's full of soul_

 

She is gone then.

The young man puts a hand around her waist, and takes her between the crowd. Bucky follows her with his eyes, feeling a sting of... Regret, as the man asks something and she puts her hands over his shoulder. It starts slow, he notices, the man moving side to side as if he's teaching her how to move, and then she falls into a rhythm with him seconds later, and she laughs when the man twirls her around and pulls her closer to his body. 

"You slow?"

Bucky turns to find Luke next to him, leaning against the bar as he too stares into Jane's direction. He looks back at Jane again, who is still dancing with a smile of joy in her face.

"I'm cautious" he answers.

Luke snorts, "She seems like she's worth risking it all for"

I would.

I have. 

Bucky makes his way through the crowd, moving between the sweaty sea of bodies and ignoring the loud chanting, until it's Jane who he has infront and all he can hear is the music. 

The young man sees him, and smiles at him before he leans in and whispers into her ear.

"I guess he couldn't resist you either" He says.

Jane frowns not understanding what he is saying, until she turns around and finds Bucky standing infront of her. She is covered in a thin layer of sweat, her cheeks blushed and her hair sticking to her forehead and back, still Bucky's lips curve upwards and reaches for her, his warm hand settled on her waist pulling her towards him.

_With light in my head_

_You in my arms_

 

"You look beautiful" He says against her temple, before he leans back to look at her face. 

Jane smiles widely and she spreads her hands on his chest, noticing he is starting to sway slowly. Bucky pulls her closer to him and Jane throws her arms around his neck, tilting her head to look at him. She hadn't noticed Bucky had tied his hair, a few strands of hair falling out of the bun, and she reaches to swipe one off his face. Bucky takes her hand and kisses her palm, before placing it on his shoulder.

They start moving accordingly to the music, not caring about the mass of bodies moving around them. He catches Jane off guard by letting go of one hand and raising the other with a twist, sending her into a spin. She lets out a breathless gasp that turns into a laugh as she twirls in a circle, clapping their hands back together when he stops pulling her towards him again. Jane smiles brightly gripping his shoulders for stability, and she leans in to leave a quick kiss on his jaw, before resting her head against his chest. 

Bucky's chest shakes slightly as he chuckles, kissing the top of her head, and continuing to move from side to side, unable to wipe the blissful smile on their faces.

 

_Well I know I will be loosened_

_From the bonds that hold me fast_

_That the chains all hung around me_

_Will fall away at last_

 

If Jane had been hypothetically flirting with him while they were sitting on the bar, she would be asking if he would take her. Bucky was always so cautious around her, always looking over his shoulder like he was prey for her. Pulling back further when he started to feel like Jane was pulling him in, closing off when she was starting to figure him out. But Bucky wasn't as indecipherable as he thought anymore, for her he was an open book, written in a code she had already broken a while ago. At some point between a bottle of expensive bourdon and an old couch back in Glassmere, where he had been too tired of building up that wall and she slither into the cracks. Healing him at the same time she healed, and breathing air into his lungs while leaving him breathless.

 

_And on that fine and fateful day_

_I will take me in my hands_

_I will ride on the train_

_I will be the fisherman_

Bucky puts a strand of her hair behind her ear before he buries his face in the crook of her neck. Pulling her even closer to his body, losing himself in her like a man being drowned by the sea, defeated by the waves swallowing him. He was finally surrendering himself to Jane.

 

_With light in my head_

_You in my arms_

 

Jane smiles soflty, closing her eyes at the seated sensation humming across her body when Bucky whispers against her skin. _Yes_. She grips his left forearm, and Bucky squeezes her waist in response.

"Bucky" Jane whispers against his ear, "I want to take you to Maraud”

Bucky leans back and stares into her eyes with a questioning look on his face. There could be something else Jane is implying. That she doesn’t want to stay in Cinders with Darcy, that she wants to go to the Freelands and stay with him because she wants him and nothing, and no one else. Just like Bucky wanted her. The voice deep inside his head not only tells him that is not it, it cackles cruelly at him for overthinking as always. And he decides to not make anything of it. 

Jane stares expectantly, wanting Bucky to answer a question she didn’t even ask. She didn’t know how to, she just…

And then there is a loud crash, followed by a scream of "what the fuck?!", and barely two feet from them a fight breaks out. Bucky's warmth is gone, as he lifts his gaze to look around.

"I said your mom's a hoe!" A man yells.

The is a chorus of "ohs" and then everyone starts yelling at eachother. Bucky dodges a bottle and covers Jane, circling her wrist as he looks for the exit. The fight that had been brewing between the Ravangers and the fishermen sending the whole bar to a frenzy as some tried to leave and other wanted to join the fight.

"What is going on?" Jane asks.

"We should go" Bucky tells her. 

A man in the corner rips his shirt off and jumps over another man, who is choking someone who seems to be laughing about it. Bucky scowls as Jane pushes him out of the away of two women pulling from eachother's hairs.

"Hey! This way!" Luke waves at them from the bar, pointing at the door behind him, "Buck!"

Jane feels Bucky pulls her towards him and almost picking her up from the ground with a hand around her waist. She throws one glance at the chaos ensuing in what was the dance floor. The jukebox playing an upbeat song as one man dances all by himself while his friends fist fight around him. Luke lets them escape through the back door, kissing Jane's hand and shaking Bucky’s before he lets them go.

"Until next time!" Jane tells him, as Bucky pulls from her arm.

It was dark outside, and Jane could hear thunder in the distance. Bucky leans against the wall behind him as Jane stands infront of him, both trying to catch their breaths. Bucky wipes his nose with the back of his hand, as he glances left and right, before he stares at Jane. A smile splits his face, before a sonorous laugh bubbles from deep inside his chest. Jane stares at him surprised, before she too joins him, laughing so hard her stomach hurts, and she leans against the wall next to him, resting her head on his shoulder as the laugh dies down, but the smile remain. 

"Until next time?" Bucky snorts, "that was insane, I'm never-" he laughs, "I'm never entering a bar with ravangers in it"

"I was being polite!” Jane retorts, shoving him softly.

Bucky shakes his head chuckling, as he rests his hands on his knees. Jane puts a hand on his back and rubs as she glances around to see people starting to leave the bar, despite the brawl and the music still going on inside. She realises what she's doing a few seconds later, and takes her hand back, twisting her fingers infront of her lap. Bucky looks at her, glancing at her sky blue dress, it had been ruined by the many drinks thrown when the bar fight started and it was almost transparent where it was wet. Jane lets him stare, her chest going up and down as she still feels breathless.

He licks his lips, "We should go" he looks at the sky, "it's starting to rain"

Jane nods. Bucky straightens and looks around, and then Jane grabs his hand and pulls him outside of the alley, where more people are coming out of the bar while others try to take a peak inside. Despite the impending rain – and the drizzle that already started – plenty of people are still outside instead of looking for shelter in the nearby establishments, Jane walks with Bucky on her toes unbothered by the cold until she finds the way towards the hotel.

 

* * *

 

The rain didn't fall until after they find The Eye of The Sea. The receptionist, not Claire this time but a young man with a tag that reads 'Danny', greets them and says something along the lines of 'it's coming down hard' and Jane agrees, while Bucky offers a simple nod. The room is warm in comparison to the hall but still feels chilly when Bucky closes the door behind him, turning the lights on, and hurrying inside the bathroom to get himself and Jane towels to dry off. The rain starts falling harder outside, thunder and lighting joining this time. Bucky closes the bathroom door, and stares at Jane's back for a few seconds.

"It's like the sky is falling" He hears her say, she is looking outside the glass door separating her from the sea.

Bucky makes an agreement noise, and she turns accepting the towel from Bucky's hands.

"Heavy rains is what Catalean gets instead of snow"

He reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls from it, which then is thrown inside the laundry basket on the corner of the room, and the shoes are kicked off under the bed. Jane observes all movement, drying her hair with the towel distractingly when in reality she feels mesmerised by Bucky's sculpted body, glistening with sweat now, the warm lighting from the room casting shadows on the muscles of his chest, abdomen, and when he turns around the ones in his back covered by the many scars.

Bucky feels Jane's gaze on him, the room feels completely quiet despite the breeze shaking the palm trees outside, and the waves crashing against the shore. The sea was so close to them, he thinks, wanting to ignore the fact that Jane wasn't even trying to pretend not to stare anymore. He is tired of pretending too, he thought he made that clear after their exchange in the bar. After he almost kisses her. When he turns to Jane she has her back on him, like she decided to give him privacy as soon as his hands started unbuckling his belt, and maybe she knew that he wasn't wearing anything underneath, and that she would see too much once he got rid of his pants. Jane too is nude underneath the sky blue summer dress she put on, and he swallows because he can see the wet fabric stick to her like a second skin. It hugs her body tightly, drawing every contour of her back to the swell of her ass. Bucky swallows, feeling his cock stir almost painfully.

"Help?"

Jane turns to look at him over her shoulder, and he realises she is struggling to reach for her zipper. He sees her take a deep breath in before he nods jerkily and walks towards her, his cock straining against his zipper, feet naked against the rug. 

"I hope it isn't ruined" she says, looking down at her dress.

Bucky makes an agreement noise. Jane moves her hair out of the way for him, and Bucky's finger twitch as he reaches for the nape of her neck instead of the zipper.

"It would be a shame" He agrees quietly.

Jane lets out a shuddering breath, and he feels a rush of pride because he knows the effect he has on her. He wonders if she knows he's aroused, cock pulsing between his legs because of her. If she too feels the proximity affecting both of them instead of just him. So he lets his knuckles ghost against the nape of her neck, and he sees her relax to his touch.

"If so," He continues, finally reaching for the zipper, "I can get you another one"

A hundred. A thousand.

Bucky slides off the zipper slowly and to Jane it seems deliberate. _He knows what he's doing to you_ , Jane thinks, _he likes it_. She makes an agreement noise, wanting to listen to the zipper sliding down and not her own voice. Bucky's fingers sneaking inside the dress just barely for a fraction of second. She almost whimpers at the phantom caress and she hopes Bucky just... Touches more, and she curses her throat for being too tight for her to speak.

"I'm going to take a bath" Bucky says suddenly.

He leaves the dress halfway off, and Jane holds it against her body for it not to slip off her. Before she can turn, she feels his lips rest against her shoulder, a quick peck she barely registers before he’s gone. His warmth leaves with him instead of lingering like it did so many times before, perhaps because this time she wanted it more. Jane stares at the bathroom door as he closes it behind him, and when he locks it, she lets out a shuddering breath while her heart runs a hundred miles an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emilia Clarke aka Daenerys Targaryen, who has a beautiful voice by the way, totally plays Bucky's mom in this AU.
> 
> The song is originally by The Waterboys.


	15. Like A Barge At Sea, In the Storm I Stay Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from "[Yes To Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-oR9sfDJQ8)" by Lana del Rey.

Jane gives up on trying to untangle her hair with the brush and leaves it aside, starting to do it with her fingers. She looks at her reflection in the mirror, trying to resist the urge to turn to look at Bucky. The man was still sitting on the bed, loading the gun for what felt the hundredth time, he had been doing it before she entered the bathroom and afterwards, while she dressed, never lifting his gaze or paying attention to his surroundings at all.

He empties the barrel of the gun and repeats, and when Jane realises he’s trying to do it more quickly her lips quirk upwards, the faint hint of an endearing smile that she tries to suppress when Bucky catches her staring at him. She looks at her hands then, now making fists as she tries to keep her composure, because after leaving the bar she hadn’t being able to calm the turmoil going inside of her. She remembers the kiss he left on her skin after he helped her get out of her dress and immediately feels the familiar pang of arousal bloom at the pit of her stomach. The first time she ever felt that way had been because of Bucky too, and she wouldn’t hold it against him or punish herself for feeling that way anymore. Like there was no better place than with him.

It was the way same way she felt in his arms the night before, and as they swayed slowly in the middle of the dance floor. Or as she sat next to him in an old couch back in Arcadia, sharing a bottle of bourbon and talking about what their lives would be without knowing it wouldn’t be nothing like it. When she admitted to him – and to herself – that she wanted to take him to Maraud, she wanted to go with him and stay together. Because Jane knew, even then, that she would never find any of that anywhere else but with Bucky.

Jane looks up at Bucky’s reflection in the mirror again, the warm lighting of the room bathing his broad shoulders, his arms and hands moving quickly as he handles the gun with precision. His left leg is elevated, foot flat on the mattress and bent at the knee while his right leg lay extended. He doesn’t seem to notice her gaze on him, so Jane lets her eyes linger on him a bit longer, drinking the sight of Bucky in the middle of the bed, his back against the bedframe as if he is waiting for Jane to join him. She bites the inside of her cheek as the warmth spreads from her stomach to her toes, now impossible to ignore but she goes back to try and untangled the curls of her hair with her fingers.

The room is silent except for the sound of the gun being cocked, outside only the waves crashing against the shore and the strong breeze against the palm trees. It had stopped raining but she could still hear the thunder in the distance. The clicking sound of the gun stops and she looks at Bucky’s reflection in the mirror. He’s looking at her now, not her reflection in the mirror but _at her_ , lips parted as if he wants to say something, a small frown crosses his features and Jane straightens turning to him, but then Bucky disappears inside his head, looking back at the task in his hands.

And the room goes silent again, only this time the silence is not as peaceful as before. 

She rubs her hands anxiously as she looks in Bucky’s direction. Bucky, who has already gone back to focus his entire attention at the gun, or at least he’s doing a good job at pretending to. For a second there, Jane thought Bucky would… She had no idea what to think of him at that moment. All she can think of is how she wants to tell Bucky how he makes her feel, how even though he doesn’t seem to think much of himself she does.

That she would be happy with him. 

Because she _undeniably_ wanted him, and right now seemed to be the only time she could say it, but then her words get stuck in her throat as she looks back at him again.

She is thankful that her feet move, the rug is cold under her toes, the wooded floor underneath creaking under her feet as she makes her way to the bed. The sleep dress’ thin fabric not really covering from the cold, even though the air started feeling warm a while ago. 

Bucky lifts his gaze to find Jane making her way to the bed slowly, cautiously like he’s a caged animal she doesn’t want to startle. A minute ago, he had been meaning to ask what was going through her mind, Jane looked lost in though, worried even, he _needed_ to know. He cared for her after all, she knew that by now. Not only that but by now, he was sure that he had _stupidly_ fallen in love with her. He remembers the stolen kiss. Just a press of his lips on her skin because he couldn’t resist, Jane had melted under him but kept still like she didn’t know if she wanted more just yet. And then he had ran away like the fucking idiot he was.

The pijamas she was wearing clinging to her shape, the satin fabric too thin to be providing her with any warmth, and Bucky licks his lips not knowing if he should stare so shamelessly, but his mind starts running a hundred miles an hour, and he ends up wondering if she’s wearing anything at all underneath it, his fingers twitch and he remembers the gun in his hand. Jane reaches for it, and he frowns as she takes it, placing it on the nightstand. Bucky’s eyes follow the action, before he feels the mattress sink with the weight of Jane, who is kneeling next to him.

She looks like she wants to say something, so Bucky stays silent while she gathers her thoughts. 

“What I said…” She says finally, voice barely above a whisper, “About taking you to Maraud”

Bucky notices she is twisting her fingers nervously, and when Jane sees him staring she reaches for him, stopping when he tenses. He apologises quietly and Jane offers a small smile, cupping his jaw softly with one hand when he finally lets her in his space. He leans into her touch no longer wanting to deny himself of what he had craved for way too long, the touch of not any woman, but only Jane’s.

“I want to go with you, Bucky”

Her tone is firm, and is only when she sees the shock in his face that she bites her bottom lip nervously. She starts moving her hand away and he catches it. He feels dazed, not fully understanding what’s happening, what she is saying. And when he looks at her he realises he had asked it out loud. Jane leans in slowly, the tip of her nose brushing against his, until their foreheads join. 

The voice inside his head that had told him for so long that he got it all wrong, disappears into the background when he looks into Jane’s eyes, and his senses become drowned by all of her. Her soft touch on him, her sweet smell and her warmth surround him, and he knows that what she wants is what he _needs_. 

“Let me” Jane whispers against his lips, almost pleading.

Let me kiss you. Let me touch you. _Let me in_.

He cups her cheek, his thumb moving across her bottom lip, already red from bitting. Jane closes her eyes leaning into it, letting out a shaky breath she didn’t know she had been holding. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

Jane feels Bucky’s warm, big hand on her waist as he pulls her closer to him slowly, but his hold is loose enough so she could move away if she wanted.

“Jane” He says her name softly.

She nods, “Yes”

So Bucky kisses her. A small, soft peck that lasts enough for her to feel it, but not _enough_. Before he can fully pull back, Jane hold his face and dives in for more. He is taken aback, but takes no time to respond, gliding his lips over her, deep and slow, before pulling her into his lap, where Jane folds on top of him perfectly, like she belongs there.

His hands move from her waist down to her tights and up again, and Jane flushes her chest against his, enjoying the sensation of finally having a Bucky’s pressed against hers. His hand slithers under her camisole and he caresses the skin of her abdomen with calloused fingers, sending shivers down her spine, the hairs on the back of his neck rising, and Jane whimpers inside the kiss, fisting his shirt tightly. When they break apart is only for air, panting into each others lips as Bucky’s hand rests below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled.

"Is this..." He asks breathless.

She nods. Her hands leave his space, and she reaches for the hem of her camisole before pulling it over her head, so she’s completely nude on top of him.

"I want you" She whispers.

And their lips meet again in a more passionate and demanding kiss. Bucky rolls them on the bed, pinning Jane against the matters before breaking the kiss briefly, she looks up at him with big honey brown eyes, pupils blown as he pulls from his shirt and discards it somewhere across the room, he hesitates as he hooks his fingers on the hem of his pants, and when he looks at Jane she bites her bottom lip and looks at him with eager eyes. A small smile pulls from his lips and he leans in and joins their lips again, pulling from his pants and kicking them off before accommodates between Jane’s legs. Her hands roam across his naked shoulders and then his back slowly, like she wants to memorise the feeling of him, and he lets her explore his body knowing that is her first time being in bed with someone like this. He nuzzles her cheek, leaving a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“Don’t stop” Jane whispers.

Bucky licks his lips before he kisses hers again. She makes fists so she doesn’t scratch him as she pulls him closer, her nails dig into her palms as Bucky licks her mouth open and she can’t stop herself from moaning and mewling anymore.

Bucky feels himself grow harder as Jane moans under him, her tongue warm against his as the kiss becomes more desperate, tongues gliding over one and other as a haze settles over the two. He pulls back when he feels her knuckles on his shoulder, and a whine escapes Jane’s lips when he does, her lips searching for his’. He reaches for one of her hands and opens the palm, looking at the small crescent moon-like marks. He takes Jane’s hand to his lips, and she feels the need to apologise, but when Bucky kisses her palms she doesn’t, swallowing tightly as she bites her bottom.

“’ts okay” He whispers, kissing her palms again, “It’s okay, Jane, let go” 

Jane doesn’t say anything, staring at him with a glint in her eyes as he sits on his knees on the bed. Her red lips parted slightly, a crimson blush spreading through her cheeks and neck, her nude body laid out all for him. Bucky runs a hand through his hair, already sweaty and messy, as he drinks the sight infront of him. 

Feet planted on the bed and her knees slightly apart, Jane doesn't know if to spread herself more because he's doing nothing but _stare_ , the blue of his eyes almost gone as his pupils are fully blown with need and want. Jane straightens slightly, before she looks him in the eyes first and then her eyes fall down, where his cock is standing proudly and leaking against his abdomen, heavy balls hanging under it wanting release. Bucky swallows audibly, and Jane looks at him, her hand reaching for his erection. He groans lowly when her hand circles his cock, he won’t last too long much less with Jane touching him.

Bucky’s cock pulses in her hand, hot and heavy as she squeezes experimentally. It's veiny but it feels smooth when she strokes it, and the head is flushed now that he's hard – a deep shade of pink that looks similar to his kiss-swollen lips – Jane runs her thumb across the head and Bucky hisses. 

“If you keep touching me…” Bucky says, looking at her almost apologetically. 

Jane blushes crimson, and then nods releasing him, her hand traveling upwards his navel, abdomen and chest, where his heart is pounding against his ribcage, before she rests her hand one the back of his neck and pulls him in to kiss his lips.

She fits under him perfectly, he realises as she lays on the bed again taking him with her. She feels herself grow wet when Bucky’s right hand moves from her knee to caress the inside of her tight, and then lower. When Bucky pulls away from her lips, he gives a quick peck before his lips start trailing down her neck, her abdomen and belly button, one hand on her hip as the other rests on her knee. Jane lets a shaky breath out, and he looks at her as she spreads her knees apart for him.

Bucky licks his lips panting heavily, he can hear her breathing accelerate, gasping softly as she feels his mouth against the inside of her tight, and then his nose brushing her clit. He waits, not wanting to tease but let her know what he is about to do, hot breath against her core. He sees Jane grip the sheets, before he dips his tongue into her wet heat, lapping from her entrance to her clit slowly, savouring her taste. Bucky keeps his licks heavy, lazy, and deliberate, running his tongue up and over her slit, earning him a gasp of his name. Jane arches on the bed, hands gripping the sheets tighter, before Bucky pulls back, licking his lips and wiping his mouth with the back of his free hand.

Jane breathes hard and heavy, and tries closing her tights when she feels a wetness dribbling down onto the mattress, but he stops her, warm hands on her knees spreading her open again. He drags her towards him, her back rubbing against the sheets, and he is holding her hips until they are flushed against his, he runs his hands up and down her tights. 

"Jane" he says, and his voice is like syrup, "Jane are you with me?"

She looks at him with dazy eyes, and reaches for him to move a strand of his thick black hair out of the way, and then resting her hand on his chest.

Jane smiles softly, "I'm all with you"

Bucky is staring at her, his eyes locked with her own, and there is no pain in them anymore, not like the first time she stared long enough to realised there was any. And Jane would like, from that moment and on, to think it was solely because of her. Because they were together. She pulls him in and kisses him, tasting herself on his tongue. Clumsly at first, as they move on the bed at the same time, Bucky’s body hot and sweaty against Jane’s. The kiss becomes heavier as they find the perfect position for their bodies to move against eachother, she circles his waist with her legs as one of his arms circles her waist and the other one finds its way to the bed frame, where Jane had found herself holding onto.

How he had lasted so long he doesn't know.

He pulls back and kisses her cheek, right on her beauty mark, before he reaches between their bodies for his cock, Jane’s hand hold onto his shoulder and he aligns his cock towards her entrance. A gasp leaves her lips when he pushes the head in, like she's surprised, but not like it hurts and before he can say anything, she spreads her legs more, her knees further apart to take more of him. He wants to thrust inside of her, feel her wrap around him until she comes undone under him. 

“Jane…”

"Yes, Bucky, _yes_ "

Jane doesn't want to close her eyes, she doesn't want to stare at the ceiling as he pushes inside of her inch by inch. So she makes Bucky look at her. She almost regrets it, because her cheeks burn and her eyes sting from the tears, not from pain, she's... Overwhelmed. It's so intimate, having someone this close to her, inside of her as her body opens to accommodate him, getting used to the intrusion. He stops and wipes a strand of hair off her face, kissing her forehead and nose and lips with a delicacy she's never noticed on him before. He groans, still not all the way inside of her, and she knows he's struggling not to thrust, he keeps one hand around the bedframe to balance himself while his other hand held onto her hip. 

Bucky pushes in, inch by inch as slowly as her body allows him to. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but Jane is untouched, he knows it will hurt even if he entered slowly, the least he could do was to make her forget about it afterwards. And when he's finally fully inside of her, Bucky lets out a sound from deep in his chest, and hides his head in the crook of her neck. Jane can feel her body welcoming him, the sting of the virginity loss purely physical, she had been ready for it, _for him_ for a while now.

She kisses him, tongues meeting before she pulls back and nods, body begging to go ahead and take what she is offering, what she’s been wanting for him to give her. The first thrust takes a whimper out of her but she asks him to keep going, it's nothing more but a sting that's fading, it doesn't hurt, she doesn’t know if she keeps telling herself that because she thought it was suppose to. He thrusts slowly into her, and Jane doesn’t even realise he’s touching her _there_ again, until he pulls back to look at her. His fingers move against her nub persistently, and it’s too much combined with the thrust of his hips. Jane pulls him in and in and in... And when she's writhing and arching under him he lets his pride get the best of him as he remembers he's the first one to make her feel what she's feeling, to be the first man to ever touch that spot inside of her that makes her moan like that.

“Bucky, _Bucky_ ”

Jane’s body arches beautifully against him, her breasts flushed against his chest and her knuckles white as she grips the sheets so hard he thinks she's going to rip the off the bedding. Jane, who had been mostly silent, lets out a high pitched moan, panting heavily as her first orgasm takes her by surprise, and is when her body contracts around him that he pulls out of her, just in time to come all over her stomach, letting a gutural sound out as he pumps himself a few times, milking his cock until the last drop.

 

* * *

 

Bucky doesn't sleep more than two hours.

He wakes up to the sound of heavy rain falling upon the colony and finds himself staring at the ceiling and listening to the water against the ceiling, even with the curtains drawn he can see thunder striking outside and lighting up the skies. He isn't sure how Jane sleeps through it, but when he turns to her he finds her sound asleep, breathing softly and rhythmically next to him. She is covered by the thick blanket and nothing more. He closes his eyes listening as she breaths softly against his ear, one of her arms under the pillow she is laying on and the other across his chest. Jane had whispered that she wanted to feel his heartbeat before she fell asleep, he wasn’t sure if she realised she had said it out loud but when he looked at her she was struggling to keep her eyes open, so he didn’t ask, instead letting her drift away. 

He sits on the bed slowly, quietly as possible to not wake her up but knowing that if she could sleep thought a storm like that him making a bit of noise wouldn't bother her. He runs a hand through his face and rests it the back of his neck, glancing once again at the naked woman next to him. Jane Foster. Beautiful, smart, funny, witty and caring, sweet and kind, and most importantly _his_. To protect, to love. He swallows, remembering that he hadn’t told her. Jane had done most of the talking, the little there was, and he looks at her again before leaning in to leave a kiss next to her ear.

There is a knock on the door then. Jane stirs in her sleep but doesn't wake up, so he stands from the bed as quietly and fast as he can, glancing at the clock in the nightstand.

_4:32 a.m._

The wood creaks under his feet when he leans to pick up the shirt long discarded, and he turns to see if Jane has woken up, letting out a relief sight when he finds her still asleep. He puts his shirt on never minding the shoes. Another knock and he grunts, reaching for the door. 

“What is it?” 

Claire offers him an apologetic smile, and he glances at Jane before stepping outside of the room leaving the door ajar. 

“I’m sorry to wake you up but-“

“What is it?” He asks again, arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Claire opens and closes her mouth, she frowns looking at him up and down, before she looks behind him. Bucky shifts his weight from one feet to another, as if he knew that she could see Jane laying on the bed, or maybe read his mind. But even when Claire seems to understand what is happening, she doesn’t say anything, instead clearing her throat and offering an apologetic look.

"There is someone looking for you"

Bucky scowls, “Who?” He licks his lips.

"A friend?” She adds, “Someone you were looking for?”

_Steve_. His mind supplies.

Claire says, “I was asked to tell you to go to the bar but-”

He doesn’t let her finish, instead walking towards the bar despite his feet being naked and Claire telling him to wait for her. If Steve had heard about someone looking for him, that it was Bucky, and had found his way to him somehow. Maybe after all this years he had been looking for Bucky too.

But hope shatters like glass when he reaches the room and he doesn’t see anyone familiar. Instead there are two men, dressed in all black and faces covered by masks, Shadow Men. He freezes on his spot, throwing a glare at them before Claire puts a hand on his arm.

“I was trying to tell you…” She says breathless.

Claire also seems upset about the Shadow Men in her hotel. Bucky doesn’t say anything, instead looking at the scene, because the men are blocking the glass door that gives way to the lobby, like they wouldn’t want him to try to leave.

And then there’s the woman. Who looks at him from head to toe, before she stretches her hand toward him.

“I’m Darcy Lewis”


	16. How To Save A Life

“I know who you are” 

Darcy Lewis looks older than she did in the picture Jane showed him back in Glassmere. The one he knew she kept in her satchel alongside the map and the dagger. She is all dressed in black too, except for the emerald green raincoat she’s wearing, all wet from the rain, and when he glances at her feet, her boots are covered in sand and mud like she walked all the way there. 

“You must be Jack” 

Bucky nods once, not being able to shake her hand as his own are clenched on each side of his body so hard that his knuckles are white. He isn’t sure if he’s upset because he actually thought it would be Steve waiting for him, or because Darcy Lewis has something to do with the Shadow Men he had heard so many bad things about. He remembers Elektra saying that she had been taken by a Lord from Cinders, and that the Shadow Men started appearing when Catalean and Cinders joined their colonies.

Once again, it feels like he’s getting pieces of a puzzle and is expected to complete it. But this isn’t about him, about his memories or his childhood, this has to be about Jane.

“I won’t take much of your time, Miss Temple” Darcy says, and Claire scoffs behind him.

The woman scoffs and leaves the room, pushing the two men blocking the exit. They remain static, and Darcy gestures them to leave the room too. Once they are alone, Darcy gives a step towards him and he moves one back, adapting a defensive posture and he narrowing his eyes at her. 

Darcy looks like she wasn’t expecting him to know about her. She licks her lips nervously and walks pass him, walking towards the wooden bar a few feet from them. She unlaces the string around her neck and shrugs off the coat, resting it on the stool’s armrest, before she takes a seat gesturing him to sit too.

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “Are you with them?” 

Darcy glances at where the Shadow Men had disappeared, and then gives him a strange look, but she doesn’t answer. There is nothing intimidating about Darcy Lewis, if anything she looks more intimidated or nervous about him, specially once her bodyguards left the room. Bucky relaxes his shoulders and walks towards her, pulling the stool next to her out and taking a seat.

“I’m aware that people are… Reluctant about them being around” Darcy says finally, “But my Commander insisted I came protected”

Bucky frowns looking at her fingers drumming on the bar.

“I’m under the protection of The Cinder’s High Commander, you see” The raven haired woman adds, “These are his men”

Bucky simply stares, waiting for her to say more but she doesn’t, instead she reaches for one of the bottles behind the bar – the vodka he had shared with Claire – and reads the label.

“I got Jane’s message”

He scowls, “What message?”

Darcy cocks an eyebrow, "the radio message” she replies, “Sent from The Bait”

The Bait. Bucky’s mind travels to the night before, while Luke talked to him about the many drinks behind his bar he remembers seeing an old radio, he wasn’t sure if it worked and he didn’t ask. But Jane did. Of course she did. 

“I wouldn’t have believed it was her if it wasn’t for her words at the end,” Darcy continues, she chuckles softly, “Whenever she wrote me a letter, for my birthdays or holidays, she would sign at the bottom with ‘Mobilis in Mobili’” 

Bucky follows her every movement with his eyes, “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea” She lifts her gaze towards him, “Jules Verne”

Bucky turns to her, and allows her to look for whatever she needs to find in his face by staring so much. Like she’s trying to catch him in a lie. Jane had mentioned him in the letter, he realises, and Darcy didn’t know him or his intentions. Bucky didn’t blame her for being… Cautious. Besides, Bucky knew how he looked like when he was defensive.

Darcy breaks their stare of and clears her throat, “The reason I send for you instead of her” she starts, and Bucky curses himself for not asking what was that about, “Is because I needed to meet you first” 

He frowns. She picks up two glasses and fills them up to the middle with vodka, sliding one to him across the bar.

"You must have been traveling for a while,” Darcy takes a sip from her drink, “Claire was kind enough to supply me with some information"

Bucky swallows, "We-"

"I need you to tell her that she will be better with me"

He is taken aback by the request. It’s like Darcy knew that Jane had decided to stay with him instead of going to Cinders. He gets the feeling Darcy knows more that what she says, or whatever Claire had told her. 

"Look, what happened to our home... Was awful, but I don't think it ended there" 

He tenses, "What do you mean?"

"Jane might still be in danger" Darcy looks at the drink in her hands, "And only we can protect her" 

Bucky’s heart starts pounding in his chest, but Darcy maintains her poise and calm exterior. Smoke and mirrors, his mind supplies when she reaches for her drink and her fingers are shaking as they wrap around the tumblr.

"Who's we?"

Darcy lifts her gaze but doesn't look at him, instead focusing on the many portraits on the wall.

"I'm under the protection of the High Commander from the Cinder and his family" She takes a sip of her drink, "The Odinson family" she turns to him, "As in Thor Odinson"

Thor. The man Jane was suppose to marry. This time he reaches for the glass infront of him and wets his lips with the vodka.

"Did she tell you about-"

"Jane wants to stay with me" he hear himself say, and he hates the way his voice breaks at the end of the sentence.

Darcy lets out a strained chuckle, like she finds it ridiculous, or maybe at how pathetic he sounded. He grips the glass tightly looking away from her. 

"I believe she did say that" He hears her say, "And I do think she wants to stay with you" 

_But_. He thinks. 

"But you know that she would be better of with us"

It feels like someone slapped him. And he feels his jaw clench his teeth.

"You are nobody" Darcy says, "What would happen when someone comes for her? You won't be able to protect her" Her voice is soft but her words feel like daggers, "We can" he looks at her, "We will" 

The worst of it all, is that she is right. What if the reason Pierce invaded Glassmere was for something other than a broken business deal? If there was an ulterior motive Jane isn't aware of... Or safe from. He looks at Darcy, and takes the glass to his lips again. Darcy had the protection of a High Commander, who could protect Jane from any danger if there is one. Who had already saved Darcy from Arcadia, and taken her safely to her new home. 

He stays quiet for a few seconds, looking at the empty glass in his hands, "She won't agree"

Bucky knew Jane, she wouldn't stay in Cinders now that she made up her mind about going to Maraud with him. Now that she already knew she wanted to stay with him. And he had agreed even though he knew how dangerous it was, even when he knew deep inside that they might not even make it to the Freelands.

"Wh-“

“She wants to stay with me” Bucky says, closing his eyes feeling tired all of sudden, “I want her to stay with me”

He lifts his gaze, and he wished he had enough alcohol in his system to ignore the way Darcy looked at him with pity. Like she knows he wants to say it’s because he thinks he loves her. No. He didn't _think_ it was love, he knew it. He loved Jane, and she... Didn't say she loved him.

"Let her go" She says, and then, “Break her heart”

He swallows tightly.

"It's the only way she would agree"

Darcy speaks quietly, as if she’s afraid her words would break the glass in her hands like they are shattering Bucky’s heart inside his chest. 

"The only way she will be _safe_ "

_What would happen_ when _someone comes for her?_

She is about to stand when he circles her wrist, “If I do this” and he can’t believe he is about to agree, “Do you promise” he licks his lips, “That no harm will come to her" 

The woman looks at him, “I would give my life for Jane” she says solemnly, “I promise”

Darcy stands from her stool finally, and pulls out two envelopes from the front pocket of her raincoat. She tells him one is for Jane’s eyes only, and the other one contains two tickets for the ferry that travels from Catalean to The Cinders every morning at nine.

She reaches for her coat, “You are expected to deliver her” She adds, “To collect your reward” 

Bucky doesn’t look at her, he listens to the sound her boots make as she walks away at a fast pace, adjusting the raincoat tightly around her neck before she pushes the exit doors open.

_She is right_. The voice inside his head tells him. He shouldn't listen to it, it's the same voice that told him to help Jane out of Arcadia, the same voice that said it was okay for him to fall for her, and the same one that told him the night before that Jane and him would stay together. He shuts it down. Because it was the same voice that told him that Jane and him would have a happy ending, and in a world like this, even the New World, that was not a possibility for a man like him.

_She is right_. Pierce would be looking for her. Hell, they must already be looking for him - for escaping, for killing Zola - he would never be able to protect Jane while he himself was in danger. They were never going to stop running. 

He reaches for the bottle of vodka and pours himself a glass, before reaching for the letter Darcy left Jane and opening the envelope.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane doesn't remember the dream she was having as she starts to wake up. She shuts her eyes tightly as she stretches her legs as much as she can, uncurling her toes not covered by the sheet she is wrapped in. There's a pleasant sensation that runs through her body, before the memories of the night before rush to her brain. Jane smiles softly, ignoring the blush she feels on her cheeks and the warmth in the pit of her stomach, as she reaches for the other side of the bed for Bucky, frowning when she finds the bed empty and already cold, like the man had awaken a while ago. She sits on the mattress, looking around to find the sliding doors open ajar and the curtains slightly pulled.

"Bucky?"

When there is no answer she wraps herself in the sheets, reaching for the gun left in the nightstand the night before. When her fingers brush against something else her gaze falls, finding a bright yellow sheet of paper. The sound of the waves crashing outside disappear as her heart starts racing, blood rushing through her ears when she recognizes the handwriting. It's messy, the ink splattered in the ending of each word, but still clear enough for her to understand. Darcy always wrote like she was in a hurry.

 

_Jane,_

_If it wasn’t for the words you so carefully chose to be sent to me, I wouldn’t have believed it was you. I am so happy that you have found your way out of Arcadia and now you are so close to me._

_Sir Odinson took me from Arcadia when he recognised me from many years ago. He had ordered for you to be brought here safe and sound, I have already told him about what happened to our home, about the terrible fire that took our family and how we decided to leave once your father was overthrown._

_Jane, you will find a home with me._

_Tomorrow morning, the ferry will be waiting for you and your companion, who will be rewarded accordingly, and I will be in The Cinders waiting for you._

_Come winter we shall be stronger, Jane, and winter is coming._

_-_ _L._

_mobilis in mobili._

 

Jane's sight blurs at the words in the end of the letter, and the thought of Darcy knowing she is closer. She feels a rush of excitement and happiness, but then she realises the letter is crumpled in the same spot she is holding it. Bucky had already read the letter before she did. With the back of her hand she wipes the tears on her cheeks and blinks the rest away before she leaves the letter aside. Jane reaches for her pijamas that were left on the floor and then wraps herself in the robe that matched.

When she slides the doors open the cold morning air hits her face, sending shivers down her spine. There is a small staircase that leads to the beach, Jane can hear the waves as she makes her way down, she can smell the salt in the cold air and the fact that the sand is cold under her toes remind her about the storm the day before. She can see Bucky sitting a few feet away in the sand, looking at the distance like he’s trying to find something, or like he lost something. Jane knows now that he had seen the letter, that he figured she had gone behind his back and contacted The Cinders, that she had finally found Darcy, what she doesn't understand is the way he looks at her when he turns.

They just stare at eachother.

And when Bucky starts walking towards her, his posture is the one of the stranger she had first met instead of the man she had spent the night making love with. 

“I’m sorry” 

Jane says, because she knows this is about sending the message without his permission. It has to be.

He stops when he's one step above her, but he doesn't look at her. Jane reaches for his hand making a fist and squeezes softly, trying to make him look at her. 

“Talk to me”

“After the sun goes out, we leave in the ferry to Cinders, Darcy will be there” he says, “you’ll be there safe and sound, just like I promised”

Jane frowns at the tone he is uses. Dry, cold. 

“You wanted to stay with Darcy, right?” Bucky says sharply, wrenching himself from her hold, “I’m doing what you wanted”

“Yes, it is- But I-“

“And for that, I will be rewarded accordingly” 

Jane feels like her heart shatters. And she inhales sharply as her mind goes completely blank. Bucky does look at her then, and despite being close enough to feel the heat from his body, his eyes seem distant, grim. He waits a few beats as if letting her find a reply but she is lost at words. He nods then, and walks inside the room leaving the sliding doors open for her. Jane lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and swallows back the tears threatening to leave her eyes, instead feeling the anger recoil her insides, and a phantom hand squeezes her lungs preventing her from breathing. She holds on to the wooden banister as her legs cave under her, sitting on the steps as she tries to take a few deep breaths.

Bucky was right, the dawn is beautiful.


	17. Crocodile

The day turns grey.

The morning rain clouds up the window as Jane presses her forehead against the glass and lets out a deep breath. She draws patters on the glass trying to distract herself as she listens to Claire talk to Bucky outside of the room. They talk about the check out and the pricing, before switching to a hushed conversation that Jane believes is about them leaving to Cinders so quickly. She looks at the unmade bed, and the bags all packed on top of it, and walks towards hers to zip it close. Bucky’s bags look a lot less heavy than hers does, and she wonders if he is going to come back to Catalean after Cinders, or if he will continue his journey to Maraud like he wanted to. 

Jane reaches for her satchel and pulls out the wrinkled map, she glances at the door and when she sees it still close, she opens Bucky’s bag and puts the map inside. Whether he is abandoning her or not, she would still want him to find his way to the Freelands safely. She considers leaving a note or something, but Bucky says goodbye to Claire and she gets no time for it. 

She tried to think about something to say after that morning exchange, but he remained too quiet, too closed off. Like everything had already been said and done. Bucky locked himself in the bathroom then, and she didn’t hear the shower being turn on but minutes later he came out dressed in jeans and a shirt. He was in a hurry to leave and she too was in a hurry to reunite with Darcy, even if that meant saying goodbye to Bucky.

She hated that her goodbyes always came unannounced.

Even when the word hadn’t been said it had been a goodbye when Julia told her she would be safe with the maids, when Darcy told her that it was okay when they were separated once they arrived to Arcadia, or when her father kissed her forehead and said he was sorry… And then Bucky the night before. If she had known telling him she loved him would mean goodbye she would have kept it to herself. She wouldn’t have told him she wanted to take her to Maraud and stay with him, she wouldn’t have asked him to kiss her and she wouldn’t have let him take her. 

Jane takes a shaky breath in, “I didn’t say it”

_I didn’t say I love you._

She turns to Bucky and Claire, but when he turns and doesn’t even look at her she realises it didn’t matter anymore. 

Claire says politely, “Thank you for visiting” she says, “Goodbye”

Jane manages a smile.

Bucky doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t say anything for the next long, excruciating minutes as they walk away from The Eye of The Sea.

“Slow down”

She finds herself saying all of sudden.

Glancing at her he feels the pang of regret bloom in his chest, where his heart feel heavy and not there at all at the same time. He stops walking, keeping his distance from her, and Jane lets the heavy bag on her shoulder fall to the ground. She is panting as if she ran a marathon, and he knows is because she is having a hard time keeping up with his fast pace. Despite the weather being cold since that morning, a drop of sweat rolls down her forehead, and her cheeks are coloured pink as she breaths harshly through her mouth.

“It’s almost nine” He says.

Jane looks at him, and he can tell she is angry.

Anger had always protected him from the pain. So when Jane walks up to him and slaps him hard across the face he lets her. He lets out a small chuckle, rubbing his jaw with one hand. 

“Why are you doing this?!” She yells, “Why do you want me to leave?!”

_Let her go._

He swallows thickly, “This is what-“

“No, Bucky, no” Jane shakes her head, “You- you said... You said yes”

Bucky glares at a woman who walks too close to them trying to pick up the conversation, and then turns to Jane, “We gotta go”

Jane looks like she was slapped. And when Bucky walks up to her and reaches for her bag, she moves his hands away. He tries again, and she repeats the action putting a hand on his shoulder.

“If you really want me to go, just tell me why” Jane’s voice is strained, like she’s being held by her throat as she speaks, “What did last night… Meant”

Bucky looks around, running a hand through his face and hair.

_Break her heart_.

He looks at her again, eyes narrowed as he moves closer to her face.

“I had a itch to scratch and you wanted to know how _it_ felt" 

What hurts the most is not the fact that he knows those words will haunt him for the rest of his life. What hurts the most is that Jane stares at him in silence, eyes filled with sadness and… Disappointment. She gives a step back and nods softly, picking up her bag and continue to walk towards the dock.

 

* * *

 

Jane might be seasick. She feels the world is moving without her somehow, her vision unable to focus on anything as her eyes stare at the distance infront of her. Bucky wishes he could say something or had something to say at all, but he knows that he can’t. For Jane to be able to be safe he had to let her go, Bucky was… He was never going to be enough. 

He realises he’s right – and that Darcy was right – when the ferry approaches the other end of the large body of water between colonies and Jane finally lifts her gaze. He is leaning against the railing Jane is holding onto, and when they are closer to the dock, almost immediately, she reaches for him.

“It’s her”

He looks at when her hand grips the sleeve of his leather jacket, and then at her. She takes a shaky breath in, brown eyes displaying a variety of emotions in just a fraction of a second. Shock, incredulity, relieve, and finally joy. Her cheeks and nose turn pink and her bottom lip trembles, before she takes another deep breath in, like she’s gasping for air, and then lets him go. He shuts his eyes, leaning against the railing before he looks ahead.

Darcy is standing on the dock, accompanied by four Shadow Men. It isn’t until he hears Jane’s voice call Darcy, that he realises the ferry stopped moving and that it was only him on the deck. Darcy runs towards Jane, and they meet in the middle of the dock, throwing their arms around eachother in a tight embrace. Darcy pulls back and say something as she looks at Jane’s face, before she hugs her again and kisses the top of the head. Jane forgets about him, at least he hopes she does and about everything he said, and Darcy holds her hand as they walk away.

_Turn around_. He thinks.

But Jane doesn’t, and that’s alright. It has to be.

 

* * *

 

The Cinders is the second biggest Colony in the New World. It’s where most of the machines used come from, and home to the only factories left from the old world. They manufactured everything from textile, glass, to paper, and everything needed to built houses and buildings, even candy and canned food (although most people preferred to grow theirs since it was less expensive) that they exported all year long. It was also the less populated colony, and most of the people that lived there had to work at the factories. 

They have working cars. And Jane twists her fingers nervously on her lap as Bucky is put in a different one than her and Darcy as they take them… Wherever it is they are going. She really doesn’t care, but she feels the need to ask Darcy. As if she can read her mind, or see that she is anxious Darcy reaches for her hands and intertwines their fingers before she squeezes softly. Jane glances at Darcy and offers her a small smile, before she continues to look outside the window, not wanting to lose sight of the car where Bucky was.

She looks at the open fields as they drive further into the colony and away from the oceanside. It’s like another world then – really every colony is, she realises – while Glassmere was white snow and clear ice, and Catalean was sand and blue sea, The Cinders is grey, green and gold. It side stretches before her like a great quilt of golden, brown and green squares held together by the thick green stitching of the hedgerows. Jane presses a button and the windows start rolling down, letting the cold air from outside in. She breaths in, practically sticking her head out of the window. For the first time in a while, since she started traveling with Bucky, she feels… Isolation, but even with the quiet of the fields and having Darcy finally next to her, she couldn’t feel at peace.

They drive for what feels hours and hours, until the air doesn’t smell like salt anymore, before Darcy speaks again. 

“We are here” She says.

And Jane looks at her before the woman points out the window and the car starts slowing down. She follows her finger, and sees a tall stone wall topped with iron spikes. Behind, there was an old country mansion, high upon the hill overlooking everything else.

_Is this home now_?

 

* * *

 

Bucky doesn’t pay attention to what Darcy is saying as they walk inside.

He can’t help but feel as if they are being watch, despite the enormous mansion looking so empty inside, so much that when the doors close behind them there is an echo that comes back to them from the long hallway, which serves as the main avenue of traffic and entrance area to the adjacent rooms. Long windows that would let the rays of sun in if the skies weren’t clouded.

The spacious foyer is adorned with marble statues and beautiful paintings are hung on the walls. There is a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a staircase that give way to the second floor. From where there is a man looking at them as they enter, observing them, he is dressed in elegant garments and his hair is neatly styled. Jane and this man were the same kind of people, the thought wasn’t as comforting as it should be but it’s all he has left, and that Jane’s home had been just like this one before it had been burned down so she was probably used to that kind of… Opulence. 

“At last”

Both Jane and Darcy look at him too. He is tall and his skin in pale, as he makes his way down the stairscase, his face is split into a wide grin that’s predatory, or mischevious in a way that makes Bucky slightly uncomfortable. He is wearing a dark green suit, and Bucky looks at Darcy and sees she’s wearing the same scheme of colors. So are the maids that rush to take their bags from them, and the man that closes the door behind them. 

“You must be Jane”

Jane glances at Darcy, who gives her a nod. A silent conversation of ‘Is this okay’, and ‘it’s fine’. Bucky frowns, because Jane had said that she didn’t know Thor’s last name, but she did mention she had met him at least once. The man reaches for Jane’s hand and kisses her knuckles. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you”

Jane offers a polite nod, “Likewise Mister…”

The man’s lips are pulled into a small smile.

“You must not recognise me” He chuckles, “Of course not, you were a child when we met, and very briefly it was”

Her brown eyes move from the man, to Darcy and then back at him. Bucky feels invisible, and under the man’s sudden gaze, he definitely wishes he was.

“This is Thor’s brother, Jane” Darcy says.

The man takes Jane’s hand and kisses her knuckles.

“Loki”

 

* * *

 

The bathroom was filled with steam when he finally turns off the shower. Bucky rolls his shoulders, feeling a pleasant ache between his shoulder blades, a similar to the one he felt after working out, or when he was warming up for a fight. He reaches for one of the towels neatly folded underneath the sink and rubs it across his body, staring at the cloud up mirror infront of him.

He had been meaning to leave as soon as Jane was left on the doorstep, or after he had at least said goodbye. But the man, Loki, had insisted upon all of them having dinner together. ‘A celebratory diner’ he said, that stupid, sardonic smile plastered on his face. Darcy had dragged Jane away then, even before he could refuse or accept staying, and Jane did turn around to look at him at the same time Loki told one of the maids to escort him to the guest room. there had been something in her eyes, like she didn’t want him to leave despite all that was said, and he told himself he could stay a while longer just until Jane was settled. 

He wipes the mirror and leans on the sink, staring at his reflection looking back at him. Jane's voice echoes inside his head telling him he looked older than the twenty five years he had turned less than two months ago, and the truth was that he felt older too. Not because his body felt older, he no longer ached so dully everytime he woke, but because of everything that he had been through, everything he had endured. He replays memory of waking up next to her, her honey brown eyes soft as she spoke quietly to him.

That morning seemed so far away now.

He remembers too, that Jane would have been able to wake up to him next to him if only he hadn’t open the door to Caliban. And then he remembers earlier that morning, he opened the door to Claire… To Darcy Lewis.

"You stupid idiot"

Bucky chuckles bitterly, not wanting to look at himself any longer. Wrapping a large towel around his hips, he finally leaves the bathroom slamming the door close behind him. The maid who guided him – who insisted in undressing him to ‘throw away’ his clothes – was thankfully no longer there, but she had left clean clothes for him. Bucky grunts looking at the pressed black slacks and white shirt, wondering if the dinner was going to be a formal event or if he was going to be the only dressed like that.

He is zipping the pants when the doors open, and he scowls when the woman enters the room. Bucky is partly annoyed since he isn't ready yet, the shirt still open and his feet still naked against the rug, but partly relieved that she is also wearing formal attire – a long red dress with a slit on the side that shows her left leg as she makes his way towards him – and he offers her a polite nod, thinking that she would leave immediately. Instead, she looks at him from head to toe smirking as she moves closer. 

"Need any help?"

Bucky scowls, and then shakes his head.

"I'll be ready in a minute, ma’am" He adds when she shows no sign of leaving.

"Hela" she tells him and he rises an eyebrow, “My name, handsome, use it” She clarifies tugging from the shirt, "You must not be used to these kind of clothes"

"That obvious" he says flatly.

Hela chuckles amused, buttoning up his shirt, "Not that is a bad thing, that leather jacket and dirt up jeans suited you"

Bucky stops her when she reaches for his belt, and she looks at him under her eyelashes before rising her hands with a smirk on her face. He doesn’t remember seeing her when they arrived, but he doesn’t mention it, instead continuing to dress. He turns to see himself in the mirror and Hela smiles at him, sneaking her hands to his shoulders. Her breath is warm as she leans in, lips brushing the shell of his ear.

"These ones look even better" Hela’s hands slither across his chest and shoulders, where she digs her nails slightly, making him tense.

He glances at her over his shoulder, “Were you here for a particular reason or did your High Commander order you to dress me?”

The woman lets him go and gives a few steps back, a sardonic smile curling her red tinted lips showing a line of pearly white teeth. It’s almost predatory, the way she walks making a circle around him with the question still unanswered. Bucky doesn’t like being stared at like a circus animal, even though he had practically being one most of his life, he follows Hela with his eyes but she just looks more amused than intimidated once she catches him glaring. Bucky often lowered his guard around women, but there was something about Hela that reminded him of Aida. And Pierce.

“He does not order me to do anything” Hela finally says, “I’m his sister above everything else”

And Loki.

“His sister” Bucky scowls, “You are Thor Odinson’s sister”

Hela makes a face, “Thor” she rolls her eyes and walks towards the bed finally leaving his space, “Is that why you came all the way here with Selvig’s daughter?” she picks up the tie left on top of the sheets, “You figure the reward for getting her back to her promised prince would be substantial” She cocks an eyebrow at him.

Bucky swallows tightly, but shrugs nonchalantly. Darcy and all those people had certain idea of Jane’s story that he knew he had to keep, so he would talk and say as little as possible until he could leave.

“She could have been lying”

He looks at her with the corner of his eye. Hela puts the tie around his neck, tying it almost too tight.

“Oh, but with those big bambi eyes…” She sighs, loosing the tie a little, “I bet she could get anyone to do _anything_ for her”

_She could indeed_. Bucky thinks. He moves to reach for the shoes next to the bed, ignoring the way Hela continues to observe him.

“Too bad for her thought,” Hela sits on the bed crossing her legs, “My dear brother’s sudden death means she no longer has a fianceé”

Bucky turns to her, “What?”

She pouts her lips as she stares at her nails, “Thor died about three weeks ago” Bucky frowns and Hela stands from the bed with one swift movement, “Not to worry, _Jack_ ” Her tongue curls around the name like a suggestion, “I will personally see that you are… Rewarded for your efforts”

Bucky stares at Hela as she makes her way to the door. The woman turns to him as she opens the door, and winks when she finds him staring.

“Dinner is served” Hela winks, before closing the door behind her.


	18. She’s Not There

The maids leave finally, after fixing her bath and taking her bags and ‘dirty’ clothes, and she is left completely alone. They had been hovering over her after one maid told Darcy that Sir Loki was expecting her in his studio, so she wasn’t with her. She enters the bathroom in a hurry, wanting to wash away the feeling of heaviness that had settled into her bones. 

Jane walks into the giant bathtub in the middle of the very spacious bathroom sitting slowly inside, almost moaning at the cold water against her skin. She sinks into it almost immediately, not bothering with bath salts or soaps of any kind, enjoying the clear water and the vast sensation that being under it brings her. After a few seconds she finds herself sitting on the middle of it, playing with the sponge left for her, sinking under the water only to pull it out and squeeze it. She takes her knees to her chest and hugs her legs, as she squeezes the sponge on her neck, wanting to close her eyes for a while. Her mind travels to Bucky, wondering if he's being treated as well as she was.

After they separated, Loki had spoken as if he was some king of hero from helping Jane get "home" safely, perhaps he was being _rewarded accordingly_. A nice meal, new clothes, a warm bath like he likes.

Jane shakes her head, scolding herself for even worrying about whatever happened to him, what he was doing or what he would do after they parted ways. The way he had acted towards her after everything. 

_Stop thinking, Jane, don’t hurt yourself._

But something didn’t feel right. She tells herself it was just because she had been so used to his constant presence that now that he’s leaving… It felt like withdrawal.

She takes a shaky breath in, closing her eyes tightly as her sight blurs.

"Please don't cry" Jane says to herself, "Don't"

But her tears stream down her face not caring that she begged herself. Jane gives up and lets herself cry while she's alone, her eyes stinging with tears and cheeks burning. The cold water mixing with her tears a reminder of everything that has happened to her not being as important to anyone else, she’s tired of keeping everything bottled up, so she allows the tears stream down her face freely.

"Jane?" 

Darcy's voice shatters the silence. And maybe she wasn't being exactly quiet, her sobs bouncing against the walls as she lifts her head, hearing her own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside.

"Oh, Jane"

The woman doesn't bother in asking permission to enter the bathtub, water splashing everywhere as she kneels next to Jane and pulls her into a tight embrace, cradling her nude body as a mother would her newborn. Her heart yanks in and out of her chest, Over and over, in and out, she felt hollow. Darcy is there, and she’s holding her and kissing her, trying to reach into her hollowness. But her heart screamed for someone else.

"Jane, what happened to you?" Darcy asks, kissing the top of her head, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry" 

She kisses her forehead one, twice, three times before she too starts crying. 

"I left you there" Darcy sobs then, "I _left you_ " 

She cries harder and Jane can hear the remorse and the guilt, Jane shakes her head and grips the sleeve of her dress tightly. She pulls herself together, she has to. 

"I'm fine, I'm here now, I'm fine" 

A few minutes pass and neither say anything, before Jane starts feeling too cold and shivering slightly in Darcy's arms. 

Darcy takes a deep breath, "Let's get you out of here"

Darcy doesn't ask anything as Jane dries her hair, wrapped in a nice robe that had been laid for her, she simply takes a towel and wraps herself around it, sitting on the bed as Jane examines the clothes that was left for her. A simple, but beautiful velvet dress that looked way too formal for dinner, tights and shinny shows. She glances at Darcy, who simply shrugs, and Jane realises Darcy was wearing an equally stunning dress - all wet now, but she didn't seem to mind. 

“I never thought I'd be happy to see a bra” Jane says, picking up the one in the bed. 

Darcy laughs softly and a smile pulls from Jane’s lips.

The woman stands from the bed and tells her she will be back, before she leaves the room closing the door behind her. Jane dresses in silence, not wanting to think and have another meltdown. She dresses at a slow pace deliberately, she doesn’t want to go to that diner, or to see anyone for a while with the exception of Darcy, but she also knows it’s better to just… Get over with it. Everything fits her, the underwear, the petticoat, the dress. Everything is perfect.

“Like a glove” She says at her reflection in the mirror.

At least she doesn’t have to wear gloves. 

As promised Darcy comes back. She doesn't say anything as Jane finishes putting the shinny shoes and then looking at the full length mirror, unnecessarily flattening the dress with her hands. Julia would tell her she look lovely, she thinks, like a lady should look. 

"Do you want to talk?" 

She turns to Darcy.

“About earlier"

Jane is about to say she doesn't, that it didn't mean anything, but she remembers the guilt in Darcy's eyes, and she realises what Darcy is thinking. _Jane blames her_. She walks towards the bed and sits next to her friend, her sister, and takes her hand. Darcy looks like she is about to apologise again, for being late or abandoning Jane, but that hadn't been the case. Neither had given up on the other. 

"You didn't abandon me, Darcy" Jane says, "You didn't leave me, you waited for me here"

Darcy pulls her into a warm embrace, and Jane smiles into her hair holding her tightly. When she pulls back she takes a shaky breath in, and then tells Darcy everything. About Aida, the House, Mother Esther, she tells him about Bucky keeping the details out – including his name, because for Darcy and everyone else he is Jack – but she does tells her about Elektra and Haze, the Ravangers and visiting Glassmere. When she is done, she is out of breath, and Darcy looks like she can't believe half of it. Jane sometimes couldn’t either.

"And I cut my hair” Jane adds

Darcy reaches for her hair and smiles, and when Jane sees her smile a relief laugh bubbles from her chest. Darcy follows, happy tears forming in the corner of her eyes. 

"I missed you so much" She says between hiccups.

"Me too, Darcy" Jane replies.

A knock on the door startles them, and one of the maids from before opens the door slightly.

"Dinner will be served in twenty minutes"

And then she leaves. 

Darcy smiles at Jane, raising an eyebrow, "You should do something with that hair” 

Jane chuckles and stands from the bed, sitting infront of the vanity as Darcy waits for her. For a minute, it's almost as if they were back in Glassmere, Jane getting ready for some boring event with her father while Darcy sat on the bed telling her about her plans for the weekend, which were always much more interesting than Jane's.

"So..." 

Jane looks at Darcy’s reflection on the mirror.

"That Jack guy" Darcy continues, “he seemed... Stoic" 

She is playing with a thread from the bedsheet distractingly, wanting to change the mood into a more lighter one, but not knowing the reason Jane was distraught was mainly because of the man. Jane scolds herself mentally not wanting to sound like a clingy virginal girl who just lost her beloved. 

"Did something happen?"

Jane glances at her, shaking her head nonchalantly before reaching for a comb to untangle her hair with.

"Why the question?" Jane asks.

Darcy sighs, "Well, you tell me about all these things, how he helped, the traveling for weeks together..." She pouts her lips, "Yet you both seemed rather eager to part ways"

Jane's brow furrows, "He seemed eager?" She asks, sounding a bit too interested and way too hurt.

She recovers quickly, at least she thinks she does, and continues combing her hair in silence. 

Darcy raises a questioning eyebrow, "He said he could leave as soon as the sun came out" she continues, "He resisted joining us for dinner, and he didn't want the reward the Loki was offering" 

Jane tenses and then she turns slowly to Darcy, who takes her eyes off her quickly and looks at her nails with fake interest.

"He wouldn't accept the reward?" Jane frowns.

Darcy shakes her head, "Nor the credits, or the clothes, the new car... Not even the freaking horse" 

Jane's frown deepens. The last thing Bucky had said had been about him getting his reward for helping her, or she had said it, she shakes her head now confused even more about what had happened. All she remembers clearly is Bucky telling her that the night before had been just a one time thing. Itch to scratch, he said. And then she had slapped him and hit him with all she had, just for him to remain like a stone, at the end she had been hurt more than she hurt him both physically and emotionally. Jane runs a hand through her face in frustration, and then resumes brushing her hair almost angrily. 

"So, I'm asking again" Darcy says slowly, "Just to be clear" she adds, "Did something else other than dangerous traveling happened?"

Jane slams the brush against the wooden surface the vanity is made of. 

"You know I don't even know him well" She starts untangling her curly mess with her fingers, "He is too quiet, it's infuriating, specially because he's not even quiet" Darcy frowns, "he grunts, growls, and- and _snores_ "

Darcy stares at her in silence. 

"He doesn't even let me help at first, then I practically- no, _literally_ save his life and he doesn't thank me until days pass and he almost gets himself killed again in a fight"

"Jesus, this guy is like Rocky" Darcy mumbles.

"And he has all these books that doesn't even read and Harry Potter is incomplete, then he helps me and doesn't tell me why, and I tell Bucky he's good and he says he isn't, then I- we go through Desolation together, all this time! And we finally get some peace and- and- and-" 

Darcy stares, "And?"

"And we- we spent the night and the next day he throws it all away for nothing?! He doesn't want the reward?!" Jane stands from the chair and starts pacing around the room, Darcy's eyes on her.

"Wait, who is Harry Potter? And who is Bucky?" Darcy ask, she then shakes her head, "No- back up, you spent the night?" 

Jane's cheeks are flushed angry red, her hands clenched so tight than her knuckles are almost white. Her hair is still all out of place, sticking out everywhere and she is panting as if she had just ran ten miles. Still, Darcy can't hide the small smile threatening to leave her lips. And when Jane notices – and takes a look at herself in the mirror – she feels a rush of embarrassment. She falls on the chair almost defeated and covers her face in shame. 

"I sound like I'm crazy" Jane says, "Do I sound like I'm crazy?" She looks at Darcy.

Darcy swallows tightly, "You sound like… You are in love"

Jane frowns, "Love?" Her frowns deepens, "I barely know him to- to-"

Darcy sighs and stands from the bed, walking towards Jane at a slow pace. Jane leans back on the chair, looking at her feet still embarrassed and still feeling her cheeks too warm. When Darcy stands infront of her she sighs and then grabs her face. 

"Darcy what do I do?" 

“Did he… Say he wanted to stay with you?” 

Jane's eyesight blurs, and she shakes her head. 

"He doesn't want me" Jane says, "just like he doesn't want the credits or the clothes"

“No” Darcy shakes her head, "He doesn’t want the reward, because he rather have you"

Darcy makes Jane look at her, pinching her cheeks slightly. Jane chuckles weakly and circles her wrists but doesn't make her let go, instead leaning into Darcy’s touch. 

"I think you know this man- this _Bucky_ ” Jane bites her bottom lip, “better than anyone, and more than you think"

"I’m not sure anymore” Jane whispers.

A flash of something crosses Darcy’s features. Regret or remorse again, but this time is not about Jane. 

“Listen, Jane-“

A knock in the door interrupts them. And the same woman from before, who Jane now notices Darcy doesn't like by the way she rolls her eyes and lets Jane go, enters the room. She must be not a maid but another guest, she doesn't ask permission to enter or offers Darcy a polite nod like all the others did. 

"Hela" Darcy says, tone dry.

"Dinner is served, darlings" Hela says, "The High Commander has asked me to escort you personally" 

Jane glances at Darcy and then at Hela.

"Let's go" Darcy says before she can say anything, "I'll walk her" she tells the woman. 

Hela offers a forced smile as Darcy grabs Jane's hand and they both leave the room. Jane hears Hela mutter something but doesn't quite get what she said, since Darcy doesn't mind she shrugs it off too. The conversation they were having was going to have to wait until after dinner.


	19. The Reward II

Twenty thousand credits. A bag full of clothing like the suit he was wearing. A goddamn horse. 

He keeps replaying that in his mind. Loki had offered either of those things to him as a reward for helping Jane, and when Bucky refused, he had offered _all_ of them. Bucky could have laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, but he had the feeling that Loki could have him executed. After all, he didn’t seem to be _all there_. With his extravagant house, strange obsession with one scheme of color, and the way his temper seemed to change quickly. One second he was yelling like a madman at the maids, and the next one he was smiling politely at Jane and Darcy as they entered the dining room. He stands up to greet them, and gestures Bucky to do so – he does, just because – but Hela remains seated on her chair, sipping her cup of red wine with an unimpressed look on her face.

Jane is wearing a dress similar to Darcy’s, but in a deep shade of purple. They all take their respective seats as Loki calls the maids to serve diner. The man sits in the main chair and Hela facing him on the other side of the table, Jane and Darcy on the left side of the table, while Bucky occupies the right, infront of Jane who doesn’t lifts her gaze to look at him. 

Bucky hadn’t realise how hungry he was until the maids bring out the food, settling the plates and glasses infront of each of them. He can see Jane’s mouth water too, and feels a pang of guilt for not remembering that neither had the chance to have breakfast before they left Catalean. He wishes things had been different, that he had being honest with her and that Jane had understand that this was the best for her. It was, he kept telling himself that.

“Before we begin” Loki says.

Bucky catches Hela, who had already started to dig into her salad, rolling her eyes before dropping the fork she had in her hands. 

“This has been a rough few months for all of us” 

Jane looks at him then, before she reaches for her glass of wine and looks at Loki.

“After my father’s death, we all fell lost” Loki continues, and Hela scoffs which earns her a glare from the man, “And then my dear brother…”

Darcy glances at Jane. Who doesn’t seem to react, before she swallows and frowns slightly. 

“Thor was a great High Commander-“ 

“The whole five months he ruled” Hela adds, taking a sip from her glass.

“Hela” Loki says between gritted teeth, and then clears his throat, “It has been hard to adjust without him”

He makes a pause, a tad too dramatic, before he shakes his head and reaches for the handkerchief inside his front pocket, drying the barely there tears on the corner of his eyes. Bucky frowns slightly, and it takes a real effort to not look around to see if anyone was gullible enough to believe he was actually affected by his brother’s death. 

“For Thor” Loki finally says, raising his glass, “And for Cinders to prosper”

Before he can begin to eat, Loki leans towards him.

“Meet me in my studio after diner” He says, and it sounds like an order, “We shall discuss your reward then”

Bucky swallows tightly, but nods. He catches Jane staring at him, but she looks away when he sees her, and then there’s Darcy. There is something odd in the way she looks at him, and Bucky glares at her, before Darcy looks back at her plate he swears he sees her shake her head.

 

* * *

 

 

“What do you think Loki wants to talk to him about?” 

Darcy is walking Jane to her room. For some reason, she had been fidgety during dinner. After Loki had revealed that Thor Odinson had died, and she wants to ask if Darcy knew about it, and what had happened to him. But she was more worried about Bucky than anything else.

“Darcy”

But she isn’t paying attention to Jane. Suddenly, the halls feels a lot longer, Darcy is walking at a slow pace like she deliberately wants to take her time getting to Jane’s room. Jane reaches for her arm.

“Darcy, talk to me”

Darcy grabs her hand and turns to her so quickly they bump into eachother. Jane is about to protest but Darcy covers her mouth. She scowls at her, but doesn’t move her hand away.

“After nine everyone is suppose to be quiet” Darcy says in hushed tone, “Loki’s rules” 

Jane nods, and Darcy takes his hand off her mouth. 

“You called him Bucky” Darcy adds.

She nods, and then looks around at the empty halls, “We should talk about this in the room” she says. 

Darcy doesn’t move, instead just stares at Jane. Once again, that flash of… Something crosses her features. And Jane can’t put a finger on what exactly it is, like she did something wrong that can’t even tell Jane about.

Jane holds her hand, and takes it to her chest.

“You can tell me” She assures her barely above a whisper.

“I need you to go to sleep” Darcy says slowly, quietly, “I will tell you everything by the morning”

Jane feels a heavy weight on her chest again, and wants to ask further, but when Darcy looks at her pleadingly she simply nods. When they start walking to the room again, Jane sees one of the maids walk pass them and offer a polite nod to her, but a furtive glance at Darcy. She would have to wait for the morning to know what all of it is about.

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky was taken to Loki’s studio room by one of the maids an hour after they had finished having diner. The maid had told him that Loki would be there ‘in a bit’, but it had been about an hour now and he was starting to get impatient. It was as if they were trying to keep him in the house longer that he actually wanted to stay. He loosens the tie around his neck – he hadn’t even had time to change – and rolls up his sleeves, feeling too hot as the nerves made the blood run hot across his body. It happened when he felt out of his element, which he rarely was, and right now he felt as comfortable as a lamb in a lions den.

He paces around the empty room then, despite the maid telling him to stay put and not touch anything. There are many books in the shelves on every wall – a library Jane would probably enjoy – and a few picture frames. He looks at them one by one, recognising Loki and Hela in a few, alongside a blond man that must have been Thor Odinson. Hela had said he had passed suddenly, and he can’t help but wonder if Pierce had something to do with it. 

_Or Loki_. His mind supplies. There was something about Loki he couldn’t quiet swallow. Perhaps the air of superiority around him, or the sardonic grin that adorned his face and how it never reached his green eyes, cold and calculating.

Bucky tries ignoring the chills that run down his spine just thinking about leaving Jane with him, but he knew that she would be with Darcy, and she promised she would take care of Jane on her life. Darcy loved Jane, and he couldn’t deny that. He leans on the wooden table in the middle of the room then, and tries to figure the carving on it. It takes him a few seconds to realise that is a map of the New World. Just like Jane had described it to him.

_She could have been lying, but with those big bambi eyes…_

“Well she didn’t lie about this”

It looks like some kind of game too. Battleship, he thinks, and remembers playing it with Steve at some point of his childhood. He grabs one of the figurines on the table – the red ones, not the green ones – in the shape of an octopus, and when he feels the weight of it, he scratches it slightly with his thumbnail. 

“Solid gold” He chuckles, “Of course”

He turns around and puts it in his pocket. If he’s not taking the horse, he might as well get a trinket to pound somewhere later. Maybe once he reaches Roseburn, or if he decides to stay in Catalean after all. He sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair tiredly and wonders if his plans should change after all, if he stayed he would be close to Jane. But after what he told her, he isn’t sure she wants to have anything to do with him.

_You’re a nobody._

He’s also dangerous to be with. 

Bucky finds himself staring at single painting hung behind the desk at the very end of the room. as he move closer it seem to make less sense, but the more he stares at it he realises how beautiful it really is. A landscape at night, the stars and the moon. He leans it towards the small plaque under it.

_Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh._

“Do you like it?” 

He turns quickly, tensing when he sees Loki a few steps away from him.

“It’s a relic from the Old World” 

Bucky nods but keeps his eyes on him. The man walks towards the corner of the room, where there is a glass cabinet similar to the one he had in Arcadia. Loki reaches inside for a familiar looking bottle of bourbon and two tumblers.

“My father, Odin, spent almost a million credits on it” Loki fills the glasses and then leaves the bottle aside, “He told me that it was one of a kind” he chuckles, “truth is, I could afford hundreds more like it” 

He walks towards Bucky and offers him one glass, which he accepts but doesn’t drink from. 

“Go ahead, it’s not poisoned” Loki says jokingly.

_Ha_. Bucky thinks dryly.

“Thanks” Bucky says dryly, and takes the glass to his lips at the same time as Loki, but doesn’t drown the glass like he does. 

Loki continues to walk around the room, around him really, and Bucky follows him with his eyes. Loki stands infront of the painting and Bucky stares at it again. There is the wooden desk separating them so he doesn’t worry much about Loki when the man scans him with dagger eyes.

“Jane doesn’t seem too happy about having to part ways with her _saviour_ ” 

Bucky ignores the way he says it, like he finds the fact hard to swallow.

“I’m glad you brought her” Loki continues, “Despite her clearly getting… Attached” 

“Attached” Bucky repeats, and this time he has to take a swing from the drink in his hand to avoid saying something he would regret.

The man chuckles humourlessly, “Women are like that” he waves a hand, and he pulls out his chair, “Specially her type”

“What type is that?” Bucky asks, genuinely interesting in how Loki had painted Jane after his first impression of her. 

Loki looks at him for a few seconds, and then a smile splits her face again. Bucky wishes he could punch every single white teeth he flashes at him.

“Jane grew up sheltered” Loki shrugs, “Us upper class people do” 

Bucky looks at the half empty glass in his hands, suddenly the alcohol didn’t appeal to him as much as breaking Loki’s jaw with his fist. He keeps his gaze – glare – on Loki as he leaves the glass infront of him, but miscalculates and it’s content spills on the table. 

“What the-“

Loki’s eye widen in horror and he stands from his chair, frantically picking the papers. 

“Look what you’ve done!” He exclaims, “You brute!" 

Bucky suppresses a smile, and apologises before he pretends to help. Loki mutters something about them being important and Bucky cocks and eyebrow catching a few glimpses of the pages. One of the pages fall and he leans in to pick it up. There is drawing on the page, blueprints for some kind of machine. It isn’t the fact that he had never seen something like it before – he could recognise different engines but no this – but how old and yellowed the page is, and the fact that it is signed at the bottom by Howard Stark. 

Howard Stark was an Old World scientist, and the creator of the bomb Jericho. Known as the biggest traitor in history after he sold it across the sea, and they ended up dropping it in place called Manhattan. Little is known about him other than the fact, everything else had been erased from every book. With the exception apparently of the one falling apart in Loki’s hand at the moment.

Bucky glances at the man, still trying to clean his mess, and folds the paper before he slyly puts it in his pocket.

“I apologise for-“ 

“Forget it” Loki grits out, trying to keep his composure.

Bucky clears his throat, “I should go” he says, “I’ll be going back to Catalean tomorrow” 

Loki cocks an eyebrow, “What about your reward?” 

“I don’t need a horse”

Bucky sees Loki grits his jaw, and turns around to allow himself to smirk proudly. He is halfway through the study room when something comes to mind. He turns on his heels. 

“Could I ask for anything?” He asks.

Loki shrugs, “Of course”

“I want that painting”

The other man looks taken aback, “You want-“

“The Starry Night” Bucky offers a sardonic little smile, “You did say you could afford _hundreds_ like it, after all” 

Loki scoffs, “Of course I can” he says, and there is a hint of annoyance in his tone, “it’s all yours” he offers a strained smile.

Bucky then smiles and walks towards the wall behind Loki, taking the framed painting off the wall. Loki’s mouth open and closes but he doesn’t say anything as Bucky walks away.

“Asshole” He mutters as he makes his way back to the guest room.


	20. They Come At Night

Jane twists and turns in the bed uncomfortably, blowing a strand of hair from her forehead already covered in a shin layer of sweat. The air, both inside and outside of the room were way too warm for her liking, and the night gown she was wearing was sticking to her back uncomfortably.

She kicks off the thick blanket covering her and pulls from the collar of the camisole, feeling as if it was trying to choke her. With a resigned sigh she gives up on trying to sleep, knowing that the thick covers and hot air weren't the reason she couldn't. In one of the rooms somewhere in that house, Bucky was laying on his bed already asleep and in the morning, he would be gone forever. No apologies, goodbyes or final words being said between them. Jane stares at the ceiling for a few seconds before she reaches for one of the pillows above her head and hides her face under it screaming as loud as she can, on top of her lungs and until her throat feels sore.

In moments like this, she often – always – spoke to Darcy. But Darcy had told her that she had to stay in her room since it was one of Loki's rules, as if she didn't know Jane well enough to know that she would try to sneak out to find her. No one would stop her anyways.

Despite Loki being the High Commander and that being his house, Jane noticed that there weren't many maids or guards walking around the hallways. Apart from Loki himself, his sister Hela, and the two women who served them dinner there wasn't anyone else living in the house. Perhaps Darcy wasn't being serious, but then the tone of her voice... It sounded like a warning to Jane, a strange strained tone that she hadn't heard from Darcy before. Jane had the feeling that Darcy didn't trust or liked Loki as much as she had pretended to, the way she addressed him more cold than respectful and the entire diner conversation where she hadn't left neither Jane or Bucky talk about what had happened, despite Jane telling her everything minutes before. She didn’t even tell them his name wasn’t Jack, but she had asked Jane about it afterwards.

A feeling of unease invades Jane all of sudden. No longer wanting to go to Darcy because she wanted to talk, but because Darcy seemed _afraid_.

Without wanting to make much noise, in case there _was_ someone on the other side of the door, she stands from the bed and walks towards the closet where Darcy had left the satchel she had been carrying, locking herself in the bathroom afterwards. Jane kneels on the tiles and opens the satchel, scattering the contents on the cold bathroom floor. The gold dagger falls with a metallic sound that makes her cringe and still for a few seconds, she leaves it aside alongside a box of bullets, and when she finds the flashlight she uses it to illuminate the room. Bucky's gun is also there – another wave of relief rushes through her body – and then she finds the wrinkled letter Darcy had sent her. Jane reads it again and again, noticing that just like during diner, Darcy had lied in the letter. With the exception of the last words.

"Winter is coming" Jane whispers, folding the letter again, "Darcy, what is going on?" 

Jane bites her bottom lip clutching the flashlight and the piece of paper tightly against her chest.

"You are being paranoid, Jane" she tells herself, and it comes out a breathless whisper, "You are tired and jumping to con-"

Her eyes fall on the dagger then. The room is dark, but the light from the flashlight reflects briefly on the handle, the shinny gold showing Jane something she hadn't notice before. She reaches for it and illuminates it completely. In the very tip of the handle, of the dagger that belonged to Arnim Zola once, carved in gold is the same strange symbol Loki had been wearing in his chest just that night, the same one the Shadow Men wore on their sleeves.

A head with many tails that Jane had seen several times around Loki's house but didn't pay attention to before.

 

 

_“Make a single line!” The fist man yells._

_Jane, barely awake and still confused about what was happening, reaches for Darcy’s hand. She feels her squeeze it softly before she lets it go, and Jane understands they must do as they are being told. The grey robes she was wearing were similar to the ones the rest of the people there was wearing, it was the staff’s uniform and Jane recognises each and every single one of them. They make a single line as they are being escorted outside of the house by men in uniform. Jane tries to look at their faces, but she is nudged in her shoulder._

_“Don’t look at them, miss” The person behind her whispers._

_Jane blinks several times and looks over her shoulder, Letitia offers her a small nod and Jane can see she is shaking like a leaf. She looks at her feet realising she is shaking too, and she clutches her hands tightly on each side of her body until her nails digging into the skin of her palms, and when it stings and she doesn’t wake up, she feels her eyesight blur with tears. When they finally fall, as they all starts walking again, the cold wind dry them almost immediately._

_“Walk faster!” A second man yells, “Pick up the fucking pace!”_

_They make them stop at the plaza, where then the masked men make them kneel infront of the Galileo Galilei in the middle of it, its arms spread wide while its eyes looked up to the sky. Jane can see her father’s driver, George, struggling to do so because of his old age. And when one of the soldiers see him, he pushes him down, Jane can hear someone yell to leave him alone, and that’s when she realises there is a crowd in the plaza. People from the citadel that had awoken by the scandal. The crowd is trying to stop them, and soon a fight breaks out, people trying to push pass the soldiers making a barricade between._

Stop _. Jane wants to yell._ They will hurt you.

_Screams of ‘what is going on’ and ‘why were they doing that’ fill her ears, and when a single shot is heard everyone goes quiet. Letitia grips Jane’s wrist tightly, Jane looks at her first but she is looking ahead, and then she sees a few feet away from them George’s body falling to the ground. The snow tinted red with blood seconds later._

_“Oh, god,” Letitia whimpers, talking to herself, “Why is this happening?”_

_Jane looks for Darcy frantically, unable to ignore the screaming of the crowd and the smell of smoke. When she looks behind her, she sees fire consuming her house, by pure instinct she tries to stand, but is pushed to her knees again, before someone strikes her face. The metallic taste of blood fills her mouth and her cheek starts throbbing._

_“Stay down!” The man says._

_Jane feels the anger take over her, and she glares at him defiantly. She wants to see his face, to memorise it and then maybe… But she realises she wouldn’t be able to see him anyways. They were all wearing black masks that only let her see their eyes and mouth._

_The man raises his arm again._

_“Hey, hey, hey, at ease soldier!” She hears another one say._

_Jane stays frozen in place her heart pounding violently against her chest and a cold shiver running down her spine. These men, who had woken her entire colony, barged into her home and dragged everyone outside, were soldiers._

_“The young ones are precious cargo” The man continues, Jane looks at her feet, “Pierce wants them”_

_“What a joy to be king of the hill” The other one replies, he then reaches for the back of her neck, “Look at how pretty this one is”_

_“Hail Hydra, bitch” The other chuckles._

_The two men chuckled, and one of them strokes her cheek before they walk away. She then looks around and notices the way they stood in strategic places, the way they held their guns and the uniforms. All black from head to toe with the exception of a red crest on their shoulders._

_A head with many tails._

_“Oh, dear lord!” someone shrieks, “It’s the High Commander!”_

_Jane looks up in time to see her father being dragged by two soldiers._

_Erik Selvig’s face is covered in blood, someone had beat him up before getting him out of the house, Jane wants to scream his name, for him to look at her so she could run to him and be able to at least hold him. But then she sees Julia right behind him, and like she knows what she is thinking, she shakes her head softly, pleadingly, and Jane cries harder but doesn’t move at all. As if they were nothing, with no speech or explanation of their actions, the masked soldiers throw a rope around Erik’s head and then do the same with Julia. She stares with wide, glassy eyes as they throw the ropes across the statue’s open wide arms, and they start to pull._

_“Their necks won’t snap” A man says, “Fuck’s sake, just shoot them”_

_Jane looks at Julia, and she asks her to look away. She shakes her head and is about to stand when one of the soldiers puts his gun on her father’s temple and pulls the trigger._

_Bang._

_It’s deafening. The first time Jane hears a gun go off._

_And just like that, his life is gone._

_Jane looks at the snow underneath her then, as they shoot Julia she hopes Darcy didn’t get to see like she did. And while she hears the screaming and pleading of the crowd as the soldiers massacre the ones trying to fight them, and the blood pouring from George’s head was flowing like a river infront of her._  

 

 

Jane feels the bile rise to her throat.

The feeling of betrayal stabs her in her chest. Loki wasn't Darcy's saviour, or hers. Jane covers a sharp gasp of air with her hand, the flashlight falling to the tile and cracking before it goes off, and then a sob leaves her throat, muffled by her hand. Jane stands with shaky legs from the bathroom floor, gripping the dagger tightly. She shakes her head pacing back and forward.

Loki and Pierce.

_Hydra_. 

Odin and her father were friends. She was suppose to marry Thor. Both had died months apart and Loki had been left with everything, Glassmere being attacked during the same period of time while other colonies are being sacked and silently invaded by men commanded by Alexander Pierce. The Shadow Men. 

But how did Darcy fit into all of it? Or her? How did she end up with Loki? But instead of trying to answer those questions, Jane's mind travels to someone else. 

_Bucky._

Jane wipes the tears from her cheeks, and gripping the dagger tightly against her chest she takes a deep breath and walks towards the door at a hurried pace. But when she opens the door, she bumps into a bulk of a man, and when she looks up she finds a sly smirk and green eyes looking back at her.

"Loki"

 

* * *

 

 

Despite feeling tired, he can’t fall asleep. Not because of the thousand thoughts running through his mind, the bitter taste of regret behind his tongue or the warmness of alcohol in the pit of his stomach. There is an uneasy feeling about the room he was in. Maybe it was too quiet, the walls felt too close to eachother and the fact that he was alert didn’t help either. 

He twists and turns on the bed for what feel hours, but whenever he catches a glimpse from the clock on the nightstand, barely two or three minutes pass. Keeping his eyes shut, he begins counting backwards from a thousand, and when that doesn’t work he tries clearing his head, trying to convince his brain that he is already asleep. It isn’t until a few minutes later that he begins to feel himself drift, but that’s when the door opens slightly, whoever is on the other side stopping when it creaks, before sliding inside the room. The gun. His mind supplies, but then he remembers he left it in Jane’s satchel and curses mentally.

“I can tell you are awake”

The mattress sinks with the weight of the woman, and when she reaches for him he grips her wrist and sits in one swift motion. Hela chuckles amused and wrenches herself from his grip at the same time he turns the lamp on the nightstand.

“What are you doing here?” He hisses.

Hela smirks widely and glances at his nude chest, “Loki said you had already being paid” 

He looks at the painting left next to the door.

“That can’t be all you want” She reaches for him, brushing a strand of hair off his face, “My, my… How handsome you are up close” 

His jaw grits his teeth. The woman smiles wickedly, dragging her nails across his abdomen before she flips her hair long black hair across her shoulder. He inhales sharply, not taking his eyes from her face. He isn’t sure if this is some king of test, if there was a second intention behind it. Hela pouts and he doesn’t realise she is pushing him softly back to the mattress at the same time she leans in, until his head hit the pillow and he feels Hela’s weight on his stomach as she straddles him.

“So strong” She says softly, hands moving up and down his arms. 

As she touches him, he feels his muscles tense. Hela leans in to leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Her red tinted lips have a familiar _smell_ , and he frowns slightly because he can’t quite put his finger on it. 

“You deserve a real reward” She smiles, her lips close to the shell of his ear, “And I know you didn’t take anything Loki was offering” 

“I took-“ 

“So maybe you can take what _I_ am offering”

The smell becomes overwhelming, and he blinks several times trying to focus on it, because it seems familiar. Hela reaches for something behind her. He knows that smell, he remembers it.

Hela smiles wickedly, “Hail Hydra” 

_Honeysuckle_. Jane called it. 

He grips Hela’s wrist, and in one movement flips them over, pinning her against the matters. The woman struggles under his weight, and he tightens his grip on her left wrist, while he reaches for her other one and pins both over her head. 

“Someone likes it rough” She chuckles.

Bucky narrows his eyes at her and reaches for her hand. She is holding a tube like device with a needle in one end and a button in the other. 

“What is this?”

Hela narrows her eyes, “Get off me” she grits out. 

“ _Answer me_ ” Bucky growls, “What. Is. This.” 

The woman purses her lips, “It’ll just knock you out for a few hours” she answers, “For some reason Loki wanted you two alive"

He tenses visibly and Hela’s face is split by a wide grin, he clenches his jaw and feeling the anger recoil his insides. 

“I guess you won’t mind if I use it on you then”

Hela lifts her chin, “Do as you please”

He sticks the needle into her neck and presses the button on the other end of the injector. It makes a clicking sound and a blue light lights up, and Hela inhales sharply under him. Almost immediately she relaxes and he lets her go, standing from the bed.

“You really didn’t know” She tries to stand but falls on the bed again. 

Her head starts bobbing, as if she is dizzy, and she holds onto the bedpost trying to focus her eyes on him. Bucky looks away and starts searching for his clothes, dressing as fast as he can. He thinks about Jane, if Hela or Loki had tried to attack her too, he needed to go to her.

“Your little princess must be…” Hela slurs, before she chuckles suddenly, “They are looking for you”

He tenses, and turns to her.

“Who?”

She chuckles, “Hydra has… Has many heads, Soldier”

Bucky tenses, feeling a chill run down his spine at the mention of his Legionary name. They knew who he was. Darcy lied, he realises, about Cinders being a safe place for Jane. Or maybe she knew exactly what she was doing by getting him and Jane there. Before he leaves, he reaches for the injector and takes it with him, throwing one last glance at Hela not being able to ignore the way her lips formed a disturbing smile.

He closes the door behind him and turns left, bumping into a dark shape. He grabs it by the neck, pinning the body against the nearest wall before he rips off the hood covering most of the face. There is nothing but heavy panting for a few seconds, until his eyes get used to the dark and he recognises Darcy’s feature.

“It- It’s me” She says.

He circles her throat, “S'That suppose to make me feel better?” He sneers, “What are you doing here?”

Darcy narrows her eyes, “I came for you” she says, “We need to get Jane out of this place“ 

“You mean this place _you_ brought her to?” Bucky looses his grip but doesn’t let go. 

She shuts her eyes, “I had to, Loki would have gotten to her himself” 

Bucky licks his lips, “He is working with Pierce, they- they call themselves-‘

“Hydra” Darcy nods frantically, “I know”

He glances at the end of the hall, and Darcy takes that chance to try to push him off, reaching for something inside her pocket. He overpowers her, taking the knife from her and gripping her wrist. He leaves the blade against her jugular. 

“Why are you with them?” Darcy looks taken aback, “They took your home, they killed your _mother_ -“

“I’m not!” She exclaims, “I’m working _against_ them”

Bucky narrows his eyes, “What do you mean?” 

Darcy sighs heavily, “Listen, we have no time to-“ 

“What do you mean, Darcy?” And the blade sinks almost breaking the skin.

“This is bigger than just us” She says, “This people- this Hydra organisation had been growing like cancer as the New World developed, and now they are ready to put their plan in motion” 

“You talk about it as if- as if it’s some king of huge conspiracy?”

Darcy nods, “They are responsible for the Old World dying” she continues, and she sounds so sure of all of it as crazy as it sound to him, “They want to cross the ocean and finish what they st-“

“Where do you or Glassmere fit into all of this? Or Jane?”

Darcy closes her eyes, taking a shaky breath in.

“Erik was one of the heads of Hydra” 

He freezes at the mention of Jane’s father and Darcy swallows tightly. 

“Like his mother, and her father before him,” She swallows tightly, “For fifty years the Selvigs ruled Glassmere, while the Pierce dynasty kept Arcadia” He looses his grip on her wrists, “They needed to have Cinders on board so they had to find a way” 

Bucky takes a breath in, “That’s why Jane had to marry Thor”

“Yes” Darcy stares at him, “But Erik backed down on it- on everything as soon as he found out what Hydra was really about” She takes a shaky breath in, “By then Pierce already had gotten Loki and Hela to join him” 

He loosens his grip. 

“You said you were working _against_ them” Bucky takes a deep breath in, “How?”

“To put their plan in motion Hydra needs something from Maraud, I stole information from Loki and I will deliver it in exchange of protection” she says, “For me and Jane” 

Finally, he lets her go. She takes the knife from him as he gives a few steps back trying to catch his breath. Despite all the information, all he thought was how to get Jane out of that place.

“You can leave” Darcy tells him, “There is an abandoned barn behind the house, one of the cars is yours” 

He glares at her.

“And- and they are both packed with supplies to-“

“No” Bucky cuts her off, “I’m not leaving without Jane”

She stares and after a few seconds nods, "Then we need to go for her now"

They are halfway through the hall when Darcy stops him, making him look at her.

“We can't tell her about Erik" Darcy says, "It will tarnish the memory of her father, it would destroy her"

Bucky understands what she means, but he shakes his head, "If everything she has been through hasn’t break her, nothing will" he says, "she deserves the truth, you hear me?"

Darcy’s bottom lip trembles, and after a few seconds she nods. And then leads the way.


	21. Darcy Ex Machina

Jane hides the dagger behind her back, hoping that he hadn't seen it with the darkness that was surrounding them. She sees Loki's grin widen and he gives a few steps towards her reaching for the light switch, the sudden brightness blinds her briefly as her eyes get used to the light and she gives a few steps back when she notices how close to her he is, fingers gripping tightly the dagger.

"Miss Selvig" Loki starts, "Were you going somewhere?" 

She glances at the door behind him and then at him, "I was going to look for some water" she answers, being thankful that her voice doesn’t break, "The room felt too warm" 

Loki raises an eyebrow, but still offers her a smile, "I imagined you would be used to the cold climate from you birth place"

Jane nods, "Indeed" 

The man glances around the room as if he is looking for something – more like someone – and then his gaze falls on Jane again. A chill runs down her spine, and she feels the sweat on her back and nape it's ice cold. He narrows her eyes as if he suspects something, and Jane curses mentally for being so transparent, for the blush on her cheeks and the thin layer of sweat covering her. 

She manages to clear her throat, "Is there any reason why you are here so late?"

Loki wrinkles his nose, as if he didn't like the tone she used.

"Sir" Jane adds for what is worth.

Loki flicks his tongue against his teeth, "I was leaving my library when I heard you pacing" he starts, "I was wondering why would you be up so late after how tired you looked”

Jane looks at her feet, "I apologise"

He waves a hand, "I figured we should have a conversation sooner rather than later anyways"

Jane frowns, lifting her gaze. Loki starts pacing around the room calmly, not in any way predatory but it still makes Jane uncomfortable, like she is being observed despite Loki keeping his gaze down.

"I was having a _pleasant_ exchange with your... Companion" 

Jane tenses but manages to recover quickly, "That so" 

Loki hums.

"I was explaining him about your situation" Jane frowns, "You were promised for marriage to my brother Thor, were you not?" He asks turning to her. 

"Y- yes" Jane stammers, not understanding where he was going. 

"But since he's dead now, it falls on me to take care of you" Loki says, the cold smile back on his face.

Jane feels him invade her personal space and she starts moving away from him slowly.

"I don't expect anything from-" 

"You will be silent when I speak" The man says, his tone so sharp that makes Jane flinch, "Understood?" 

She can picture clearly how her knuckles turn white when she tightens her grip around the handle of the dagger hidden behind her back. There is something other than the flash of anger in Loki's green eyes, as he walks towards her until he is pinning her against the bed post. Jane feels her heart pounding violently against her ribcage.

"I said... Understood?"

The alcohol in his breath make her feel nauseous, though it might be the nerves, but she manages to nod. 

"We should continue this conversation" Jane says, and it comes out as a shaky whisper, "In the morn-""

Jane isn't able to finish the sentence as Loki's hand circles her neck, her head banging against the wooden bed post, "You don't tell me what to do" he sneers.

She shakes violently, no longer pretending that she isn't scared. 

"You are- you’re hurting m- me"

Loki then says, and chuckles darkly, “Darling, there won’t be any conversation in the morning”

Jane frowns, is like he’s having a whole different conversation. 

“Did he really think I would want to keep you around?” He laughs, and then goes serious again, “Pierce told me to do with you as I pleased, keep you around like he did"

Her heart stops at the mention of Pierce. And she looks at Loki with wide eyes. 

“But I wouldn’t want to touch you knowing that brute already has”

Jane can feel the tears start falling from her eyes, "Ple- please" 

"Oh, come on" Loki chuckles darkly, “You can beg better than that”

"No! Let- let me go!" She starts squirming from his grip, kicking his groin, Loki groans giving a step back, "Help! Darcy! Darcy!" 

Loki grips her throat again and pins her against the bed post, "Hydra has been planning this for decades! Erik Selvig almost destroyed us!” smacks her face hard, making her go quiet.

Jane feels her left cheek burn, and there is a metallic taste in her mouth, blood starting to pour out of her split lip. She closes her eyes at the mention of her father. It’s like Loki knew him. Loki chuckles lowly loosing the grip from her throat and Jane’s knees fail under her weight and she falls on the floor. The dagger falls unnoticed as Jane starts coughing and gasping for air.

"Scream all you want" He chuckles lowly, "No one can hear you!" He shouts, proving his point.

Jane sobs loudly, feeling weak, powerless and alone, and knowing that the halls were empty and maybe the rest of the house too. Loki smirks when he notices she is scared, grabs her by the back of her neck to pull her to her feet again. Jane steps on the dagger, and she takes a few breath as she tries to slide it closer to her.  _Just a little bit closer_.

"Did Pierce know- know who I was?" She asks, "When I was taken to Aida"

He scans her face, "Not your face" Jane scowls, "Your father always made sure to hide you from his sight"

Loki's hands are cold and shaky, and she can see his green eyes are wide, "He told me I needed to do what’s necessary, that I needed to take care of Thor like he took care of Erik” 

“You killed your own brother” Jane’s bottom lip trembles, “And your father too” 

He narrows his eyes at her but doesn’t correct her.

“You should have seen his face when I asked him what had he done with Erik's daughter” Jane takes a few gasps of breath

Loki sighs heavily.

“He sent Russo to kill you but of course it didn’t work, boy’s too messed up” He clicks his tongue, “And fucking ugly, too”

Her mind travels to that day, and she remembers Bucky saying Russo would never try to kill someone just because. He had orders, Zola’s orders.

“I decided to take care of it myself” 

Jane’s throat is sore and his eyes are stinging with tears.

“You know,” He says, “She didn’t tell me about you for weeks”

Loki leans in and she can see his pupils are blown, it reminds Jane of Russo’s look of insanity. Before he can say anything else, she knees him in the groin with force and pushes him away when he groans. With one swift movement she picks up the dagger and unsheats it, but Loki recovers quickly and he pounces over her reaching for it, circling her wrist tightly. Jane is pinned against the mattress, but she doesn’t let go of the dagger, scratching Loki’s face with her other hand, kicking as hard as she can to try to push him off her. Loki groans as her nails dig into his face so deep he starts to bleed, and pins both of her hands over her head with one of his hands while the other one tightens around her neck. 

Loki growls, “You fucking bitch!”

“Fuck. You” Jane grits out.

Loki’s eye widen in anger and he grips her wrist so tight that Jane is unable to keep them close any longer. She lets go of the dagger finally, but thankfully Loki’s hand looses the grip on her throat, Jane looks at him, not ready to beg for her life but knowing that she would never be able to win a fight for it. He’s going to kill her. All movement stops all of sudden, the only sound heard for a few seconds is her heavy breathing, Loki didn’t even break a sweat, but his face is scratched and covered in blood.

And then the air is filled by Loki’s spine chilling laugh.

“It was you who killed Zola?" 

She’s still unable to breath properly with his knee on top of her chest. He rolls his eyes and moves the dagger infront of her face, Jane doesn’t look at it, instead glaring at him, but then he grips her jaw forcing her to look at the handle of the dagger.

“No” he says, eyes flickering with realisation, “It was him” his smirk widens, “Your _Bucky_ ” He spits the name as if it was poison in his mouth. 

Jane’s eye go wide. Loki knew. He knew every lie they told, he knew who he was and where he came from the moment they step foot in The Cinders, maybe even before the Shadow Men were indeed following them. He had used Darcy and she had unknowingly brought them to the lions den. 

“Oh, poor Jane” Loki says, the dagger almost sinking into her left cheek, “Your home gone, daddy’s gone, you saviour is gone…” a sob escaped Jane and she shuts her eyes tightly, “It’s a shame I have to ruin such a pretty face” 

As the blade of the dagger sinks she bites down a scream. Her tears stinging her eyes, and she is almost as tired of crying as she is of struggling. Her throat burns, her muscles are sore, and her nails dig into her palms as she tries to wake up from the nightmare she feels trapped in. And then the door is being slammed open, and Loki turns with a fulminating glare directed at the intruders.

“Get the fuck off her!”

Loki is being pushed of off her when she opens her eyes, and then Darcy enters her line of sight before pulling her up from the bed to hug her tightly. Jane takes a few breaths in before she returns the embrace, gripping her shoulders for her not to let go just yet, and when she looks behind her she sees Bucky grabbing Loki by the neck and pinning him against the floor, diving his fist into his skull. Jane looks away, pulling herself away from Darcy’s arms to look at her in the face.

“You tried to warn me” Jane says, remembering Darcy telling her to wait until the morning for her.

Darcy nods looking at her cheek, and her eyes go glassy.

"He- he was" Jane swallows tightly.

“It’s a thin cut, but it's bleeding a lot” She reaches inside her pocket and pulls out a handkerchief pressing it softly against the cut. 

“Are you alright?” 

Both women turn to Bucky, who is panting heavily while his eyes are glued to Jane. Jane sighs relieved at the sight of him. Darcy stands from the bed, walking towards Loki and kicking him despite him being already unconscious. Jane stands from the bed as Bucky walks towards her, he is unsure to touch her for a second but it passes rapidly and he pulls her in for a hug. Jane fists his shirt pulling him closer, taking a shaky breath in. 

“I’m sorry” Bucky whispers against her hair, “Jane, I’m so sorry” 

Jane pulls back and takes a look at him, as if looking for any sign he was hurt or if he was real.

“I didn’t mean any of it” He continues, “At the dock, what I-“

“It was my fault” Darcy says behind them, “I didn’t think he cared but… I was wrong”

Jane doesn’t care. All she cares about is that they are all together.

“Put this on” Darcy says, giving Jane a par of jeans and a shirt. 

Only then she realises both Bucky and Darcy are wearing different clothes. Jane doesn’t ask anymore questions, and Bucky turns his back on her when she glances at him, before she takes off her pajamas and starts dressing as fast as she can. She sees Bucky reach for the dagger, and Darcy steps out of the bathroom with Jane’s satchel in one hand and the gun in the other. 

“Where did you get this?” Darcy asks, holding the gun up.

Bucky takes it from her hands, “It’s mine” he says, “Do you really have a plan?”

Darcy nods. Bucky holds Jane’s hand tightly before they leave the room.

 

* * *

They are panting heavily when they finally stop running.

Jane and Darcy are trying to catch their breath, while Bucky looks around for any sign of someone following them. They encountered two men patrolling before they reached… wherever the hell they are but the hadn’t been caught. Bucky looks around him, they are in the barn house Darcy mentioned, it looks like it had been abandoned for a while now but there are two vehicles that look clean. He glances at Darcy, who is looking outside. There is no movement, she had told them that Loki didn’t like having strangers in the house so the staff – the very few people there was – slept in the smaller cottage about two hundred feet away from them blocking their sight of the mansion. 

Darcy walks towards one of the cars, and kneels down, patting under it for something. Seconds later she stands up and dusts off her jeans, a key in her hands. She begins to explain that both cars had been wired and were untraceable now, they had something called Stealth mode. Once they left they were not going to be followed. There is food for weeks long travel, and enough for the three of them if they took both cars, and a purifier to make salt water or dirty water clean and drinkable. Bucky sees her open a medical kit – packed with bandages, gloves, vials of medicine, syringes and what look like surgical supplies – and reach for gauze, opening a bottle and wetting it with it.

“I have to go back” Darcy says suddenly, and walks towards Jane with the gauze in her hands.

“What?” Jane scowls, “No way, you-“ Darcy puts the gauze on Jane’s cheek and she winces. 

“I gotta get something from the studio room” 

Jane looks at him over her shoulder, and then turns again to the other woman. Darcy tells her to hold it up to her cheek for a few minutes and then goes back to the car and closes the kit, coming back with a bag. 

“Darcy we are not-”

“Jane” Darcy looks at her, “There are things going on that I’m part of” she walks towards her, “If I don’t do this…”

“Is this about Hydra?” Jane asks, “My father was working for them… Right?” 

He swallows, and Darcy glances at him before she looks back at Jane and nods, an apologetic look in her eyes. Darcy tells Jane that there is something for her in the glove compartment and that the person who told her about Hydra gave it to her, everything she needed to know was there, and if she had any questions she would answer them. 

“I can leave without-“ 

“I’ll go with you”

Darcy and Jane turn to Bucky.

“The most dangerous place right now is inside that house” Bucky cuts her off, “If you stay here and wait-“ 

“We will be right back” Darcy puts her hands on Jane’s shoulders.

Jane’s eyes are glassy and her bottom lip trembles. She circles Darcy’s wrist before pulling her in for a tight hug. Darcy whispers an I love you and kisses the top of her head reaching for a bag on the car. She takes a deep breath in turning to Bucky afterwards. 

“Let’s go”

Bucky walks up to Jane and puts the gun in her hands. She hesitates in taking it but ultimately does so and he pulls her in to kiss her forehead. 

“I’ll be right back” He promises.

 

* * *

  

When they reach the study room, Darcy pulls out a device from the bag on her shoulder and starts walking around the room. Bucky guards the door, feeling more tense as he counts mentally how long until the sun goes out. He wishes he had bought the gun just in case, but Darcy assured him the house would be empty. He cracks his knuckles a few times and rubs his hands together impatiently. Darcy searches around the room, moving chairs and throwing books from the shelves not caring if she leaves a mess. 

“How long did you know about Jane coming?” 

Darcy glances at him but continues her task, “Since you left Glassmere”

He looks at her, waiting for her to elaborate.

“I found an old radio in the maid’s cottage”

Darcy tells him that she communicated with the people left in Glassmere by radio, and that Letitia had answered one. After that sent coded messages for weeks back and forward, then she received one from Catalean which Jane had sent. She stays quiet, and Bucky wants to ask further, but then he sees the wall behind the desk has a new portrait hung.

“What exactly are you looking for?”

Darcy sighs and ignores him.

Bucky glances outside before he walks towards the desk, and removes the frame.

“Something like this?” 

It’s small, and doesn’t look like it could hold too many things inside. Whatever Darcy needed, had to be there. If she could open the safe to begin with. Darcy turns to him and sees it. 

“Son of a...”

She pushes pass him and presses a few buttons in the device in her hands, it starts clicking like a timer and when she moves it closer to the safe, it sticks to it like a magnet. A kind of countdown begins and then it stops showing a series of numbers before the safe pops open. Darcy reaches inside and starts rummaging its content, when she doesn’t seem to find what she’s looking for, she starts throwing out everything. There is a few papers that look important, a watch and a gun too, similar to the one Bucky carries. Darcy makes a noise and pulls out something. It’s small and shinny, a necklace with a gold chain.

He purses his lips, “Is that what we came here for?” He asks, “ _Jewellery_ ”

“I told Loki to keep it here, near his computers” Darcy says. 

Bucky licks his lips and looks at the pendant again. Darcy twists it in her hands carefully, and the pendant opens.

“A chip?” Bucky asks, frowning at the small square in her palm.

“It copied all the information from Loki’s computer dive once he left it next to it, it’s our tickets to Maraud” Darcy says, Bucky stares at it before Darcy puts it back inside the pendant, she puts it in her pocket and then looks at him, “Can you hear that?”

Bucky lifts his gaze, “Hear what?“

An alarm.

Their gazes meet, Darcy's eyes are widen in panic. 

"Jane"

They both run out of the room. The lights are still off but outside there was a lot of movement, he couldn't see them but he could hear the heavy steps from the Shadow Men as they all were alerted. The alarm is deafening as they approach the back door of the house. She wasn't counting on the house having an alarm like that and he didn't know what set it off, but he could tell she was anxious as she pulled him in a different direction when they hear voices from the one they were going to.

“They must be in the house!”

Darcy freezes at the sound of Loki’s voice. And Bucky grabs her arm pulling her towards him.

“And where the fuck is Hela!?”

He hears steps moving towards them and he leans against the wall. Darcy is panting heavily, not only from running but because she’s terrified. 

“Not according to plan?” He asks quietly. 

Darcy swallows tightly, “I should have killed him” she says, “I had the chance and-“

He shakes his head, “You wouldn’t have been able to”

Three men pass by them running, Shadow Men, and Bucky stares in shock at the rifles they were holding. Darcy nudges his shoulder. 

"The kitchen has a door for the staff, if we go out there we would have to round the house to find the parking lots"

It comes out in an overflow of words but Bucky understands well, and he nods at Darcy before she starts running to the where the kitchen was. Jane must be waiting in the car for them, and maybe she had panicked too when the alarm went off. Outside he could hear the men yelling to look for intruders, and Bucky becomes anxious too, and he realises they were not going to be able to leave without bumping into at least one of the guards. They were swarming the house, and they must also be surveilling outside. 

Darcy pulls from his arm, and they finally reach the kitchen. Darcy signs relieved as she reaches for the door.

A gun cocks.

“Don’t move”

Someone turns the kitchen lights on. 

“Hands up”

Bucky glances at Darcy as he rises his hand, and Darcy nods tightly before she does too. His heart is beating a hundred miles an hour and he feels not only anger but impotence. They were so close. The man starts walking towards them at a cautious pace, and Bucky looks at the rifle in his hands, then at the door behind them. _So close_. The Shadow Man shouts at the other ‘soldiers’, and then orders them to put their hands on the nearest wall. Darcy looks at him with pleading eyes, and he feels the adrenaline rush through his body as he waits for the man to be at arms reach. He grits his jaw and counts up to four before he turns around, reaching for the barrel of the rifle and pushing it upwards.

Darcy shirks as the gun goes off, leaving holes in the ceiling, at the same time he smashed an elbow into the side of the man’s skull, the soft spot high on the temple. He falls heavy like a stone a second later and Bucky kicks the rifle away. He winces when he feels a soreness in his hand and when he looks at it, he sees the flesh in his hand is burned.

“The barrel was hot” 

When he turns he finds Darcy gripping the kitchen counter. His eyes glance down at her abdomen, where she is pressing her right hand and blood is pouring out. His eyes go wide and he moves towards her.

“I should have moved” She chuckles, putting a hand on his shoulder for stability.

“The shots came from the kitchen!”

Bucky looks at the entrance.

“Let’s go" 

He throws Darcy’s left arm around his neck and lifts her from the floor, placing one arm around the bend in her knees and the other behind her back. Darcy grips his shirt, wincing at the movement, but he carries her with little effort outside. They make it to the cottage a few meter far from the mansion, and he can see the Shadow Men getting the staff out of the house in a single line. Darcy is breathing harshly against his neck and he walks behind the house, finally having the barn in sight. 

“Put me- Put me down” Darcy says breathlessly.

Bucky puts her down slowly, and Darcy grips her side wincing. He kneels next to her, glancing at the line of people walking away with two men, while the rest entered the house. He licks his lips and reaches for Darcy’s hand. 

“Let me see” 

Darcy’s breath hitches as she starts moving her hand away. Bucky grimaces at the blood pouring out, and he looks at Darcy before he leans in to inspect it closer.

The bullet didn’t go through.

“It’s still inside” Darcy says, and he lifts his gaze towards her, “It’s a Whistle bullet”

Bucky frowns, not knowing what she means. He hears crashing inside the cottage and looks in that direction, then looks at Darcy again.

“Jane- She could get it out” He takes a sharp breath in, “She- 

“It wouldn’t… Matter” Darcy shakes her head, “Whistle bullets fragment inside” Bucky scowls, “each fragment is a traceable”

Bucky grits his jaw, and he starts pulling from her arm.

“You have to go”

“Not without you” He replies firmly, breathing harsh through his nose. 

“You _have_ to go” 

And she is struggling to breathe. Bucky shuts his eyes, he’s tired, his throat feels tight and his hand is burning, and Jane’s sister is dying infront of him when they were so close to escaping. Darcy hooks a finger under his chin and makes him look at her. She reaches for his hand and puts the necklace in his palm, closing it tightly afterwards. He shakes his head, there had to be something else he could do.

"Millions depend on it" Darcy swallows tightly, "You and Jane depend on it"

Bucky looks at her, there are tears streaming down her face. But she didn’t look scare, or angry about the situation as much as he felt. She made up her mind already, she made a choice and there was nothing he could do or say to make her change her mind.

"You have to drive east to get to the limits of the colony" She starts, "Once you are out, say these words to the panel"

"I can’t leave you here”

He tries anyways. But it comes out weakly, he’s defeated and he knows.

"You say this words exactly, _soldier_ " she says sharply.

He’s not a soldier, he wants to say, it was just a stupid name people called him for amusement. Bucky licks his lips and nod.

"Sirius, Talitah, Algol, Rigel"

Bucky repeats them in his head and nods. Darcy pulls him towards her and hugs him tightly. He wraps his arms around her and thanks her. When they pull back she nods.

"Tell her..." 

_I would give my life for Jane._

"I'll tell her you kept your promise" He says. 

Her eyes welled with tears, her lips forming a smile. He takes a deep breath and stands up, when he finally turns to leave Darcy calls his name.

“Jane” She says, “She’s more fragile than she seems”

And he isn’t sure he agrees, but remains quiet.

“She needs your protection… And your love” She takes a few shallow breaths.

He nods, “She has me”

Before he leaves, he glances back at her, and she looks... Grateful, relieved. And he grips the necklace in his hands before putting it in his pocket. They have to go.


	22. The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by "[Flesh and Bone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAqp9MtRFNo)" by Keaton Henson.

One breath in.

_It’s been weeks since she last saw Jane and she can’t seem to find a way out for either of them. Darcy is trapped in Haze – she could leave if she wanted but truth was that there was no better place for a woman in the Slums than Haze – and she hears word that Madame Aida will debut her new Doves in a party that night._

_"If your sister really is one of them, she will be bought tonight to be Clipped”_

_Darcy is cleaning the bar when she hears Elektra’s voice behind her. She hated Elektra, everyone did but no one messed with her because she was Red Skull’s favorite. Darcy continues her task at hand but the woman doesn’t leave._

_“You don’t get it do you?” Elektra scoffs, “Whether you like it or not, this is your life now” She walks pass her, bumping their shoulders on purpose, “And that will be hers"_

_She can’t accept it yet._  

One breath out.

 _Jane was safe. As safe as either of them could be. She had been told by Sadie that a girl fitting Jane’s description had been bought by ‘his Highness’ Alexander Pierce, alongside a few others. Red Skull had bought one for himself the day before, she called herself Rosebud and now walked around the bar like she owned it._

_At first she is shocked, then worried, Jane was now living with a High Commander. The worst feeling though, as days pass and Elektra keeps getting into her head, is the anger that takes control of her. Jane was living with a HighCommander while she was stuck in a seedy bar._

_This was her life now and that was Jane’s. She had it better. The worst part is that she envies her._

_She tries to drown it with alcohol._

One breath in. 

_Two night later the opportunity for her to escape arrives._

_Haze is packed with customers, including a party of twelve men that come from The Cinders. That’s where she finds him. Loki Odinson. She had met him briefly over five years ago, and Jane was promised to marry his brother. Always the best for Jane._

_Darcy waits until he stands to go to the bathrooms to talk to him. She tells him she left Glassmere after there was a fire in her house, for some reason the full truth doesn’t seem like a good idea, and Loki offers his condolences for her lost. He tells her that she shouldn’t be in an establishment like that and offers to take her with him to The Cinders,_ we are old friends after all _, he says and Darcy can’t believe her luck._  

One breath out.

 _Something isn’t quite right about The Cinders. And when Thor dies in a horse-riding freak accident, she begins to worry. His sister Hela arrives a few days after Thor’s passing and Darcy hates her immediately. She hides in her room with a bottle of cognac she stole from Loki’s studio. A few days later she had been rummaging in the maid’s attic when she found an old radio, it was dusty and looked like it hadn’t been used in a while but it could be easily fixed. She does fix it, and even manages to amplify the signal, surfing through several channels until she can find the same one she used in Glassmere to talk to her friends._

_That night Loki needs her out of the house and lets her drive to the citadel, where she hides in a bar and drinks herself to oblivion. She thinks is just for fun, or because it calms her down, but it’s to drown the voice that blames her for leaving Jane behind._

_Once home, the radio is beeping, someone was trying to contact her. Darcy hides in her closet with it and answers._

_“This is Letitia Fox” The voice at the other end says, “This is- we are here"_

_All might be lost for her, but at least she isn’t alone._

One breath in. 

 _She is not in Arcadia anymore._ Jane _is not in Arcadia anymore._

 _Darcy feels a combination of relief and guilt, and she finds herself returning to the same bar she goes almost every night, drinking by herself. Jane would try to find her, and once she did she would hate her for abandoning her in that place._

_She finally tells Loki about Jane and he pretended to care, saying he would sent for her. Darcy doesn’t give a fuck about Loki anymore and she can’t stand being around Hela either. Jane is going to hate all of them, her included. There was something going on too, that kept them so busy and late at night having hushed conversations in Loki’s studio, she didn’t want to find herself tangled with their business so she kept away from the house as much as she could._

_“Hey”_

_She turns to find a man smiling at her on the bar. Blond hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders. If she didn’t feel as miserable as she did she would go for it._

_“Get lost” Darcy says instead._

_The man chuckles and sits next to her, “How did a nice girl like-“_

_“Like me ended up in a place like this” Darcy looks at him unimpressed, “Seriously” she deadpans, “That’s the line you are going for?”_

_He laughs amused, and gestures the bartender for a drink. They only serve beer and vodka there, so he asks for a beer._

_“Not a heavy drinker?”_

_The man shrugs, “Not really” he says, “Are you from around here or…”_

_Darcy cocks an eyebrow, “A bit too soon to ask where my place is"_

_The man’s lips quirk upwards but he drops whatever facade he had. Darcy pushes her glass away and stands._

_“Your messages to Glassmere are being intercepted”_

_She freezes._

_“Darcy Lewis”_

_Her blood runs cold and she turns to him slowly. The man gestures her to sit but she glances at the exit, she could make a run for it. She tries remembering if she said something to Letitia that could get her in trouble with Loki, but she can’t think of anything._

_The man then says, “I’m here because I need your help”_

_Darcy frowns._

_“Just listen to what I have to say” He says, “If you don’t… If you want to leave afterwards, I won’t stop you”_

_After a few seconds she nods and sits next to him._

_He tells her about Hydra. About Loki and Hela being part of some kind of criminal organisation that has existed for decades. How they are the responsible for Glassmere falling and how they are putting their grand plan in motion. But there was people trying to stop them, and they needed someone on the inside to help them get ‘sensitive’ information they knew Loki had in his possession. He tells her that if she agreed, they would help her get to the Freelands. It was her chance to make things right, to redeem herself for… Everything she feels guilty for. And once Loki gets Jane and they reunite… She will forgive her._

_“Tell me what I have to do”_

_He smiles._

_He gives her a small chip and tells her to just leave it anywhere near a computer and it will copy every file in a matter of minutes, and then slides a device towards her. Everything you need to know about Hydra is there. He gives her co-ordinates and tells her that they will wait but not for long. In that moment the bartender tells her she has a message coming from Catalean. The man next to her stands, before he leaves he leans towards her and whispers in her ear._

_“Welcome to the resistance”_

One breath out. 

Darcy stops feeling the pain but he can still feel the warm blood pouring out of her. The bullet lodged inside and the fragments making the wound throb. She stares in the direction Bucky Barnes left, and sighs relieved when she can’t see him anymore, the darkness working as a mantle of protection as he and Jane make their escape. She reaches for her bag, Bucky had thankfully left it next to her before he laid her on the ground.

“Over here!”

The Shadow Men start leaving the cottage. She reaches inside the bag as she struggles to stand, knowing that they had already found her. The lights from the flashlights blind her briefly, when her eyes get used she can see there are eight men surrounding her, holding they rifles to her. They are all shouting, at her or eachother she can’t quiet get it, her eyesight is blurring and she feels tired. But she isn’t scared.

She isn’t scared of Loki.

“What is that on your hand!?” One man shouts, “Put your hands up!”

She isn’t scared of those men.

Darcy shakes her head, “They never fail who die in a great cause" 

She isn’t scared of dying.

“It’s a grenade!”

Darcy takes her last breath in. 

When she opens her eyes all she sees it’s clarity for a few seconds.

There is a soft song playing in the background, and she blinks several times before she stands up slowly. She inhales the sweet smell of cinnamon around her and finally focuses her gaze. Her mother’s face is split into a warm smile that reaches her kind eyes, She returns it at the same time Julia opens her arms for her. 

“Mama?” Her voice breaks, it sounds distant to herself, “Mama!” 

Julia’s hair smells sweet, and she is so warm when Darcy embraces her, “It’s alright, baby, I’m here”

Darcy buries her head on the crook of her neck and soon the tears start streaming down her face. She was having a bad dream, she wants to say, something bad happened but… When Darcy can’t remember what it was, and her throat is too tight to speak she lets herself cry. 

“Baby mine, I’m here now” Julia leaves a kiss on her hair, “Don’t cry”

Darcy let’s out a whimper that turns to a chuckle, and she looks at her mother’s face. She kisses her mother’s forehead and smiles at her. 

“I’m just so…” She lets out a soft laugh, and the tears blur her sight once again, “I’m so happy you are here, mama”

Julia’s warm laugh fill the air. Darcy sees her extent a hand to her, she’s on the doorway now. Her feet are naked and the floor is soft underneath, and she feels like floating as she moves closer to her mother again. 

“Nothing can hurt you now” 

_Last breath out._

 

* * *

 

He’s almost outside the barn when he hears the explosion. Even though he was far, it felt like it had happened right next to him. The ground shakes under him and he falls to his knees, the gravel scratch his palms before he covers his ears too late.

 _Say this words._  

There is a ringing in his ears. His lungs are burning, his knees feels weak, but he continues to run without looking back. _Come on, Buck, come on_. He takes two sharp breaths in and lifts himself up. He tells himself to keep moving, to keep running. 

 _Say this words, soldier._  

A man jumps from the shadow, and he pounces over him. He slams his fist against his face until he stops struggling under him. the ringing inside his head finally goes away, and then there’s silence.

 _Sirius, Talilah…_  

He can smell the smoke, and when he looks behind he can see the house being consumed by the fire. But he makes it to the barn. It’s quiet, and he pushes the doors not knowing if he made any sound. All he can hear now is his heart is pounding in his ears and his own heavy breathing.

 _Algol, Rigel._  

He gets into the car and slams the door closed. Jane is saying something, he looks at her but no sound comes from her lips as they move. He sees Jane is holding the keys and takes it from her, but he can’t seem to figure how to turn the car on When he finds the key slot his hands are shaking to hard. Darcy died for them.

 _Star._  

She calls his name but he doesn’t seem to be there. His eyes are wide and there is cold sweat running down his brow. His sigh blurs and, dammit, he's crying and choking.

“Siri- siri-“ 

“Bucky, Buck look at me” Jane puts both hands on each side of his face, warm against the cold sweat running down his forehead. He looks at her, and circles her wrist.

“Bucky, what was that? What happened?” 

He wrenches himself from her hold and shakes his head. 

“We have to go” He says, “Sirius, Ta-talilah” 

“What?” Jane looks as his shaky hands reach for the keys, “Bucky, what are you saying? What-“

“Algol- Algol, Rigel”

“What are you- _Where is Darcy_?” 

He turns shifts the gear and when she stops him, he slaps her hand away.

“Where is Darcy?!” She pushes, “Is she in the other car? Are we-“

“She’s dead, Jane” Bucky says, but it comes out too quietly. 

Jane can’t hear him over the commotion going on outside. Bucky keeps repeating the same thing over and over, but he doesn’t give her an answer. When she looks at the barn doors and realises they remain close, and no one is coming, she tries to ignore the noise and focus on him. 

“Are we- are we taking both cars?” 

Bucky shakes his head and she takes a sharp breath in. For a second everything is still, quiet, and he grips the steering wheel like he is trying not to pass out. Jane sees his hands are covered in dirt, and there is blood in his shirt. He said… He said Darcy... Jane’s eyes they are glassy and her chest is moving up and down at a fast pace.

“Darcy is-“

“No” Jane shuts her eyes, “no, no, _no_ Bucky, she-” 

“She was shot, they- they found us and-” It was his fault, he can’t look at her and tell her that, “We have to leave now, Jane or-“

Jane doesn’t listen to him, she turns around and opens the passengers door, getting out in a swift motion. Her legs shake and her hands are cold as ice, nails digging into her palms, and she hears him open his door. He reaches Jane in two long strides and grabs her arm.

“We have to go!” Bucky says, “Time’s run-“ 

"Did you see her die?!” She tries wrenching herself from his grip, “Bucky did you-"

"Yes I did!" He shouts.

Jane freezes. She hears herself beg frantically, that she wants to go back for her, she can help her, they can’t leave her, as Bucky drags her towards the car again, as she punches his chest and pushes him off her. The alarm form the house seems to be everywhere now and he can hear shouting getting closer to them. 

Jane is not listening to him. He swallows the nod in his throat. The injector he had taken from Hela is in his left pocket, and he grips Jane’s wrist, the one fisting his shirt as she sobs loudly. 

“Let me go back, please!” She cries, “Ple- Bucky, let me go back” 

He hugs her tightly and presses the needle against her neck. 

Jane gasps when she feels a sting on her neck, and she lets go of Bucky as if he was made of fire. His arms around her don’t stop her, and he isn’t looking at her. Her eyes go wide and she takes her hand to her neck. Bucky forces himself to look at her, and when he gives a step forward, she gives one back. 

An the voices outside are too close.

“I’m sorry, Jane”

“What is- what did… Did you do?” 

When her knees give up on her, he catches her. And Jane protests are weak. He sits her on the passengers seat and puts her seatbelt on. 

“Bucky” 

Jane tries to look at him but her head feels too heavy, and she feels her temple bang against the cold glass window. When she looks outside they are moving. Everything is moving, the world starts spinning around as she feels the sting on her neck fade away and being replaced by a buzzing sensation that spreads across her body. She feels but doesn’t at all. Jane tries calling his name again, but she can’t seem to be able to talk at all, the name trapped in her throat and her tongue heavy in her mouth.

 _What did you do to me?_  

“Bu…” 

Jane feels the fabric of his shirt as she manages to reach for his shoulder, and grips tightly making him look at her.

“Why?”

The man looks away, and she lets out a breath that turns into a choked out sob. Tears sting her eyes and she tries to blink them away but everything blurs out, his face only a dark shadow next to her. _Where are we going to go now_. As she drifts away to an unwanted sleep, she wonders how could it feel like he’s her perdition when he was once her salvation.

 

 

 

 

_And my body's weak_

_Feel my lungs giving up on me_

_I'm worried it might just be_

_Something my soul needs_

 

_And I see war on the screen_

_And it is cruel and unclean_

_But I still worry more about you..._

 

 

  

 

**End of part II.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part III Coming Soon.


End file.
